Lucky man!

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Got up at 6.00 to catch a bus to Kota Kinabalu park HQ. Catching a bus in Malaysia is not simple. The controllers or drivers on all the buses have ask you where you are going. When you give them the answer all of them seem to be going to that destination. So i say Mount kinabalu HQ, a friendly divers says yes, this way....quickly. I follow him and he shows me to the bus. It's 7.00, the journey takes 2 hrs and I need to be on the waiting list by 9.30.

Assuming that when you get on a bus in Malaysia, it will set off is also a mistake. The bus driver waits and waits and waits for more passengers. Meanwhile I see the other buses leaving. So the driver starts his engine, which makes me feel a bit better. But this doesn't mean he's setting off. I think it's designed to give the impression that it will set off. Any minute now. Honest.

So it's now 745 and my head is starting to boil. I can't take it any more so I get off.

A bloke approaches me in the street and asks me if I'm going to the mountain. we agree a fee and he takes me to the express bus to Semporna that passess the mountain HQ.

Brilliant.

On the bus I start to feel pain in my stomach. Oh no.....I've got the trotts.

Try to hold it in. At least I've got some bog paper. It's in my bag....isn't it???

Oh no. It's not.

The good thing is, these aircon buses have toilets, so I walk to the back, look in the worst toilet in the world, and note it has no bog roll either.

I'll hold it in.

Pain, pain, pain.

Gotta go. Now.

Run to the toilet and immediatley feel 100% better. Like a new man. Aaaaaaaghh. Nirvana.

Now then. What do I do. No bog roll. To cut a long story short, I did what all the other locals do and learnt how to use water, a hose, and a bucket. Sort of like an Enema but without the mess.

Anhow I arrive at the HQ and find out that due to my late arrival there are loads of people on the waiting list before me. Rotten. Looks like I'm not climbing the mountain after all.

Then I bumb into Victor from Holland. Travelling on his own and wanting to share a guide. I told him my problem and luckily his mate dropped out. So with a bit of anglo-dutch-malay diplomacy I was able to replace Victor's mate on the climb! Brilliant!

So we set off on the climb and my problem starts again. I get the shakes, cold sweats and feel really dizzy. Not good on a mountain higher than 4000m.

I apologise and just drop em at the side of the path and again feel like I'm reborn. This time i had bog paper!

The climb in the heat was quite intense up to Laban Rata. It's a steep climb but there are places to rest for the less fit.

Ascending the mountain you see people descending from the previous days climb and it look like people have been at war. Being carried, using crutches, hopping. Crazy really. The real heroes on the mountain are the guides. These people are very small in stature but they are physically very powerful with huge calf muscles. We say them carrying 5 backpacks at once, 55kg calor gas bottles and people down the mountain who were just not prepared.

Even though we set off late we made good progress and arrived at Laban Rata before most. laban rata is the Mountain Lodge at about 3000m and it's pretty good really.

We were able to eat and relax and talk to other climbers. Whilst doing this the less fit were arriving. Some clearly were not going to make it. They were absolutely destroyed and unprepared for it. Thankfully Victor and I were ok, although he had strained his leg but was ok to set off in the morning. At 2.30 am!!! In the dark. Rotten.

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Photos

Kinabalu
di I look the part? All the gear and no idea....