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Published: December 7th 2014
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High above the East China Sea
This is my first entry into what I have decided to call my travel journal. I was reluctant to start one because I don’t think I will be diligent enough about updating it.
I had never been to Tom Bradley Terminal. - at least not recently - but was impressed by how much nicer it is than the rest of LAXlax
This is my first 10+ hour flight and I still have 3 hours remaining. The flight was very “light” and I actually had a whole row to myself. Kind of. I was in a row of three and a nice super smiley little Asian lady managed to communicate to me that she had been in Argentina and hadn’t slept for 24 hours. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I respect my elders (I didn’t say parents I said elders), and have been told that this is an especially important trait in Asia. Though that did not cross my mind at the time and was considering telling her to “fuck off” in my nicest way possible. But I had been busy telling people to fuck off for the day (thank
you Matt Biernat) as it was so I moved from my empty three seat row to an empty two seat row.
All in all I am not too unhappy. Her little body was able to fit into the three seats to lay down (come to think of it I am the third tallest person on this flight so everyone can lay down on three seats except from me and the other two caucasians). Bittersweet I suppose. Now I know how Matt feels. Aside from the sub retarded IQ.
I am currently flying over Japan, which is unfortunately as close as I will get to it this trip. Still, the lights are as bright as I imagined them. And as I look down I kept help but feel as though some part of me has been here before. The lights excite me in a way I have never known, so much so that I have even taken up a journal, and the words just keep coming. They are not words of insight or erudition, just one young man’s observations.
NOTES: I am not especially partial to Asian women, but one of the flight attendants on EVA
is the most gorgeous woman EVER. Not in a traditional sense, as she has ears like my good buddy Daniel, but those ears on her face have me gawking at her nonstop. I hope they don’t throw me out the emergency hatch - so far I haven’t said anything to or about her. If I do I will make sure to bow and ask if her parents are on board so that I may meet them. (Oh God, here she comes with my coffee). Maybe if I spill it on her she will strike up a conversation. Shit. She was only serving breakfast, no coffee. Did I say breakfast? I meant fish porridge. What the fuck? Its 2 AM! I take my fish porridge before bedtime thank you. But I cannot forget this: The tea they served on the plane was some of the best I have EVER head.
-She just spoke with me in a way that said, “Nick, your haircut is so fucking hot (even though you look like a Gunnery Seargent) and if you would be so kind as to remove the complimentary green EVA airlines slippers you are wearing, it will be easier for me to ‘access you’”. What I mean is that she asked me if I liked my porridge and I just smiled and looked at her and said, “Can we go to the bathroom now”. Oh wait, thats not what I happened. I said, “Yeah the porridge was great but it turned me shitty. Can I go to the bathroom now? Are number two’s allowed on this plane? I have a feeling an American shit is bigger than an Asian person… I don’t know how these bathrooms will handle a hamburger.” She smiled and followed me in the lavatory.
More on the porridge: An Asian stampede just went barreling for the bathroom, just 30 minutes after breakfast was served, plenty of time for the porridge to incite a bowel movement. Pretty sure one of the ladies waiting was clenching her butt cheeks.
NOTES: When they show the position of the plane, it would be cool if they had a little dot represent the current place marker… It only serves to get your hopes up when on the map the plane itself represents 1/5 of the trip.
See iPhone picture: As you can see, the planes nose is about 500 miles SW of Taiwan while it tails is 500 miles NE.
These 777s must be huge. But still, even though the plane’s nose is so far ahead, the computer on board is saying it will take 1:48 minutes for the tail to catch up, at which point I will be in Taiwan.
NOTE: Sometimes the plane is going 900mph, other times, often just moments after the last reading, the speed will drop to about 450. I have not met the pirots but I bet they are Asian. Just kidding!
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