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Caro: On arriving in Melaka it dawned on us that we were leaving SE Asia in less than 1 week and we had nothing organised for Australia. We planned to stay there for 3 nights as we liked the hotel (it was clean, had a separate shower and toilet and it was not flushed with a bucket of water!) so we had a lie in the next morning, had breakfast and headed out to find an internet cafe. Melaka is a quaint town with a lot of history but it has to be the most lethal place in the world if you want to wander round and take in the scenery. There are huge holes in the ground, due to a 16th Centuary drainage system which has never been updated, this for one smells a lot but more disturbing it is all open. I would hate to imagine what small children do there, or how people, in say a wheelchair manage to get about, fortunately we were neither. Going back to the smell though, SE Asia is certainly the land of the funky smells, Melaka takes this to a new level with the drainage system and means that you are walking
round permanently holding your nose. Al-fresco dining is pretty much a no no, as you can imagine. We found an internet cafe and managed not to loose any limbs or get swept off down any drains and we spent about 4 hours organising onward travel. Hotels for Cairns, research on the Great Barrier Reef trips, campervan hire to drive from Cairns to Brisbane, flights from Brisbane to Sydney and finally an apartment in Sydney. Phew - a lot of time spent in front of the computer, felt a bit like I was back at work.... well no not that bad actually.
When we emerged from the internet cafe it was about time for a beer. We noticed that there was a backpakers hostel at the end of the road so we stopped in there for a quick Tiger. It is never quick when you get chatting and soon enough we were accosted by a local who worked in a cafe nearby. He wanted to practise his english and in turn offered us tips on what to see and advice on where to get some authentic Malay food. Although he worked in a cafe he did not recommend his place,
they serve: pasta, pizza and Full English Breakfast with ... wait for it: Sprite! What a combination?! He also amused us greatly by suggesting that we did not need to pay for his advice. I could just see the Peter Kay sketch in my mind when he talks about the "and I'll tell you something for nothing" phrase, "no put your wallet away".
Whilst we were chatting to this guy, there was a crazy chinese woman who was sat at one of the tables. We couldn't work out whether she was crazy, drunk or perhaps both. She kept trying to stand up and leave but then sat down again straight away. The owners didn't bat an eyelid so we could only assume that she was staying there or she was a regular. We stopped back at the hotel before going out to dinner so that we could shower and change and headed out to find the place that our new friend had suggested. We decided not to go to the Chinese food stalls as he said that once they had drank too much, they start bottling each other (not a member of the Melaka tourist board me thinks), so
we headed in the other direction. Not too sure where he meant, we ended up in a place that we had passed the night before. There were loads of options on the board but she gave us the option of noodles or rice, I get the feeling that they had a certain amount of food and there was a limited selection available. We ended up with sweet and sour chicken which was nice and a noodle dish which resembled spagetti, bisto gravy and cabbage. A culinary delight which I will not be recreating at dinner parties on my return to the UK. We found out the next day what the restaurant was called - Picture attached.
We had been asked back to the backpakers bar - to see live music - by the owner who said that he would buy us a drink. We couldn't turn that offer down so we arrived to find 2 ladies setting up to do their "gig". They had a huge Casio Keyboard and a laptop and took it in turns to sing some really random songs, it reminded me of being a child and listening to "Hits from the 60s" whilst driving round
France. It was all a bit Chinese Kareoke but after a few drinks it started to sound a bit better. Towards the end of their 3rd set, we got chatting to Nils, the "boyfriend" of the lady at the front of the stage. Nils was from Denmark and had retired in Malaysia, he had just received citizenship. This was not the full story though, seemingly being a Westerner in Malaysia means that you can have at least 3 wives or girlfriends, so there was the lady on stage who looked about 15 but he said was 46 (she either uses amazing face cream or she was lying about her age, I suspect the latter), there was a younger girl whose brother had mentioned marrige to Nils which made him run a mile and there was another wive/ girlfriend plus a previous wive and a daughter in Denmark. I imagine if we had met earlier in the evening that we could have gotten to the bottom of the story. By the way Nils was by no means "hot" just loaded apparently?!
In the meantime the husband of the other lady (who actually looked like she could have once been a
Big Flipflops
The only people I could imagine fitting into these would be Liam or Ben man and certainly sang like it) came along and started chatting to Nils. He wanted to get into an online business of some description and when I mentioned that I had worked in technology (big mistake) he said that he wanted some knowledge from me of how to set up his business. I said that I didn't know (I was trying to get Joff's attention but he was too involved with hearing about Nils' 9 wives), so this guy went on to tell me about the political unrest in Malaysia, the extremists and how I should write about it in the blog to get the word out there. He wants the world to know, how repressed the poor in his nation were. I didn't have the heart to tell him that there isn't a massive subscriber list to this blog, so I doubted that writing it would make a difference. Of course I got stuck with him, Joff was quite happy talking to Nils about his 9 wives oblivious to this guy going on in my ear.
We spent the following day doing round the sites in Melaka including the famed Straits, whilst trying to find a calling card
so that I could phone the UK to get my cashcard unblocked. Seemingly I am totally inept at using online banking (and foreign phone cards) and have suffered the consiquences as a result. The sights were a real mix which really reflected the history of the city as well as the future direction in which it was heading. There is a massive Portuguese and Dutch influence with shuttered windows and a real colonial feel. In addition to this there are obvious Malay and Indian influences. This all represents the present. They are currently building huge hotels and fancy malls for the rich weekend tourists to spend their cash which is somewhat comical next to a shop ran by a very obvious crossdresser and an open sewer. Bizarre but intriguing Melaka is certainly worth a visit but I don't ever think as an outsider you will ever understand what the place is all about!!
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