Advertisement
Published: June 13th 2007
UntitledThe last time I wrote my blog I was in Kuching waiting to visit a Taoist psychic session. Since then I have broken the CD containing the only copies of my photos (FUCK!), visited a tribe, scuba dived and read a couple of books. My lack of updates has been because of busyness, tiredness and lacking of internet cafes. So today I have done 4 and dated them roughly from when I wrote them.
On the 8th june at about 9pm Ho Minh (my link to the psychic world of Borneo) picked up me, Harriet and Paddy. Harriet and Paddy were a dutch/english couple who stayed at the same backpackers and had witnesed the whole Jade debaucle and expressed interest in the paranormal. Ho drove us to his brothers house where we had an hour to look around before the psychics arrived. The most interesting thing we found was at the bottom of the garden in what looked like a dog house. Inside was a statue of Allah. Even though Islam forbids any depiction of their God these chinese Taoists have a statue of Allah apparently to pay respects to the muslims that inhabit the rest of malaysia. He was kept seperate because he doesnt drink beer unlike the other god statues. It was all hilarious but we were respectful enough not to tell Ho this.
Once the first medium arrived he immediately put on the robes of the god he was to invoke: Guan Yu (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guan_Yu)
He then sat down at a chair infront of an antique desk with incense and statues. My host sat me down about a metre away and straight away his legs started flapping around wildly, then his arms and then his whole body was a blur. The fit lasted for about 2 minutes after which he suddenly stopped. Once I could see his face again I noticed he had developed an oddly confident smirk. Everyone around him started to bow and pay respects.
From what Ho explained they all now believed that his soul had escaped his body and was now in a nearby jar. Meanwhile his body was being controlled by the god Guan Yu. I stepped up for a blessing. I asked him about my studies for the next year and after some more limb flapping he told me (and Ho translated) that I would do excellently but that I should drink less alchohol. Chinese Gods or not the man has some good advice. To be polite I acted like a true believer but not having much experience in this area my performance was probably unconvincing. The whole spectacle was intense and it was amazing to think the people around me actually believed that a god was in their prescence.
When the second (and my favourite) psychic arrived things got even more interesting. This mans speciality was to channel the God of drinking. but while he was channeling the god all he seemed to do was drink Stella Artois with his eyes half closed and a big fat smile on his face. My host told me that when he is inhabited by the God he has special powers for example: being able to drink 12 cans of beer in 3 hours!!! If only the bible had miracles like that I might not be the dirty atheist I now am. I had a meeting with the god and he gave me 2 blessed cans of stella artois.
After a couple of hours the drinking god started shaking his limbs and Ho told me that he was going to channel a goddess. Someone brought him a silk nightgown and he suddenly started to move around very femininely and giving holy pressure point massages to everyone. His stamini and range was amazing becuase after this he became "Iron Crutch Li" and then back to drinking god. Me and the other backpackers spent the last half hour talking to a very rat arsed drinking god. They all thought we were Christians and Ho translated some interesting rambling comments about Jesus. the best one was that the drinking god said he sort of liked jesus but he had met him in one of the heavens and been mistaken for a demon.
The strangest thing is that they do this every saturday night for about 4 hours! I couldnt get it into my head that they believed these guys were gods. All these people had good jobs and big cars which made it stranger. I spoke to the drinking gods son for a while and he is training to be a doctor and seemed embaressed by the whole thing. I know all religion is crazy but to see someone put on a nightgown and say that he is a goddess and for other people to believe him is beyond my understanding. However a proper analysis is for another time and place.
The day after this Taoist spiritfest I jumped on a bus and a boat to the beautiful Bako national park. Bako is an island about an hour from Kuching. Its covered with wildlife including exotic birds, lots of bearded pigs and the legendary proboscis monkey. But it is the macaques who really rule the place: wandering around in groups of 30 stealing food and generally being cute dickheads. One macaque even pinched a chicken nugget right from my breakfast plate. I would have been annoyed if he wasnt such a cool bastard. My second night there I relaxed on the beach and sunk my two blessed stellas unfortunately nothing magical happened beyond the magical effects of alcohol. On my final day I woke at 8am and rushed to the mangroves where saw the rare proboscis monkey. It really is the most ridiculous looking creature and I think it must know this because as soon as you see one, they swing to another tree to hide their freakish noses and human like limbs. After 2 nights and 3 days of trekking, monkey gangs and beautiful sunsets I left for my next destination: Bario.
Advertisement
Tot: 0.186s; Tpl: 0.016s; cc: 9; qc: 47; dbt: 0.0848s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.1mb
chris
non-member comment
!
yo rich! looks like you're having a wicked time!!! definately jealous! (My !-quota has been used up now :( ) could you smuggle back a proboscis monkey as a house pet? it looks like a pokemon(!)