Laos

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Our time in Vietnam had to come to an end, and it was off to the last country of our travelling adventure, Laos. We left Hanoi on what would apparently be our worst journey yet. Crossing over into Laos via the worst border - a ‘set menu from hell’ were the words the lonely planet used. This did not fill us with a great deal of confidence! The journey would take 24 hours plus. After an hour or so, the bus broke down at the side of the road, 8-10 locals seemed to appear from no where and pulled up small stools to watch the bus getting fixed - all looking on as if it were something remotely interesting!

We initially left Hanoi at 5pm, and arrived at 2am in an unknown location, waited there for a while, until we saw a bus almost leaving with ‘Vientiane’ written in small letters on the front. As we were about to board the bus, we looked around for the under compartment where we’d be putting our bags and the locals all began to laugh at us; there was no space for them whatsoever, even the centre isle of the bus was packed to the brim. They eventually got dumped somewhere towards the front of the middle isle on top of various sacks of potatoes, and we had to climb over people, food, luggage, to reach a gap right at the back (where the other westerners were dumped) to the last two seats available. We climbed onto a mound of stuff, which almost reached the roof of the bus and slid down bums first, then had to adjust our legs to squeeze in - it was a joke! Then some of the overspill of locals with no tickets (do any of them have tickets?) tied some makeshift hammocks from one side of the isle to the other and were hanging from the roof of the bus. As we got going they were swinging back and forth and knocking people on the head with each swing! Meanwhile we were packed in like sardines, with sacks of potatoes for footrests and backpacks constantly falling on our heads! We knew we’d be sitting like this for the next 20 hours.

At some point in the middle of the night, the bus came to a halt, the ignition turned off and there was silence. We had no idea where we were or what was happening, no body moved and there wasn’t a sound. Pitch black on the coach and pitch black outside through the windows, but more importantly the air con had been switched off and it was getting airless. Feeling claustrophobic, Kev jumped out from his hole and off the bus to stretch his legs and investigate. After a quick walk around it was clear we were at the border waiting for it to open, although we had to wait around 3 hours. Finally it opened and we got out to start the circus act.

We came to a list of countries, how much you had to pay or pay at all depending where you are from; naturally England had to pay out top dollar. We hung around for hours with the odd shout at us from a window. Locals came and went and we Westerners stood like a lost pack of dogs waiting to be set free. We then had to walk to the Laos side of the border crossing, and eventually reunited with our bus, and it was back to balancing backpacks on our heads and burying our feet deep into the potatoes for the second and most torturous part of the journey. The driver decided to stop every (with NO exaggeration) 5-10 minutes, and we had no idea why - mainly when he wanted to sleep, fart, S*it, urinate, vomit, eat etc. Our driver was tired (bless him) so he jumped into one of the hammocks dangling from the roof and had a nap. There was a change of driver, and unfortunately the new driver could not move the bus out of second gear! We continued in second gear for nearly an hour, crawling at around 15-20 kms an hour, surprisingly the engine didn’t blow up! The bus kept smoking and they would all get out, look at the side of the bus, and then carry on.

After a while the original driver jumped back out of the hammock and took the wheel once again. However, and to our horror, we watched in his mirror how his eyes kept closing and on 2-3 occasions he nodded off for a second whilst we were driving!! Luckily the bounce of his head dropping to his chest woke him back up again! We had no proper toilet stops and no food stops at all. We got to go to the loo once in the whole trip - on the side of the road - everyone next to each other. We were all starving, at which point the driver & locals got off and shifted loads of food off the bus, and proceeded to cook on the side of the road for themselves and themselves only, and eat a feast - meanwhile westerners were left without anything to eat. After an hour or so they got back on the bus where we were waiting, and carried on with the starting and stopping charade. This was like some form of comedy and it was easy to think that maybe we were on some kind of hidden camera wind up TV show! The circus went on for a whole day until we miraculously arrived in Vientiane, in utter delight!!!!!

On all tourist/backpacker buses we had taken in Asia, there was always without doubt a crazy 5 minutes when you step of the bus at the destination. Guesthouses & hotel touts literally verbally attack you shoving laminates of their respective accommodations in your face! Tuk-tuk and taxi drivers fight for your business, shouting and screaming and it’s as if for a few minutes we are at some mad cattle market!! You step of the bus and brace yourself for the few minutes of madness that is to follow. Stepping of the bus in Laos was a complete different experience, there were no overly aggressive accommodation touts and the tuk-tuk drivers where more than happy for you to come and find them and tell them where you wanted to go. As little and insignificant as this sounds, it was nice to actually arrive in a country and not have x amount of people instantly trying to depart you from your money.

We found accommodation on a quiet road in central Vientiane, having not eaten for near 24 hours; food was obviously our first priority! Lonely Planet recommended a nice Italian on the next road from our guesthouse, so we thought we would give it a go. Sweating and stinking from our 24-hour bus trip, we walked through the Italian restaurant doors and saw a beautifully decorated restaurant; meanwhile we were stood at the door looking like something that cat had dragged in! Our bellies were rumbling and we enjoyed an amazing meal, and reasonably priced too.

Laos is renowned for its fabulous coffee, French bakeries and cafes. So we started the next day with a huge baguette and cake lunch, after which we hired bicycles so we could cycle around Vientiane for the day. Our first port of call was to cycle along the busy main road up to the Patuxai tower - Vientiane’s most prominent monument. After locking our bikes up we were asked to help some very friendly local Lao students with a tourism questionnaire of their country and to have our picture taken with each of them. We then climbed the stairs of the tower for great views over the city. The rest of the day we cycled around, visiting around 6 Wats, various architecture including the US embassy, ‘That Dam’ - one of Vientiane’s oldest Buddhist stupas, and some of the city’s points of interest. Walking around one Wat, we were approached by a very welcoming and friendly Buddhist Monk who took the time to speak to us in great depth. He was reading ‘The power of thinking big’ and Holly was particularly fascinated by the monks in Laos - to be directly approached was a surprise, as elsewhere we’d been in Asia they rarely make eye contact. One very young monk in the monument earlier that day had laughed at Holly struggling to keep her breath up all the flights of stair to the top! Cycling around the city, and at every stop we made the Lao people were so friendly and helpful, Kev in particular remembering a family of 3 balanced on a motorbike shouting a big ‘Sabai-dii!’ (hello) and all smiling as they drove past. We had a great time cycling around Vientiane taking in the sights, and finished our day on a very peaceful relaxed local bar, sitting on floor mats next to the Mekong River, enjoying our first cold ‘Beerlaos’.

The following morning we headed north on a 3-4 hour bus journey to Vang Vieng. Most of Vang Vieng’s backpacker restaurants consist of no chairs but low tables complemented by cushions to lay on and not forgetting the sound of ‘Friends’ on constant repeat blaring out from TV sets. The following morning we woke to a torrential downpour, which eventually gave in and allowed for us to head to the Nam Song River to go ‘tubing’ - which is basically floating down a river on a large tractor tyre, the same as we did in Fiji. Jumping in the tuk-tuk with our rings on the roof we head to the starting point for tubing. Around 6 bars with blaring music line the river at the starting point for the tubing, all of which have some form of death trap swing/zip wire or slide! We had previously heard many horror stories of broken bones and even death from letting go of the rope swing or zip wire too early and landing on the shallow rocks which are hidden by the water.

A guy we met tells us how the previous week he and a few friends had jumped in the water after seeing a girl fall off the rope swing head first into the water. She eventually came to the surface bobbing up and down face down in the water, they dragged her out of the water and somehow she lived to tell the tale. Obviously the rope swings and slides are to use at your own risk, they are safe enough to use as long as you’re sober! Most of the stories of broken bones and injuries are self-inflicted as a result of too much alcohol! No sympathy there! We both had a go each on one of the rope swings and everything was fine. After a couple of drinks and jumping around in a huge mud pit at the side of the river, it was time to ‘tube’ down the river back into town before it got dark. It took around an hour to float back into the village, we passed some amazing, dramatic scenery and the river was completely quiet and isolated. Other than another couple on the river, we didn’t see anyone else and the journey down the river was very peaceful. The following day we hired bikes and cycled around Vang Vieng for the afternoon taking in some stunning views of the Nam Song river and backdrop of Vang Vieng, as well as some beautiful Wats.

After a few days in Vang Vieng we continued our journey north to Luang Prabang. The journey took around 9-10 hours - most of that time spent on roads built high into the mountains for some beautiful scenery and back down to the Mekong River at Luang Prabang. After finding a guesthouse to stay in Luang Prabang, we head out to the quiet and peaceful night market full of clothing, bags, gifts and Lao themed products. We also tasted the street food - barbequed chicken breast & whole plate of food for less than £1.50!! Holly thinks it is the best chicken breast she has ever tasted!! We ate the street food religiously for the next 4 nights!! The following day we jumped in a tuk-tuk and headed to Kuang Si waterfall, a 45-minute drive from central Luang Prabang. On arrival to the bottom of the waterfall we are greeted by stunning aqua coloured ponds and small lakes. After to speaking to other travellers we learn it’s the top of the waterfall and its pods where the money shots are! We trek a very difficult, almost vertical, route up the steep side of the waterfall, over the top and then descend slightly to the main section of the upper waterfall. We stand under, jump into and swim in the upper section pod of the waterfall for several hours. There was also a natural u-shaped rope swing hanging around 2 metres off of the ground, of which Kev wanted to stand on. After asking two fellow backpackers for a lift up onto the bottom of the rope swing, getting positioned was a different matter! A few Japanese tourists proceeded in taking pictures, laughing and pointing at Kev as he awkwardly tried to manoeuvre his frame up onto the swing! After descending back down the other side of the waterfall we visited a bear sanctuary with large amounts of land for them to run around, climb about and be as ‘free’ as they can. Luckily two bears decided to put a show for us on, and wrestled around biting each other and playing happily.

The bicycles were out again the next day for a tour of Luang Prabang. After cycling around the perimeter of the Royal palace grounds we see a woman with a small stool with thatched tiny cages - like miniature birdcages. On closer inspection - they are just that. Small tiny birds were squashed into little cages; the woman tells us we can release them for ‘good luck’. We give her around 30,000 kip (around £2.50) so we can release two birds from the cages. Holly is horrified to look at her cage to see a bird going crazy, pecking like mad to escape from his cage. The bird’s nose was completely blooded from its attempts to escape. We feel slightly better we paid for a few to be released in to the open and watch them fly off. We feel like paying for the whole 30 or so birds to be released, but one, we couldn’t afford to, and two, the woman would have been back with loads more the next day, pretty sad. We continue to cycle around Luang Prabang, on a visit to one Wat, two locals kids jump on Kev’s bike for a short ride. The same children then dangle from the roof bars upside down on the back of a jeep, giggling the whole time, playing up to the camera!

Our original plans after travelling Laos were to head back into Thailand and up to Chang Mai to do some elephant trekking. We were both concerned and didn’t want to do the trekking at a place where they might be mistreated (as per stories we had been hearing about Chiang Mai from other travellers). We came across a shop in Luang Prabang called ‘Elephant Village’ where they have a huge village an hour or so away where elephants rescued from logging are cared for. After looking at some literature, and having a chat with the staff (no hard sale needed) we decide it looked like a great place to do the trekking. On arrival at the elephant village we are given the stories of each individual elephant and how they have come to where they are. Most of the elephants were ex-logging elephants pulling up to 2-3 tonnes of tree behind them for up to 20 hours a day. We also learned that some elephants during their logging days had been force-fed drugs such as ecstasy so they could continue pulling trees for long periods.

Most of the elephants at elephant village had some form of scar, tear of injury from their dreadful logging days. Before we went trekking we also questioned whether it was right for tourists to ride on the back of elephants. We were put at ease when told that having approx 200kg of human on the elephants back was barely noticeable for the elephant as opposed to pulling 2-3 tonnes for 20 hours a day. The elephants only worked for four hours a day, and just like humans need to exercise to keep fit, this was the same principle for the elephants, and in fact if they didn’t, they wouldn’t survive. First we met the elephants, then boarded the seat on the elephants back and trekked into the jungle and down into and through a river. Our elephant, amazingly, was completely blind and navigated its way by touch of her trunk and commands from the ‘Mahout’. Each elephant has a ‘Mahout’, this is basically the elephant’s owner & carer who always work with the same elephant to maintain the relationship and trust between the human and elephant. With simple commands, light touches, and sounds, the elephant knew whether to turn left, right, stop, start - not a stick in sight!
After trekking for around 45 minutes we returned to the village to feed the elephants, had lunch ourselves and then had the chance to try and be the mahout! One thing we learned are that the only people the elephants listen to are the real Mahouts! Holly’s elephant decided to walk into a tree and hunt for food rather than listen to her! In the afternoon we all jumped individually, straight onto the back of an elephant and headed down into the river to fully submerge and bathe the elephants with brushes! This was most enjoyable and Holly, reunited with her blind elephant, took the job of cleaning her very seriously! After thanking and saying goodbye to the elephants, we made a quick trip by longboat down a river to another waterfall and then returned to Elephant village to depart. A great day.

After changing our plans and deciding to leave out visiting Chang Mai in Thailand, we started the journey back down to Vientiane and onto Bangkok - we had started our journey home back to England! Nooooo!

The bus journey from Luang Prabang to Vientiane was made slightly eventful when we looked to our right and saw two huge gun/rifles sitting on the seats next to us!! A bit panicky at first we were told by someone on the bus they were for ‘security’. Who’s security?! Ours or theirs?!?!? The guns were soon chucked up into the overhead luggage storage and the two guys moved to the back of the bus. Looking out the window we started to see lots of men holding huge rifles on the side of the road, and sat under trees. We passed a small hill village where everyone seemed to be huddled into a group, and there were armed men either side, and one speaking to them? We had no idea what was going on…this road used to be renowned for trouble with rebels, robberies and a few years ago 2 tourists were shot on a bus. Nowadays though, it has been re-opened for a while and deemed by the government as safe. After a few hours Kev swapped seats to stretch out. An hour or so away from our destination, Vientiane, the two guys had retrieved the guns from overhead storage and were now for some reason standing up behind Kev’s chair. Kev got lost in his own thoughts thinking they were about to die, be kidnapped, robbed or shot at any second!! Were these his last seconds of life?!?! Taking a glance over at Holly - she was a world away from Kev’s thoughts, completely engrossed in a Martina Cole novel!! Needless to say, we didn’t die!

We both absolutely fell in love with Laos; the people, the scenery, the atmosphere, it’s unspoilt nature - everything. It was without doubt the highlight of Asia and one of the top highlights of our whole trip.

We eventually returned to Bangkok and spent the last few days hunting for some souvenirs and generally thinking about our time away. And so it was, 6 months of travelling over, we have had an absolutely incredible time away and are so lucky to have shared all our experiences together. 1st July, 00:45am, Bangkok to London Heathrow…

Our adventure has come to an end…until next time!!

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