Singapore!

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Touchdown in Singapore we were exhausted, instead of catching up on sleep I had watched Madagascar 3 and snow white and the huntsman. We jumped in a taxi and for the half an hour journey the driver insisted on giving us a history lesson of Singapore and grilling us on what we already knew (next to nothing) and insisting that we needed to get a map. Our hotel lobby was gorgeous, our room was slightly bigger then a shoe box and of the nature whereby if you had a shower you soaked every surface in the whole bathroom.

We had planned to meet Plantys friend Rob, they had decided a 15 minute window for us to quickly get changed and head straight out, unimpressed I was relieved when we realised Planty had told him the wrong time for landing and we actually had an hour! Rob too had realised though and half way through getting ready we got a phone call to say he had arrived. We ran around like crazy, Planty pulled out his outfit, an incredibly crumpled pair of pants and a polo top fitting a similar description. We tried in vain to smooth them out but he still ended up going out looking unloved! We met Rob and his friends in Albert court then made our way to the Marina bay sands where we were going for drinks in the rooftop bar. That idea was abandoned when we were told the entry fee ( it was a weekend) and we moved to another bar called equinox, which didn't have bad views anyway. This set my first impressions of Singapore and I must say I was shocked. It is a lot like Dubai, rich, lots of imposing buildings and fairly clean and I expected the people to be similar, welcoming and conservative. However these were the complete opposite! They are unsmiling and I’m sure I’ve seen some of the outfits on “my big fat gypsy wedding” seriously, these people do not wear clothes! I was shocked (and in my maxi dress evidently wearing too much!) it was so weird. We had a couple of expensive beers (and an extortionate) cocktail and then headed somewhere slightly cheaper but still above budget. I had a strawberry margarita which was bliss in the heat of Singapore. We realised the only thing we had eaten all day was plane food and decided to make a pit stop at MacDonalds. It was only then we realised the time, it was past 3am! You couldn’t tell though, MacDonalds itself was full and the city had no intention of quieting down.



Unsurprisingly we arose later than planned the next morning and headed out to find ourselves a new phone. We had the address of the shop, but no idea of prices. I had read about a huge supermarket in little India called the mustafa centre which is relatively well priced so we headed up there to grasp an idea first. So on our first day after leaving the Indian subcontinent where we had spent the last 35 days we were in Singapore’s little India, and it felt like we had never left! Considering Singapore’s expensive reputation, goods in little India were cheap. Everything had price labels (which was nice) after deciding on a pretty hideous waving cat for my mums Christmas present and consequently abandoning the idea when remembering the post office drama in Sri Lanka and browsing some shops unsuccessfully for a watch for Planty ( for some reason he didn't want a Ben 10 one!) we found the supermarket. I underestimated how big this “supermarket” was, literally you could spend days in it. We got Planty a Liverpool top and some pizza and a rendang pie(which tasted like citronella) for lunch (an indication of the scope of things available) we also sent our remaining parcels there. On pricing up phones we left to see the lady from the trains friend and bought exactly the same one Planty had before we killed it, minus the cracked screen and for half the price of the UK. Proud of our purchase but not convinced from what we had seen in little India that Singapore deserved its clean, strict reputation we set off to Orchard road. Home to the expensive shops!



On the way we saw an advert for Universal studios Halloween celebrations, and were dragged in by the staff to try out the “taster” set up in the shopping centre. I point blank refused to go in, Farmageddon last year had officially scared me and put me off haunted houses, we left with leaflets and it was bugging me, I didn’t want to do it, but then again felt like we should. We strolled up Orchard road and began questioning if we had come to the right place. I had raved about it to planty saying its the home of the mega shops, the big names like Gucci and Rolex and definitely where he would see some fast cars. We approached it from a very unassuming end, it was nice but not impressive and I was feeling let down. 10 minutes later it was like a battle to see who could build the most staggering shopping mall, they were everywhere and they were amazing! We were in an absolute sea of people, there were things going on at all angles and Planty had his share of nice cars. Although we couldn't shop it was a great experience just browsing (we bought some supplies from Lush and I fell in love with a jumper in Roxy, *cough* Christmas *cough* Mum 😉.) we had dinner there, for what we paid, it wasn't great if i'm honest, but we had enjoyed our afternoon nevertheless.



We had an early start the next morning whether Planty wanted to or not, I literally had to drag him out of bed, but I couldn't contain myself, we were going to the zoo to have breakfast with the Orang-utans! Breakfast was buffet style, they had hash browns, beans and scrambled eggs, which was exciting, there was also chicken sausages and beef bacon, which just wasn't the same! We literally had the best seats in the place, we were so close to the orangutans. The script was they climb down onto some wooden blocks where a guy was handing out (ape) food and drink. We all queue up and have our pictures taken with them. There were also some marmosets and a coral snake for photo ops. The focus was on the apes though, they were amazing. Singapore zoo has the largest captive colony of orangutans in the world and the restaurant we were in is called Ah meng, named after An Orang-utan who was a tourism and conservation icon for Singapore zoo for nearly 40 years, she received a tourism ambassador reward, opened the KFC in the zoo and 4ooo people turned up to her funeral. The zoo has a mixture of Sumatran and Borneo orang-utans, the Sumatran being the rarest. there were babies of each species and they were both so cute! The Borneo baby was like a little ginger ball of fluff! He was having a severely bad hair and whereas the adults were happy to sit and eat whilst we had our pictures taken, the babies couldn’t keep still. It was such a good experience being so close to such beautiful, rare creatures!



We didn’t think anything could top that but as we were wandering round we soon did. We were looking at the manatees when we noticed a zoo keeper telling a bunch of tourists that they were in the wrong place for the show, curious we followed them and stumbled upon a sea lion show. we have seen them before and I’m normally not keen, I don't see the purpose of zoo's that exploit unnatural behaviour, in a tiny little chlorinated pool. however this was different. The sealion was obviously healthy and full of life. he was doing skills such as swimming and jumping and they were explaining why the sealion does it in the wild, there was no ball balancing or hoop jumping which was great. It was fun but educational and he did clap and stuff but that was just enough to keep it light-hearted and fun and show off his great intelligence. The highlight though (and I’m discrediting everything I’ve just said about unnatural behaviour) was when Planty volunteered to throw a Frisbee for the sealion to catch and was picked. A woman went first and threw from about 5 meters away from the sealion. He caught it no problem, next was Planty and they made him go half way up the amphitheatre into the audience. His threat for a bad throw was to be thrown in the pool and he was obviously questioning his ability! The sealion caught it with minimal effort and everyone was suitably impressed, including myself. I suppose not everyone can say they’ve played frisbee with a sealion!



The zoo was massive, there were elephants, giraffes, zebras, white tigers and other typical zoo creatures. The there were the not so typical creatures such as naked mole rats, king cobras and komodo dragons. Each bit was sponsored by a different brand so tiger beer sponsored the tigers, the orang-utans were individually sponsored by schools and charities and worryingly the zebras were sponsored by kfc! The big focus of the zoo is the rain forest and there was an exhibition called fragile forest. This was fantastic. You walk through the enclosure which is home to butterflies, flying fox, iguanas, sloth’s and lemurs. It was amazing! Especially because the butterflies seemed attracted to Plantys hat.



My highlight however was feeding the manatees, there were about 6 all together and for a fee you can feed them at a certain time of the day. I was at the front of the queue, the rest of which consisted of people below the age of five..... the manatees come to the side of the pool so you can place carrot sticks and some pelleted food into their mouths. They have really tough whiskery faces which get quite sharp towards their mouths and are so unbelievably ugly, I love them! We also watched the king cobra be fed. This was not as impressive as I expected if i'm honest. The cobra “Elvis” was 4 meters long when he was caught on a golf course in Singapore, deeming him unsafe to the public he was housed in the zoo. When threatened he can stand up to 1.2m tall, being the largest venomous snake in the world. None of this was apparent however when they put in his dinner (a chopped up snake on the end of a very large stick) and he 'smelt' around it and placidly began munching on it. There was a guy explaining what was happening and being grilled about it by a group of children in the process. He made the mistake of saying it was the most venomous snake in the world, which was completely discredited by a bunch of kids, at the top of their lungs proclaiming that was the taipan, he abruptly changed it to the largest venomous snake in the world and then described their venom as strong enough to kill an elephant. This was met with a discussion about the cobra eating elephants which was just as bizarre as it sounds, i'm sure he regretted using that allegory!



Pretty soon we were hot and hungry and were drawn like moths to a flame to the nice air-conditioned KFC. We were served with mash and gravy that was like school dinner mash, fries in cheese sauce and a chicken burger. I am relieved to say there was not a zebra in sight! From there it was a taxi back to the hotel, this was another nutter who insisted on telling us the best places to get Singapore food. Personally I would never trust a man with a lank grey ponytail!



We had a pitstop freshen up before making our way across to Sentosa island as we had decided to partake in their Halloween celebrations. Its safe to say I was wetting myself a little at the thought of it! We had the obligatory photo stop at the universal studios globe before grabbing some dinner in a nearby restaurant. Planty had an amazing burger, it towered over mine and had fried onions and bacon on it (i'm now at the point of travelling when I get excited by western food.) I also tried grape fanta here, It was my new firm favourite! We watched as it went dark, the place was a hive of activity, people in costume everywhere, although to be fair some may not have been in costume... we killed some time in “candylicious” where Planty got his sugar and e numbers fix through a big tube of sherbet and I got some sticks of rock that were definitely not rock... we joined a massive heard of Singaporean kiddies “queuing” at the ticket gates. We fought our way to the front eventually to meet with the ticket attendant in full character, seriously she was the only one that got away with being miserable as she was in costume. It must be their favourite time of year because they can be as sullen as they like! She was good though, if a little creepy, set the stage for what was inside. You couldn’t avoid the Halloween celebrations as they took up the streets inside universal studios. The first called the “house of dolls” was set up like a doll shop but with cracked skulls and black eyes. They were like the scary doll in toy story.. but worse. There were also people in costume coming up to you and getting in your face, there were clowns, midget dolls and tall dolls. There were some amazing costumes, I’ll put some pictures up as its tough to describe. At the end of that street was “the puppet master” you can have your picture taken on his stage in the ropes but its tough to get any pictures in Singapore, it is after all what the Asians do best! Its also at this point Planty got accosted by some clowns on stilts, they actually seemed quite friendly despite appearances, smacking his back as they bounded off.



The next section was set up as NYC, there had been a helicopter crash which had leaked a toxic fluid creating zombies. There was a large screen at the beginning screening a newsflash of the tragedy and warning people away. That was undoubtedly the worst bit, the exploding cars had people flying away on strings. CGI nightmare! We were rushed through by guys in army gear, there was an eerie green glow, lots of bangs and overturned vehicles with bodies hanging out. We were approached by zombies, many of them asking for help, one called me mummy, I chose to stay close behind the screaming locals so they would focus on them! Through that we came to some rides. Many of the main ones were open including the big blue and red rollercosters... human and something else. We queued up and half way through I began to panic, I had no idea what these did! Planty assured me (on the first) it was a slower version of nemesis at Alton towers, before we were flung around corkscrews, through loops and upside down at a speed much faster then Nemesis, needless to say I spent it with my eyes closed screaming expletives at him about how i'm never trusting him again! The second followed pretty much the same script. By far the best ride was the transformers ride. I started raving about it from the moment we queued up! Everything is in script, for example its not a ride its an escape mission. The whole queue was themed and we were briefed on how we were to survive. We climbed into a little pod, donned our “safety glasses” and went on a 4d mission! It was a simulator but the best I have ever been on, seriously it was so real. We were in a new recruit transformer trying to save the all spark, but our little pod was moving around and shifting to different views, there was cold, wind and heat to simulate falling off a building etc. when someone through the allspark at us it flew towards us burning and the air around us got really hot, I actually ducked as it came towards us! Towards the end we fell off the top of a skyscraper, but just in time bumblebee saved us, his signature stereo playing. On the way out the ride attendant congratulated us on a good job and successfully completing our mission. It was a refreshing change to see someone enthusiastic after the miserable jobsworths in Alton towers.



The next section of the park had an Egyptian mummy theme. It was already themed like that as there was a mummy ride. We didn’t actually go on it as it had long queues and we wanted to see as much as possible. The street was pretty cool though. There were guys dressed as mummy’s, some as Pharaohs and some just covered in blood. I had my photo taken with a couple of weird people and a snake and there were also belly dancers and fire dancers. From there we went into Jurassic park, this was a normal part of the theme park but it think the fact that it was dark enhanced the experience. We went on the river rapids which were much better than Alton towers, you trundle along past dinosaurs then hit a security breach and go up In the lift just as you are about to hit a huge tyrannosaurus Rex you drop down and get covered in water. It was becoming obvious that the attention to detail here is what makes it a success. We did a sky ride that was too fast to be a sky-ride then moved on. From here was a haunted house, “the insanitarium” was the one I was not looking forward to as I found it disturbing, luckily the queues were huge we moved on the “far far away” much more up my street! We went into the castle and queued for the Shrek 4d adventure. We went through into a room where we were told a story about Lord Farquaards ghost. Then through into a small cinema room where we put on our “ogre glasses” and watched a small Shrek film. It was good, the seats moved and when donkey sneezed water came out the seats in front, I would have been impressed if the transformers ride wasn’t still fresh in my mind! The queues for the insanitarium were still huge and we were exhausted, we walked around abit checking the queues for the other rides but they were all massive too. We didn’t have the patience to queue up so we decided to head back, we grabbed the monorail and then the metro before crashing out in our shoebox bedroom.



For our final day we had to sort out our train the next day, as our internet was playing up and the customer service team were frightfully unhelpful we decided to go up to woodlands checkpoint and get the tickets ourselves, a journey that would take over 2 hours. We went right into suburban Singapore. We watched from the metro as the blocks of flats went from building number 100 to 920, it was easy to see where all those people came from! We walked through a park/reservoir where there were people having a nap and signs warning us to beware of falling branches and on the street they had fitness centres, basically just a couple of bars in-case you fancied a workout on your way to work, something they should implement in the UK! It was a waste of time but we were able to see how the locals live, and see bits of Singapore the normal tourist does not. From there we went to get the cable cars over to sentosa island. These were angry bird themed and we got a free angry bird mask with our tickets. The views were pretty good, I think I may be a little scared of heights though, it wasn’t my favourite thing i've ever done!



Next stop was the Merlion. The Merlion is Singapore’s symbol that derives from their relationship with the sea and because the guy who discovered Singapore is said to have been greeted by a lion when he came ashore (how the lion got there in there first place I have no idea!) . There is a good view from the top and a good photo opportunity from the mouth but that was pretty much it. On the way in we were given a gold coin as the Merlion is supposed to be lucky and you put the coin in its mouth for a prize, our prizes were a couple of tacky sentosa fans, not so lucky if you ask me! We headed down to have a nosy at the beaches, hearing that although they’re artificial they are quite pretty. By this point we were sweltering and our bottle of water was warm. We stopped at a bar for a sol each, possibly the nicest drink I have had so far! And had a look round. We were not really attired for beaches so went to look at the luge instead. We opted for three which was three sky rides up and three luge’s down. The sky ride was basically a park bench with a bar across, I didn’t like it one bit! We went up really high and I dint feel safe. The luge was great fun though. We raced down the hill Planty winning most times! It would have been better if the track was longer and we didn’t keep getting stuck behind slow, stupid herds of Singaporean numpties! On the second skyride we were half way when a massive rainstorm hit. I have never panicked that much ever! First of all Planty's second phone was in my bag which was fabric, I couldn’t bear the though of loosing another! And the fact that it was pouring down, the wind was swinging us and the whale on the one behind us was screaming “we're all gonna die” Cheers love! I was practically hysterical when we got off, I flung Plantys phone at him and separated the battery whilst he pointed out that it was actually dry! When we finished I went through my bag, our angry birds masks were ruined, as was everything else paper! I had our passports on me as we needed them to book the train, they were looking scraggly and Plantys spare change of smart top was unsalvagable. We had to abandon all remaining plans and head back to the hotel, we were soaked! We got the metro and then stopped at a bakery where I got a sausage roll! By this point I was nearly dry, planty bless him was still pretty soggy. We were handed a leaflet for cheap phones so went to look as I still didn’t have one. In the shop was an ipad, for much less than the UK. We started to toy with the idea, each thinking of ways we could justify its purchase. For the metro journey we bounced ideas backwards and forwards which mostly involved curbing our biggest expenditures.. food and beer! By the time we reached our stop (which was conveniently on Oxford road) we decided to just go to the apple shop and compare prices. 20 minutes later we had chosen a shiny new white one in the latest model. We had to hang on for abit whilst they got it from their warehouse so went next door to a fast food restaurant that was all about fresh quality food (it wasn’t bad!) a short while after that we were the proud owners of a new ipad. We still had raffles to do, and the marina bay sands, we sacked off the latter as we were saving money but we couldn’t come to Singapore and not go to the home of the Singapore sling! I had to use force to drag planty away from the ipad, even the prospect of beer didn’t help! We walked through a really smelly dirty bit of Singapore. We arrived at raffles, it is a beautiful colonial hotel, I stopped to read the info about its history but Planty could sense beer. We went to the infamous long bar where we were welcomed and given menus, they do a range of slings and the summer one sounded gorgeous, however I was here to have a Singapore sling and we were on a budget so I could just have the one! Planty got a half yard of tiger which I think he regretted when I came to drinking it! Long bar was gorgeous, despite the penut shells on the floor it had an elegant air, the fans were brown leaf shapes and swayed slowly on the ceiling in a hypnotic manner and all the bar was wooden and had a sort of pre 1950s feel to it. There was a live band playing a range of hits from “rolling in the deep” to “simply the best” it was strange to see a little Chinese woman belting out Adele! We were good and left after one drink and went back to the hotel to fight over the ipad.



I liked Singapore much more than expected. At first it seemed a lot like Dubai, clean with a higher standard of living. However it was expensive and unlike Dubai I wasn't keen on the people. They were unhelpful and were all in a hurry, with their eyes glued to their phones and headphones in... but it was your fault if you get in their way! However it had a charm to it, its mix of colonial and new set it apart from Dubai as it has a rich history, and Sentosa island is just one big playground!



Planty's Version

As we touched down in Singapore, I knew the next 4 days were going to be expensive, but I knew the next few hours were going to be tough.I can't sleep on planes at all, add that to the fact that I'd been awake since 2am, and we landed in Singapore at 9pm local time meant I was ready for bed, but we had plans.Robert Morgan, my very first friend when I was younger who used to live across the road from me was in Singapore just for the night, as he works for a major airline.We'd arranged a few months back to go for a few drinks that night, as I'd not seen him for years as he'd moved down south for work.After grabbing our bags, we jumped into a taxi and headed for the hotel for a pit stop shower and change, I wasn't really in the mood for talking, but our taxi driver insisted on giving us a short history of this tiny country we'd just landed in.After spending so much time in India and Sri Lanka, I had got used to people talking to me, still with their local accent, but this guy was the first person I'd spoke to in Singapore and dear god, it was hard to understand him.I spent the entire journey wondering what he'd just said, then replying with either "mmmm", "oh right" or "yeah, I understand", of course the latter was a complete lie.



We got to the hotel checked in and went straight up to our room to get ready, we had about 30 minutes.After some of the absolute dives we stayed at in India, I think I could pretty much stay anywhere, but not when our hotel room in Singapore was that small, I think the borrowers would have even felt cramped in there, it was tiny!We had a bed, and about a foot of space either side of it, so we obviously struggled to find a place to put our bags, other than the bed.So, the countdown was on, we had to get changed, I'd been awake for god knows how long, had to endure a tuk tuk, train, coach, tuk tuk, plane and taxi to get from the hotel in Sri Lanka to the hotel in Singapore, I was in serious need of a jet-wash, but we didn't have one of them lying around, so we had to settle for a shower instead.As we frantically rushed around our shoebox getting ready, the phone rang, it was Rob, he'd got to the hotel to meet us early, but as we weren't ready, he went for a drink with his work mates who'd come along for a drink.We eventually got ready, and met him outside our hotel, and I wasn't surprised to see that he hadn't changed one bit.



The plan for the evening was to go to a bar called Ku De Ta, which is on top of the Marina Bay Sands hotel, basically the modern day image of Singapore, 3 towers with a long ship shaped bar on the top overlooking the city.As we went to pay and go up to the bar, we were to,d it was 38 Singapore Dollars (£19), but as none of us air millionaires, we decided to try another place, not before Rob tried various methods of getting us in cheaper, such as airline discount, but the sour faced cow at the desk was having none of it, so we headed to another place.The hotel that Rob and his work mates were staying in had a roof top bar with excellent views over Singapore, so we headed there and we're stunned by the views of the city, and the price of beers, £5 for a beer! And it wasn't even a pint, but this was Friday night in Singapore.After we admired the views and got a few pictures, we sat a chatted about our lives, what we had been up to, and then began to reminisce of our childhood spent in Bodmin Ave.



After a few beers, we decided to head to another bar, quite a bit cheaper than the one we had been in.After yet more well needed beers, we all conceded that it was time for us all to get our heads down, but first, me and Lotty needed food, and we found it, in the form of a McDonald's.We sat there and scoffed our food like wild pigs and then became aware of the time, it was 3am, but the place was pretty busy, it seemed like Singapore was a city that didn't need sleep, but we all did, so we said our farewells to Rob, and went our separate ways, with me and Lotty crashing out in our extra small shoebox.



The next morning, we headed out to an area of Singapore called 'little India', to see if we could get ourselves a new phone, as we're struggling without one.Before we left on our travels, people had always told me how clean Singapore is, I don't think they had ever been to little India though, it was a dive, still, it wasn't as dirty as the country it's named after.After a quick look round, we found the shop we had been looking for, and got a new phone, finally! Being without a phone for what felt like a lifetime, but was actually a week, was pretty hard going, especially when you're halfway around the world.



After we'd been let down with how much of a dump little India was, we headed to the most famous and expensive shopping street in Singapore, Orchard road.This is where the real Singapore is, for a country so small I couldn't believe how many shopping malls they had, there are loads of them, and none of the are exactly small.The place was immaculate, but then again, there are so many fines for so many things, you daren't do any wrong, for example, chewing gum in public gets you a fine of $500 (£250), and apparently, urinating in a lift gets you the same punishment, dropping litter is also subject to a similar fine.We'd been told about the fines, and that you never see police officers on the street because they're all in plain clothes, as people are more likely to commit these offences if they can't see any police around.

After a long few hours of being dragged for shop to shop to even more shop, we headed backto our hotel, although Lotty had to guide me, as I spent the entire walk looking for nice cars, as a beautiful Lamborghini Superleggera had just blasted past us.We grabbed a few beers from a 7-11 just down the road from our hotel, headed up to our room and planned out what we would be doing the next day....well when I say we, I mean Lotty, as I was too busy enjoying my beers.



We headed to the zoo the next morning, which is supposed to be one of the best in the world, but in my eyes, a zoo is a zoo, whether its Chester, Blackpool or wherever, this one had to be pretty special.Lotty had booked for us to have breakfast at Singapore zoo with the orang-utans, which was a bit like eating next to a drunk teenager, we then had our photo taken with the hairy beasts, and headed into the zoo to see what all the fuss was about.In my honest opinions, zoos are all the same, basically a place for people to look at animals and take pictures of them, and I can't imagine the animals like it very much, I got very annoyed at times in India when people used to stand and stare at me, and attempt in the most obvious way, to take pictures of me.So, we had a few hours to kill in the zoo, and decided to head to the snake enclosure first, as the majority of you will know by now, I do have a slight phobia of snakes, so I thought it was best we got these hideous cretins out of the way first.The first snake we came across was a 4 metre king cobra called 'Elvis', because he was the king of snakes, apparently, although if he's such a king, how did he end up being caught and put on display in a zoo?Turns out, good old Elvis was found one golf course a few yeas ago, and it was decided that it would be a good idea to sling him in a zoo, because otherwise, he may pose a threat to the general public......you don't say!We read other facts about Elvis, the most frightening was that he, and other king cobras can raise a third of their body length up, so in this case, it was just over 1 metre, again, if I was to witness this without bulletproof glass being between us, I'd need to change my underpants.



We left the horrible snake section, and went off further into the zoo, after passing various animals of all shapes, sizes, breeds and colour, we stumbled upon a sealion show and decided to have a look.Normally, these sorts of shows are just for the amusement of dim witted people who seem absolutely stunned that a sealion can swim, or jump out of the water, so I didn't expect much else, but then again, this is Singapore zoo, and it seems that they like to educate their customers about the animals.The show was basically about how strong the sealion was, having the ability to hold its own body weight on its front flippers, basically the same as Johnny Vegas doing a handstand and holding the position for 5 minutes, and other interesting facts, but thankfully, we didn't see anything cheesy, until they asked the audience for some help.When one of the trainers asked for 2 volunteers from the audience that were taller than her, my hand quickly shot up, as we were sat right at the back, I wasn't expecting to be picked, I just like embarrassing Lotty in public, as I sat there like a kid on a sugar rush hoping to be picked....and to my amazement, I was.The 'game' that me and some middle aged Australian woman had to play, was to throw a frisbee to the sealion, so, ladies first, the woman thre her frisbee from about 5 metres and would you believe it....the sealion caught it, who would have guessed?!So, my turn next, and I waited for someone to pass me a frisbee, and then realised, I'd been stitched up, as I turned around and saw a zoo worker stood about half way up the auditorium style seating that everyone was sat on.What I had to do was run up the stairs and throw a frisbee about 30 metres down to the sealion.I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I threw it as hard as I could and waited for what felt like a lifetime as the frisbee glided down the auditorium, over people's heads, across the water and straight into the sealion's mouth, and felt like I'd scored the winning goal in the champions league final for Liverpool as everyone applauded and cheered for me, although being realistic, the way Liverpool are playing at the minute, I can't see them ever getting into the champions league for at least 20 years.



The rest of our stay at the zoo was pretty much the same as every other zoo I've been too, we walked around, stopped at different enclosures, and then I started to walk off again after Lotty spent 7 hours talking pictures of the same animal over, and over again.Before we left, Lotty fed a few manatees, which made her day, and I bravely headed back to the snake enclosure to see Elvis have his weekly feed.About 35 people crowded around the glass window and waited for feeding time, and a volunteer for the zoo gave us a talk with some information about the snake and what he eats, but he kept getting interrupted by an Australian lad who seemed to have some form of autism, and I'm not trying to make of fun of people with autism, but the stuff he was saying was quite funny, but at times, cringeworthy.The volunteer had introduced himself and the young lad asked what a volunteer means, to which he got a reply of "it means I don't get paid for doing this", to which the lad responded with "oh, so you must be really poor then?", to which I had to turn away and stop myself from laughing, as did the rest of the people there. A short time later, one of the funniest conversations I've ever heard took place between the volunteer and the young lad, and this is how it went....



Volunteer - the king cobra is the largest venomous snake in the world, and just one bite has enough venom to kill a fully grown elephant.

Young lad - so can it eat an elephant?

Volunteer - erm, no....it can't eat an elephant.

Young lad - oh....how abut a baby elephant.

Volunteer - no, it can't eat a baby elephant either.

Young lad - why not?

Volunteer - it can't open it's mouth wide enough.

Young lad - but what if it could?



We stood there cringing as all this went on, and saw most of the other people giggling and trying not to smile, but being honest, it was very funny to see.We left the zoo a short while later, grabbed a quick KFC (as you do when you're in an Asian country) and headed back to the hotel to quickly freshen up.The previous evening, as we walked to Orchard road, we found a bar that was showing the Merseyside Derby, so obviously, that was our plans for this evening, although Lotty had other ideas.Universal Studios on Sentosa island had their own Halloween night planned and we (Lotty) decided to go there instead, to be honest though, I thought it was probably the better idea to, as watching Liverpool play recently is an awfully frightful affair.We bought a couple of tickets for the event at a shopping mall close to the hotel, had another wander around, before making our way over to the island for what was sure to be a fun filled night.



We arrived on the island and as it was feeding time for us, we grabbed some food before heading into Universal Studios.I was looking forward to the next few hours, but it just didn't feel right, it was Halloween, but I had shorts and a t-shirt on, it was warm, even as it went dark, every other year at this time I'm normally freezing my giblets off and struggling to feel my toes, but not this time.We walked around the place and headed inside the Studios in absolute awe of everything around us, the time, money and effort that had been out in to building Universal Studios was amazing, but this was just the beginning of our night, there was so much more to come.Heading inside, we noticed that the streets of Universal Studios had been made to look like different scenarios, which were all spectacular, especially the first one we walked through, that depicted a devastating helicopter crash in New York City, which spilled out toxic gases and chemicals into the city.As we followed the crowds of people, there were actors dressed up as soldiers quickly trying to usher people through the 'toxic zone' and people who had been 'infected' screaming out and crying for help, but they did it so well and made it all feel so real.



The absolute highlight of the night for both me and Lotty was the Transformers ride, it was the first one we went on, but as it was just a motion simulator ride, I wasn't really expecting much from it.In the queue lines, there are props dotted around that make it feel more than just a line that you have to wait in, add to that, the many screens showing a mission brief being given to you, and you begin to get a little more intrigued as to whats about to happen.Before we knew it, it was our turn on the ride, the car held 12 people and you had to put on some very sexy looking 3D glasses.The ride started, and still I didn't think it was going to be very good at all, but that all changed, the car gets flung and dragged between different screens, battling out a mini war, the 3D effects are out of this world, I even ducked when I felt a blast of heat, and a fireball came rushing towards me on the screen, it was incredible.As the ride ended, we got off and were greeted by one of the ride operators, congratulating us on a good job and how we'd done the team proud, this is what I feel the likes of Alton Towers are missing, rather than have employees who make the entire experience feel real, you have some sweaty, spotty teenager saying in the dullest and most unenthusiastic voice "keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all time please".The rest of the park was just as good, the people seemed to enjoy what they did, a d made the experience worth while, I'm looking forward to going back to Singapore, just so I can go on that ride again.



As we'd only decided to include Malaysia and Thailand into our itinerary a few months before leaving the UK, we hasn't booked transport from Singapore, to our next destination, Kuala Lumpur, the cheapest way was a train, but we had problems trying to book online, and decided to make our way from our hotel right on the south of Singapore, to woodlands train station to get our tickets, which was all the way on the north of Singapore, seems like a but of a pain in the arse, but lucky for us, Singapore is tiny, so it only took 20 minutes on the metro. Once our cross country (albeit small country) trip to buy train tickets was over, we once more headed over to Sentosa Island, to see what e,se there was to do, as our trip to Singapore was nearly over.



We headed over to the island via cable cars, which happened to be sponsored by the very popular smart phone game 'Angry Birds', which is fine I suppose, until you realise that they have the annoying, yet infectious theme music playing over, and over, and over again while you're suspended above the sea wishing for the music to cease, all the while contemplating if jumping out of the cable car would be a better option.



Once we arrived on the Island, still with the annoying music playing over in my head, and even as I write this some time later, I cant still hear the damn music, we wandered around aimlessly in search of something to do. The first thing we did was to go up the 'Merlion', but obviously, this being in an Asian country, we got held up in the queue to pay, by a group of 4 Chinese people who seemed to want to talk about every possible option of paying, ticket choices, other attractions that they could pay for here, and probably the weekly weather update for Uzbekistan. After approximately 746 million years of waiting for the idiots to hurry up and just pay for their tickets, we managed to get our in about 5 seconds. The merlion is a statute with the head of a lion and the body of a fish, we found this out, and the story of its creation after watching a very cheey, but thankfully short animated video about it, before walking around inside the giant statue, to have photos taken, and carry on around the island.



According to my mothers favourite website in the world, Trip Advisor, the number 1 rated thing to do on Sentosa Island is a street luge, I read the review, and people rave about it, saying you must do it, and its amazing, so we did. Singapore is pretty expensive, we knew that when we decided to include it in our trip, and the luge was no exception, £12 each for 3 rides down the hill, we had to get a chair lift to the top, from there as we started off on the course, about 100 metres into it, the course splits off, and you choose which course you take. Being the absolute gentleman that I am, I let Lotty choose the course, and then as we were having a race, I wiped the floor with her, she's not good at racing, poor girl.



As we went up for our second attempt, the heavens opened, I don't mean the half arsed rain you get in the UK, I mean literally opened. So, we had no cover or shelter, as the chair lift was completely open, and wasn't the fastest moving thing in the world, we eventually got off at the top of the hill, and I was so wet, I could have had a wee in my pants, and people wouldn't be have noticed. I was bracing kind of expecting them to close the course, due to the monsoon that had just swooped down over the area, but they didn't, so because I'm not exactly sensible, I raced down the course on the next 2 attempts without thinking about the slippery course, and I won again both times. I don't think the staff seemed to be very happy though, as you get near the finish, the are stood next to the track, waving you to slow down, but as I'm a big kid, and don't like being told what to do when I'm having fun, I ignored them.



Once we'd had our fun on the luge, and were soaked to our insides, we decided that we would head back into Singapore as we didn't want to carry on in our soggy clothes. It was still quite early on, and we had planned to spend most of the evening on the Island, so, as we headed back on the metro, we came up with an idea. What do you do if you're a backpacker in Singapore, and the weather isn't to great? You get drunk of course, but we didn't do that because Lotty said the beer was too expensive, so we bought an I-pad instead......I know what you're thinking “beer is too expensive, but and I-pad isn't”, well actually no it's not, not when you compare the price of I-pads in the UK to the price in Singapore, we saved about £200 on the newest version, £200 which will obviously be spent on beer in Thailand. Back at the hotel, we quickly got our new toy set up and quickly Skyped my parents, just to test it was working really.



Our final thing to see in Singapore before we left the following morning, was to visit the world famous Long Bar at Raffles hotel, which is the birth place of the famous Singapore Sling. Because we've both worked in bars for years, and like to think of ourselves as alcohol connoisseurs (sounds much better than alcoholics), we felt we had to give this place a visit, but also, due to our escapades in spending an abosule shed load in the cocktail bar at the Burj Al Arab in Dubai, we limited ourselves to 1 drink each. So, as I was only allowed 1 drink, so I decided against having a bottle of beer, and had half a yard instead, while Lotty had a Singapore Sling.



We stuck to our word, and left after one drink, heading back to the hotel to get ready to leave Singapore. I let Lotty pack, because she loves it so much, and I did the import things, like download important apps on the I-pad to keep us entertained on the 6 hour train journey to Kuala Lumpur in the morning. We got a taxi to Woodlands the next morning to catch our train, and after waiting for about half an hour for the train, we headed through customs out of Singapore, then through immigration into Malaysia, even though we were still in Singapore....very bizarre, this was the only country on our travels that we'd been to without getting a flight there.



I'd really enjoyed our brief time in Singapore, it's very different from the Indian sub-continent that'd we'd endured and enjoyed for so long previous. It's definitely a place I could live, I just love how people keep the place so clean, but then again, they don't have a choice with the hefty fines that are in place, but thinking about it, why can't such fines be implemented in the UK? If you walk down any street in a town, city or even small village in the UK, you see rubbish thrown around, chewing gum stuck to the floor, it looks a mess, how hard can it be to start a strategy to clamp down on this, taking lessons from how Singapore do it. I suppose as long as David Cameron's on charge, not much is going to change, apart from the elite upper classes getting their daily does of cavier, while the working class struggle to survive and makes ends meet. But enough about that stuck up annoying git, back to Singapore, so, as I was saying, I loved the place, they certainly know how to do things in Singapore, and I am looking forward to our return, even thought it is only for 2 nights, before we catch our flight to Melbourne.

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