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Published: August 21st 2007
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So we finally made it to the equator, and we're here to tell you that it's really, really hot in this part of the world. Not just that dry desert heat that everybody moves to Arizona for, but the awful, humid heat that makes it impossible for you to stop sweating or gasping for air. By the time you towel off from a cold shower, you're ready to jump right back in again. Forget about trying to keep ice in your glass folks, it's like walking around inside a pressure cooker.
But the good news is that we have landed in Singapore, and they are prepared for this kind of weather. How do they survive living in the middle of this rainforest climate? Why, they go shopping of course!
Singapore is the wealthiest country in Southeast Asia, and they show it. The skyline is completely full of condo highrises, huge hotels, and corporate headquarters. There is not a street on this island of only 4.5 million people without a shopping mall on it. It's kind of like what would happen if New York decided to turn itself into Beverly Hills. Gucci, Fendi, Prada, Cartier, Valentino.... they are all here
The NewAsia Bar
if the view doesn't make you dizzy, the drinks will with the giant palm trees and huge cineplexes, and tunnel upon tunnel of wonderful air conditioning to connect them all. If you just got a new credit card, this is the place to go.
But the image doesn't just stop at shopping. Singapore has such an air of wealth compared to it's neighbors, that it has permeated every facet of life in a big city. The highways and streets are perfectly manicured with landscaping. The park trees don't have a single dead branch in them. Cineplexes have you pick out your seats before you enter, and the bathrooms are actually inside the theaters. Parking garages have displays that not only show you how full they are, but in what direction you can find a spot. Huge air conditioners, which look like alien spaceships, blow cold air OUTSIDE of the shopping complexes. You can pay bills, traffic tickets, and do your banking from ATM machines. All of Singapore's 19,000 taxi cabs are only allowed to be 3 years old, AT MOST, and many of them are Mercedes. As a matter of fact, there are no used cars on the roads at all. Not that it matters, the subway system covers
Meal time at the Zoo
A sloth and giant fruit bats share some fruit the entire island (and still expanding so you don't have to walk 3 extra blocks), is ridiculously on time, and makes it completely unneccesary to own a car at all.
But I know what you're thinking. "James, are the rumors true? Is what everybody says about Singapore really possible?"
To quote Buddy Guy, who performed at the enormous Esplanade Theater last Friday, "Man, this has gotta be the cleanest damn city I've ever been in."
There is no gum on the subway floor. There is no trash in the street. There are no cigarette butts in the corners of the buildings. There isn't a smuge on any of the glass covered skyscrapers. On our first bus ride into town, I counted litter on the highway, THE HIGHWAY, on just one hand. It's not just clean, it looks like it was built yesterday. And by looking around at all the new construction, it might have been. You can even drink the tap water, and for a Southeast Asian country, that says a lot.
But of course all this comes at a cost. The rules in Singapore are numerous and the penalties are severe. You cannot smoke in
What happens when you curse...
Are you ready for the tree of knives? any public place. You cannot jaywalk. You cannot chew gum. No food or drink allowed on the subways. Littering is a 2000 Sing fine ($1400). Bringing in non taxed items from outside the borders (even one can of beer) can land you in jail for smuggling. Even without the rules, the expenses run high. The Singapore dollar is worth almost as much as the US$, and even though many electronics and luxury items are made here, you will still pay US prices or more. If you want to drive a car, you must pay about $10,000 every 10 years, and the price of your car will be taxed 150%. That's right, a $20,000 car will actually cost you $50,000 to drive away in.
But the people in Singapore don't seem to mind, and they continue to shop, shop, shop every single day. Mainly because that's all there is to do.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of tourist activities. A trip to the Singapore Zoo was pretty rewarding. The Orangutans are allowed to swing in trees above the sidewalks (or even cruise around the zoo in golf carts, true story), and we got to see white tigers
Hydrogen fuel Station
Why can't we have this in the U.S.? catch pork chops from 40 feet away. Most of the animals are given large habitats and fed many times a day so people can see them at their best. Except for the polar bears. At 100 degrees F, they were completely miserable. There was also the very gawdy Haw Par Villa, a place dedicated to showing how the Chinese have incorporated the idea of Hell into Buddism. Essentially, there are ten different courts that depict different punishments for the sins you have commited in your past life. Prostitutes are boiled in blood, murderers have their arms and head cut off, and for all of us who use bad language, get ready to be thrown on to the "Tree of Knives". This is what the "Tiger Balm" family empire decided to build with their money. And where else can you go to a bar that is 70 stories up? On our first night there, we met our Austrian friends and enjoyed a great view over the city. The place was hip, the music was great, and the bill was, well......
That's the thing about Singapore. It's all about the money. It's expensive to do anything, and it has created a
Fountain of Wealth
Just circle three times and let the money roll in real image conscience society. Kids walk the malls all day in the most expensive clothes. Everyone talks constantly on their cell phones. All the latest products are being sold in huge plastic malls covered in advertisements, and all the big attractions are theme parks. Suz and I hated it. Actually, it reminds me of another country we ran away from 5 months ago......
P.S. Ironically, while in the cleanest city in the world, Suz picked up a real nasty case of bed bugs while we stayed at a guesthouse. These little vampires hide in the floorboards and wait until a warm body lays down next to them. Then they attack any part of the body they can reach, fill up with blood, and run away. I had a few bumps. Suz had some kind of allergic reaction which gave her hundreds of itchy red hives. You have not lived until you've spent an entire night trying to chase away tiny bugs with a flashlight. Make sure you wash your sheets every week, and sleep tight!
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Mom
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Incredible
Absolutely incredible, both the story and pictures! Well worth the wait! :)