brawl at the dance bar

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My mood dipped again for a couple of days. I think the cold is partly to blame. All I want to do is stay in bed or remain under blankets on the couch watching TV. That’s not good for my motivation, and then lying around for too long is not good for my mental health.

Today I finally got myself together and forced myself to be productive. I spent the morning catching up on emails, and all afternoon was spent writing. I was productive, and now I am happy. I really am happier when I am busy. I think that’s often why I keep myself going at breakneck speed. Less time to be caught in my spiral of thoughts that way.

I stopped by the beauty shop today to visit Bindya and Teena. Teena wasn’t there, so Bindya took the opportunity to divulge some secrets to me. Her brother left for Michigan today. He has a one year contract working for a professor who works in some sort of animal field at University of Michigan. Her brother is a big deal at Chitwan National Park and has been to the U.S. before to work with researchers. I don’t totally understand what he does or his new position, but I do know that he will be there for the next year.

Bindya told me that her brother is trying to set her up with an American man, which she has told me repeatedly is her dream. She once asked me what it is American women do to attract American men. I remember I stumbled for an answer and then made up something about showing them how much they are appreciated. I think she was looking for something she could do physically or sexually, but I told her that to attract the “good men” you have to be a good person yourself.

The guy they have in mind for her was actually born in India but has been in the States for a long time and is now a citizen. Bindya told me he is a bit older (14 years) and is divorced. To divorce in Nepal is a taboo, and for a woman to marry someone who is divorced is also stigmatized. Bindya told me I have to keep it a secret because her neighbors and lots of people in Nepal are “back-biting” (I think she meant back-stabbing) and will gossip about her. She told me that she doesn’t care if he’s older, if he’s divorced, or anything like that as long as he is “loving, caring, and a gentle man.”

She asked me, “Do you think this is okay?”

“Will it make you happy?” I asked in return.

“Yes, I think so.”

“Then it is okay.”

She went on to tell me she went to a fortune teller so that he could read her horoscope. He said that she would marry a divorced man, but that he would be kind to her. It was after that that she made up her mind to pursue this. She plans to go to the U.S. in March to meet the guy, or else he will come here. She also assured me that if they do marry, she will not be a housewife but will find a job. I told her she is a very modern woman. And she is, for Nepal. She is very progressive and open-minded, which is a rare quality to find in Nepali culture. I told her that if and when she comes to the U.S. she can visit and stay with me, and she got very excited. “We will have long relationship, huh?” she squealed.

My buddy at the Radisson, Rijav (I think), who is always there and very friendly talked to me for a while today. He told me how he got the job there because his uncle is the assistant manager, and to get a good job like that you have to know someone. He told me he wants to join the British army, but that he has to work for a while first. How he’ll join the British army, I’m not sure. He was surprised when I told him I was not married. He, too, is not married (he’s only 23), and said that he has to make some money first before he can provide for a family. It sounds like his is very ambitious—hoping to use this job to open up other opportunities. He also meets a lot of foreigners this way, which I think is a good education. Anyway, I am now getting a discount at the Radisson café, I think by his doing. Today on my bill it said, “per regular customer” with a 10% discount. Nice!

In other news, there was a gang fight at one of the dance restaurants on Christmas night. Turns out the one guy that was killed is a distant relative of Dinesh, so he has been busy at the hospital with the other victims and negotiating with the police as to the price the perpetrator should pay to the family of the deceased, if I understood him correctly on the phone today. He asked me if I wanted to come with him to the hospital today, and I declined. I don’t really need to be hanging out in the hospital rooms of stabbing or shooting victims. But they are going to cremate the body of his relative at Pashupati sometime soon, so I said I would go to that. Yesterday morning some classmates of the guy that died burned tires and smashed the windows of the restaurant in protest while the police shot tear gas pellets at them. We were supposed to go to the restaurants tonight, but this unfortunately might put a damper on that part of my research.

The electricity is out right now. 3 hours of load shedding every Friday and Saturday night. The Colonel gave me 2 battery powered lights that last for 5 hours, so at least I don’t have to cook by candlelight. I think the Colonel is having chicken for dinner. There were strange noises coming from the chicken coop, so I looked out the window to check it out. The cook was in there, and the dogs were going crazy barking. I saw him holding one chicken by the legs while it was flapping its wings wildly. Too dark for me to see anything else. I’m just having rice and beans.

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