WRECKHEAD CREW - HO!!!

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So, the uniting of a crew that only fully disembarked about 4 weeks ago...Consisted of 6 members...A Welsh girl named Heleed...('Hell' for short)...A funny german Yan, Scouse Rachel, Manc partners Emma and Jo...and the delightful burnsie of the irish contingent! All united their swords in battle to take on what was suppost to be a peace mission but unfolded into complete slaughter...

But we'll continue that in a second, because firstly...there is the whole story of the train journey to undertake...

Sraight from the jungle to the nearest town on a clapp't up local bus that was really...and I mean really struggling to get up them hills!!! Upon which we met heleedd the welsh whale! (but she was pretty cute, so of course burnsie made a move - what do you take me for!!!?) Anywho...Turned up in the town at about 9pm, the train didn't leave till 2am...what do you do...Find a Chinese Restaurant and drink 15 bottles of Tiger beer between the 4 of you! Awesome, this is getting off to a great start! Eventually the train turns up for us to realise there were no seats left, but we could stand at a ticket cost more expensive than the seats...why not, we're stuck otherwise!!! So on we get at 2 in the morning with the poor locals trying to sleep and we all break out in...yep...you guessed it...The best of the Italian National anthem...Then comes along the welsh nutter who duly rhymes off the most uninterpretable of all languages that they call welsh, singing her national anthem at the top of her voice!!! Of course we were asked to calm down and by 3.30, all was asleep...up at 6 for a taxi drive from hell, and then onto a motorboat to take us to this malaysian paradise...

Now...

On the beach, in the sweltering heat..I was assigned to find a bed and possibly made the worst mistake of the day (or the week). I started to talk to an english girl called Rachel...She was from Liverpool! Can I re- re- re-wind time Doc and me and marty will flip the time reversal button, change that whole incident and just ignore her!!!...As things turned out, all 4 (Rachel, Hell, Yan and myself) of us shared a double bed flat for the 4 days...and was it a messpit by the end- chuh huh! We hit the beach every day, and hit 1 of the 2 bars on offer to us on the islands each night...sheesha bongs on the sand was always quite relaxing, and then to bed early to try and catch the rays the next day. We even got a full day snorkelliung in where I saw another reef shark and followed it for ages...and also the biggest turtle in the world, which also got a chase - me with no flippers on, so boy was I shot by the end oif it!!!...And the reef here is just as good as that on offer in Austrailia, all exactly the same fish and coral...but for a fraction of the price!...Stunning - you just can't get enough of it!...Just a shame the tourism isn't pushed as much cos boy they have a dream here! And the whole iosland itself is made up of a load of rundown shaks that have been wiped out time and time again by various typhoon lagoons and the rest. Litter everywhere and the locals arn't the friendliest! It took us 2.5 hours to recieve our seafood barbecue, so we walked out...starving!!! Most laid back place in the world...And everyone looks stoned! But funny none the same, I aint gonna let it ruffle my feathers!!!

Then....

And this is where the fun starts! A volleyball match on the beach! Again Doc, can I borrow that de lorean and erase this event too...?!?!!? Because this is where Emma and Jo entered our circle, and it was that evening where the wreckhead crew would truly unite...hoooooooooooooooooo......
But the first night wasn't that bad really...It consisted of a few beers, but here's where the mental part comes in...The last night on the island...we were all having a ball, pretty drunk off this 'monkey juice' stuff they sold at the bar (had a picture of me on the bottle and everything!)...this stuff is crazy, eneded in all of us doing lunges through the dancefloor and tops off shaking each others boobies - all that carry on you usually do when acting a monkey! It was pure carnage! Anyway, comments were made about the music and next thing, poor old me was thrown off my chair by some immature 19yr old english london geezer (who thought he was the lad) and his mates all crowding round, me being the nice calm peace keeper had a few words and tried to calm the situation...next thing all the girls had been started on too by what can only be described as 'jabba the hutt'...So the night in the bar ended with me getting a bucket thrown at me 4 times and everyone chasing us out of the bar...no problem...we'll leave...I'm on bloody holiday - the last thing I want to do is fight for god's sake!!! So we walked out the bar and went streaking!!! Me and Joe in the sea with well, nothing on really, and everyone else taking off various garments. Next thing...along comes english guy with his tribe of hunchmen traking us down to try and restart the ruccas...Mental...

This has happened a few times this year where I've near got into fights (but you'll be proud to know I havn't thrown any punches yet mum) and it is always from people from home. Locals all around the world get on with you sooo welll, and all this fear about how unsafe it is in various parts of S.America and Asia is very exagerated. Honestly, the only problem I have had is off people from the Home. U.K. and Ireland. And its always the young ones or the ejits who are on a 2 - 3 week holiday and want to bring the brawl from brixton on a saturday night to the other side of the world...

Rant Rant Rant, it really grinds my gears...!

Anywho, off the island and off to Penang to get my thai Visa...then on into Thailand...This should be interesting.....





marco sparco









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