Homesickness

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I wish I could say that I had more interesting stories to tell about my seven weeks in Korea, but life has stagnated. I have had no social life for awhile now, and in a place so far from home, a week can feel like an eternity. My last week or two have been spent in relative isolation. I have no life right now outside my job. The nights drag on. The days fly by. My time here makes me think of a big block of ice. It melts slowly. There is still such a long way to go. So much time.

I am sick for my home. I miss Seattle. I think of all the things I love about it. All the places I want to go. All the things that I miss. The people I miss. I want to go out to dinner or happy hour with friends. I want to see Casper so badly. I hate being alone.

Marina is back, and hopefully we'll get to hang out after work soon. I need company. I am beginning to wither from the loneliness. I am starving to be close to people who care about me and I can be myself around. I wonder how I can last through the year like this.

It would almost be better for me at this point to have to work such long hours that I do nothing but work and sleep and talk for a bit to people at home. This was a rotten time in my life to leave home. I was so happy in Seattle. I wanted to settle there and be close to my friends, close enough to my family, close to Casper.

It is only when I think of the reason why I left in the first place that I know why I can't get on the earliest (cheapest) flight home--there is no money to be made at home. Not right now. I'm sure that if I were to go back home, I would be either nannying or working in food service or retail. I need more than that. It is my empty wallet that keeps me here, and I can't forget that, though it does nothing to comfort me or keep me company through the long nights and weekends here.

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