A Compilation of Recentness

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I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and enjoyed the tune. It definitely didn’t seem like the holidays here, both Cass and I only had one day off school and it was back to the grindstone for us. Many different and silly things have happened in the last week or so. To encompass everything, this entry will consist of a conglomeration of short stories for your holiday reading enjoyment.

DEATHBED

I have a theory that being trained in the slightest of athletic training in college gives me the proper authority to self diagnose things our modern health care tests and machines may not have the power to do so. In my mind, it is totally logical; in my mind that is… This started my bout with mercury poisoning (self diagnosed… remember). Basically since my plane landed on Korean soil, I’ve had to say goodbye to my ‘immune system of iron’ that I’ve sported in my life until this point. In the past, I’ve eaten candy fresh off the bugger laden fingers of the school children I’ve taught. Now, more than ever before, I’ve had to err on the side of hand washing, E-Mart gummy vitamins, extra sleep, and Kleenex.

You may remember my little dabble into the world of eating mysterious sea life not too long ago. Arriving home from the trip, there was nothing out of the ordinary that a good night’s rest and hearty number two wouldn’t cure. Apparently, I was approaching a tipping point of sorts, for when Cass and I finished a nice dinner of sushi Sunday night; it hit me, and hit me hard. It crippled me into an ajima style hunch back, shuffle between the bed and the bathroom for nearly a week.

I was in mid sentence of the Sea Creature Smorgasbord entry, when I immediately succumbed to the urge to toss my cookies. Things spiraled downward faster than the U.S. economy at that point. I retired to bed around 8:00 that night and stared eye to eye with a night of hot sweats, chills, and nausea. At first, I blamed E-Mart, the supplier of the sushi, until Cass read a story on the internet about an actor, who, after eating a meal of seafood, came down with a case of mercury poisoning. That was all the reason I needed for a definitive self diagnosis… who’s with me on this one? I told Cass I would keep a positive outlook, because if this was the end of Wick as we know it, I didn’t want to be a grouch when I went (in between those words, I think I see the word, ‘drama,’ somewhere).

No, it was really brutal for nearly a week. Everyday I walked into the school cafeteria greeted by the most unappetizing whiff of Korean spices, which could’ve sent me praying to the porcelain god at a moment’s notice. That week, I dined on dinners of saltines and ‘Ci eeda’ a Korean version of Sprite. Nearing Friday, though, I was starting to get my appetite back, the weakness in my body was lifting, and I actually felt a little more like myself.

Yeah, I stared mercury poisoning in the face, and I won.

SEOUL RUSH HOUR: 10 lbs. of stuff in a 5 lb. bag

Cass and I, as well as several of the other English teachers from Yeoju had a provincial wide training day just outside of Seoul. It was pretty uneventful except for the morning speaker’s behavioral management song put to the tune of Justin Timberlake’s ‘Sexy Back.’ Oh… he pulled it off, too.

That’s not the subject of this story, though. Reagan, Cass, and I decided to take off a little early; we didn’t need to play traditional games for the last hour, we thought a jaunt into the city for some food would serve us better. …and it did, once we got there.

We hopped on a bus that took us from Songnam into Gangnam, both areas of the city. There, we wandered the busy streets for a while. We then planned to go to the COEX Mall, a short subway ride away. Unbeknownst to us, just as we were entering the subway, the Greater Seoul Area population had the same idea. This is a city of like 11 million people! New York’s got nothing on this place…

Have you ever been in an airplane high above a beautifully treed swath of ground? Where the trees no longer take on their tree appearance, but morph into what looks like a sheet of green felt rustling in the breeze. The 100ft. oak trees, from this distance and because of their sheer number, almost turn into grass on the earth’s surface. That is the scene that projected in my head as we walked down the steps overlooking a sea of humanity… literally. The tops of people’s heads went on as far as the station would let me, like looking out at the ears of corn in Iowa and only having that come to an end because the earth curves. There were so many people so close together that their motion took on the appearance of water, ebbing and flowing to the path of least resistance.

The three of us kind of looked at each other with one of those looks, took a deep breath, and stepped foot onto the platform as if we were entering Narnia and didn’t know if we would ever return. Like walking into the outfield corn at the Field of Dreams…

In our previous ventures in to the mayhem, we have gotten a little taste of it. The pictures of it posted here, like showing unspeakable beautiful, doesn’t do the mass of humanity justice, like when you are exchanging elbow shots in the trenches.

“Ding, ding, ding.” The alarm sounded, notifying us of the train approaching. When the doors of the train opened up, the level of chaos ratcheted up a few notches. The patient crowd instantly sprang to life and, as if we were in a Metallica mosh pit, smashed far more people through the little doors than anyone could imagine. We stood, perhaps, thirty people back from the doors. Seeing the inside of the train car, the crowd, literally, picked us up off our feet and transported us into the belly of the train. We had no say where the three of us ended up, other than, “Whoa!”

In the train car, I took a quick count; in the approximate fifty square feet in between the doors on both sides of the car, there were 43 people smashed. That’s 43 people, not counting the people totally engulfed by the mayhem, smashed into a 5 by 10 foot area! Bursting at the seams, the welds held just long enough to get us to our appropriate station. The doors opened and we literally exploded onto the platform bursting into yet another sea of Korean-ity.

It almost turned into a game of sorts, seeing if we can actually acomplish what we were there to do, get to the next station. People elbowing, jostling for position, shoving to get where they need to go, yelling, dealing with strangers smashed up into their personal areas on a daily basis, made me feel bad for the people exposed to this out of necessity. It was such a high stress environment and all just to get home from work. I just couldn’t imagine this kind of shenanigan being a part of my daily routine.

CASS’ SCHOOL TRIP

Last Saturday was my school trip. We loaded on the “No Rae Bus” and headed east toward…the East Sea. We drove for about an hour, during which time a teacher from my school played games and entertained the teachers, while Mrs. Moon attempted to interpret (a very difficult task for her). Mr. Kim (of course) is clearly a very funny man…but the only time I could pay attention was when he was blatantly saying my name. Somehow, I won some kind of lottery, but had no idea how to check the winning numbers.

We stopped in a town and had a traditional noodle dish before getting back on the bus and heading to the coast. The teachers played a few more games and before I knew it, we had arrived at our destination, where we got out to look at the sea and snap a few pictures on the beach.

Next we headed to the fish market so the teachers could load up on fresh fish. I walked around looking at the live octopus, squid, and crab lined up for miles. The weather was biting cold and the people that work in the market seem to be made of steel. They continued to work hard, reaching their hands into the freezing cold water to snatch up the fish Extremely hard workers.

After 40 minutes of this, it was time to go eat, the main focus of the trip. We filed into a restaurant that we had all to ourselves. There are about 40 teachers at my school. I sat near my co-teacher, Miss Son, and my favorite young teacher, Sara. Several kinds of fresh, raw fish were brought to the table…all of which tasted delicious, especially when drowned in soy sauce and wasabi. Of course, the soju was being poured and teachers were making their rounds, peer pressuring the younger teachers to have shots of soju. I had a few, but many of the teachers had several.

Things got a little more interesting because the teachers that never talk to me, starting talking a lot. They were friendlier than they had ever been, and thanks to soju, felt comfortable enough with their English to talk to me. They seemed to know a lot more about me than I expected. They kept telling me stuff about myself, “I heard you…”. I guess I am just happy they have taken an interest in me. They were also very excited that I had actually learned some of their full names…a difficult task.

After about two and a half hours we got back on the bus and headed home. This was an interesting trip, filled with singing and drunken pee breaks. One of the young male teachers even accidently wandered into the women’s bathroom to relieve himself. I closed up the trip by singing a Corrs song as we pulled into Yeoju. All in all, it was a nice bonding trip. Nothing at school changed too much, but a few of the teachers are definitely speaking to me often…and I appreciate that.

SKIING KOREA- Part I

I was invited to go skiing with Rockstar Kim while we were on our school’s overnight. In true Korean style, I didn’t hear anything about it until he mentioned it Friday, in passing, that we would go Monday. I’ve learned that people are very true to their words, so, without any more knowledge and putting my nausea on the backburner for a while, I packed up what I had of my ski things and took them to school- preparation is always the key to combating ignorance… on so many levels.

I got text message from Mikyoung, my Korean teacher, in the afternoon about meeting her and another teacher in my ski clothes afterschool. That message meant several things to me; 1- I win, because I brought my stuff to school, 2- there must be a larger crew going than just Rockstar and I, and 3- I will most likely be giving a few ski lessons that evening. It’s all good, I like spending time with the Koreans. In fact, I feel lucky to have the opportunity to spend time with them. I’ve always had a good time with them, learning about them, their ways of living, and seeing things from their point of view is something I am fortunate to be in a position to experience.

Ms. Cheon and Mikyoung picked me up at school and we headed to get some Kimbob (sushi roll-like food without the fish), money, and to meet Rockstar, who was picking up his friend. We met up with them and headed towards Wonju, about a thirty minute car ride away to grab some rentals and to rip up Oak Valley Ski Area.

Ski areas around here are basically open twenty four hours a day. They are criss-crossed with water pipes and snow makers, as well as lights for night time skiing. The tickets we bought were for 5p.m. until 11p.m., while the next available ticket is for midnight until 6 a.m. Who needs to sleep, anyway? This area in particular, was more known for its golf course, which, if I had some clubs, I could’ve shot a round after skiing; there wasn’t any snow off the ski runs.

We pretty much stayed on the couple blue runs, eventually meeting up and taking the last several runs together as a group. It was lots of fun- even subpar skiing is fun- and turned into a beautiful night when big puffy snowflakes started falling.

HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS

Earlier in the week, Mr. Kim, asked me if I wanted to be Santa Claus for the Kindergarten class at school. I love the Christmas spirit more than anyone and wouldn’t do anything that would contradict that, so, of course, I told him I’d love to. After saying yes, though, I thought a little more about what that may entail… perhaps I will give presents away, that’s cool, but Santa should at least speak the language- of which I don’t (ish). Also, saying Korean names correctly takes superhuman brain power, of which I don’t possess. Also, what was I going to wear? I took on the attitude that I am just a pawn in their show, so go with whatever it is I’m supposed to do.

The moment came, I already told my class that I would be a bit late getting there this particular day, and headed down to the kindergarten room. I was directed to a work room where a box containing a full Santa suit, beard and wig and all, was waiting for me. Again, nothing is ever done halfway in these parts of the world, I should have known better. I was worried about ruining the image of Santa for all the children by butchering everyone’s name, so I got my hands on a class list and rehearsed a few times, most likely to no avail, but the effort was there.

The K teacher and Mr. Kim helped me transform into the jolly old fat man, while I could hear the class singing familiar carols, but with Korean words. P.S., there is nothing cuter than seeing little bitty kids belting out Rudolph totally in Korean (actually, it’s Loodolp). She had prepared a big red bag full of presents for the class. I grabbed one out of the bag to check the name, and thankfully, she typed every name in big, bold, English letters. Situation averted!

Actually, situation was wonderful. I hollered several, “ho ho ho’s,” and far too many, “Merry Christmas,” but they knew those words. Along with the names going well, the presents went great, and they even sang Santa a few carols they’ve been practicing. I gave them a resounding, “Chal ey so yo!” (good job) and was off to spread more Christmas delights throughout the globe.

CHRISTMAS DAY

We only had one day off, that being Christmas day, Thursday. My school has begun winter break and doesn’t begin again, officially, until Feb. 5th. I, however, and all the English teachers will give you the same story, must teach what is called, ‘winter camp;’ which are organized, but much more fun, classes for those who wanted to sign up. I began my first class on Friday, and it will last through the 23rd… when Cass and I will head off to the Philippines.

Having only one day off for the holiday made anything noteworthy hard to plan; we ended up at the outlet shops during the day. Since I have morphed into a shopper of sorts, I was enjoying the stroll through the stores and the nice, autumn-like, weather. We found some stellar deals, buying a puffy jacket at Mountain Hardwear, and practically raiding the Puma store.

That night, several of our English teacher friends and us met and cooked dinner. It all started with Leandra’s Trifle, which was far more than just a trifle good. It was a nice relaxing time with friends, hanging out and telling stories. Low key Christmas, but just the kind I like.

SKIING KOREA- Part II

Glory be to Facebook and all of its numerous threads used for communicating between many of the English teachers here in Yeoju. On any given day, I’ll receive up to fifteen emails regarding, let’s say, the weekend or Christmas or pictures from last weekend or some dinner sometime in the future, just about anything. I’m programmed to automatically skim through for content and quickly delete. I did, however, receive one message that was an invitation to go skiing the coming weekend. Cass and I, obviously, replied to that one and were off to Wonju, again, to rage the Hyundai Sungwoo Ski Resort.

I found this ski area on the internet with a simple google search, and thought it looked good. For my Montana friends, I would compare the size of it to the front side of Discovery Basin, but instead of two lifts, it had twelve, and a gondola! And instead of a few hundred skiers, it had several thousand skiers! If Discovery could be a mom and pop department store in Michigan’s Upper Penninsula… Hyundai Sungwoo would be a Wal-Mart in downtown Chicago during the Christmas shopping rush. I later discovered that it was more an amusment park than anything else; there was a full on arcade, kid zone, multiple mini marts, restaurants, playstation consoles with flat screens in the hallways, PSP orbs where you can play games randomly around, individual no rae bongs, bars, game zones, like a pool table mini golf course type thing… anything imaginable, oh, and cute little ski hill, too.

There were times of utter chaos and humanity, but Cass and I stayed on the upper mountain, where there were all blue and black runs (yeah, Cass was shredding up the man made powder, I mean, ice, on the black diamonds) where there were significantly less people. We made the mistake of taking a wrong turn and headed back down to the base area; it took us over a half hour of waiting in line to get on a lift. Yikes.

We had fun exploring the steep pitches and different runs. The icy conditions made things really challenging for everyone. We bought an afternoon pass, which was plenty of time to ski everything we wanted several times. Late in the day, the sun started to fall below the far side of the mountain and the shadows caused the mercury to drop significantly. So after visiting the crazy air compressors, that everyone uses to clean off the snow from everything, we headed in.

Staying true to our legitimate mountain and skiing culture, we retired to the bar for après drinks where we reeled in the rest of our group of ten. We sat, chatted, and warmed up for a few hours before catching the shuttle bus back to Wonju. Skiing is pretty much always fun, even combat skiing against thousands on a hill the size of some driveways back home.

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Photos

We miss Toesy
or, as Reagan says... Donut Belly

Christmas Dinner crew
Cass, Leandra, Reagan, Rachel, Susan, Jason, Me