HAKUNA MATATTA

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"..in the jungle , the Teman Negaru jungle, burnise rows a boat....
...in the jungle the Teman Negaru jungle, burnsie gets leeched by a leech...
...in the jungle the Teman Nagaru jungle, burnise builds a campfire...
...in the jungle the Teman Negaru jungle, burnsie sleeps in a cave...
...in the jungle the teman negaru jungle burnise eats lots of ginger to help the sickness of pregnant women...


....a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

ooops, just pissed meself...where's that hose???!

From the hospitablity and culture that was living and breathing with a malay family for a few days, I returned back to KL to get my bus up to Teman Negaru where the junglist is masseeeeeeev! Apparently Techno went out years ago!...

(I will return and finish the Ridz blog once the right words come to me)

Early start to get a bus, but doesn't help when you go to the wrong bus station, so another few tubes way out of the city to get there at around 10am, just as the last bus of the day was leaving - that was a bit lucky, eh! Here, at the bus stop I met Chris and his mother who were stopping in MAlaysia for a few days before hitting Austrailia were they were meeting up with his fiancee. Well, what a mum...A few more years older than my own she had always wanted to do the rough tourist thing but her late husbaand always liked the pleasures of hotel rooms and the minibar!...So they had basically got off the plane from heathrow and come straight to get this bus for another 6 hours to the jungle, where she would sit happilly getting eaten alive and murdered by the mosquitos whilst also having to clean her bum with a bucket of water...Hats off to you darling - sterling work!...I spent the first night with them before clearing off in the morning and doing a 1.5 hour ride up the river on a boat, where we would then be dropped off and have to hike the whole way home - 8km one day and a further 8 the next!...this would be great, elephants and tigers and all sorts of pigs and stuff...But what I really saw was an absolute shedload of leeches trying to get into my socks at every available chance, ants the size of spiders and spiders the size of welll....big feckin spiders!...also...loads of other wee insects and some strange looking monkeys that followed us through the trees for a bit!

It was just cool to be out in the middle of nowhere, our guide chopping up sticks and bits of plants to feed us telling that various pieces help for indigestion, and others help for sickness if you get bitten or others help if you are pregnant. It was really cool but scary when he showed us 2 different branches that looked near identical and said one contained water, the other contained poison that would kill you with one lick...I'll let you carry on with the chopping then shall I guide if you don't mind!...So off we trotted for a good few hours, me at the front of the pipeband singing hip hop classics from the retro years, a bit of abba thrown in there too for good measure...and who can forget the Italian national anthem, a very big favourite of mine from the compilation CD. I think davy the italian stallion was getting a bit peeved by the end of the 2 days, but me and yan were laughing n e who! (yan the funny german who I met and later travelled to the perinthean islands with)...So we clombed into a batcave with poo literally all over the floor, your feet dropping in a good 5 cm every time you touched your foot down, the odd bat whisking down to try and nibble a chunk off your ear - then if you bothered to take the photo...all you would see in the flash was swarms upon swarms upon swarms of the lil black winged beggars coming at you from all directions...! I mean, thoudsands - they were everywhere. Get me out of here, I aint no bruce wayne, and this certainly aint gotham city!!! So that night, after we climbed out of that cave and I near wrecked me ankle, we did a little rope swing, went for a swim in the river were a tree branch near came down and knocked out the poor little french boy --ha ha ha...we found another cave (this one not inhabited by bats) and lay down our plastic sheets and sleeping bags on the dirt to rest out heads for the night! The guide called me over - he was in charge of the food and I was in charge of the fire...Good aul boy scout camper coming out in me again!....and what a fire...well after it took me about an hour and a half to build it...But me aul Scout Leader Dave would have been proud!

So the next morning waking up smelling of ash and stinking of sweat...I had slept in my shorts and barely taken my T-shirt off...All that was new were the socks...but only becasue the other ones got wet...Let's go trekking!...same old same old as first with the leeches and lack of wildlife, but the highlight had to be the awesome swim in the river, along with complimentary rope swing that duly gives you friction burns all over your hands...happy days!!! noodles and chockie chip coockies, what else do you need. Eventually got back to base completely knackered and soaking in sweat. So a quick shower...and then yan convinced me to get on that bus with him that evening and get to the islands...They were Muslim islands so there was no drink allowed and it was yet another tropical, quiet peaceful paradise somewhat untouched and undisturbed!...or....so they thought. Although they had not yet encountered what became known from shore to shore as 'The wreckhead crew', and this crazy bunch of capers had other thoughts in mind!



marco sparco

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