Not in quake territory yet!

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Hi there badgers!

Blog time again - now in Vientiane. Happy to report that Slime has stopped scratching (he's now sniffing instead - caught a cold from the fan in our room!) - hence you're hearing from me again (sigh) - Slime only busts out when he gets attacked by wild creatures (so here's hoping he never blogs again!)

It's been donkeys since i last scribbled so I'm going to have to limit this here tale to the key events else it will be dark by the time i finish and i won't get to sweat myself to death on the baking streets of Vientiane... hloy balls it is SO hot here - think it's the hottest place i've ever been (Mrs. P - you'd be stoked!) We arrived 2 days ago in time for the infamous boat races - end of the rain festivities are a super big deal here in Laos - SOOO many peeps - kiddies, moms, pops, grand-dads and super grand-dads plus the wobbling grannies all party it up for 3 days - mental - we rocked the river most of yesterday, watching all the madness go donw - felt like i was sitting in an oven - quite something to see though. It's a bit like dragon boat racing but peeps come from all over - Thailand, China, Burma etc - and paddle to the death!! The night before there were loads of fireworks plus these mini candle 'shrines' that everyone sends done the river for good luck - looked super pretty!

So... after the jungle adventures and caterpillar munching we headed further North stopping in Chiang Rai, Chiang Saen and finally Chiang Khong. There was obvious madness along the way - met this super crazy bet in Chiang Saen (tiny little town on the river right by Golden Triangle - we were the only white folk there!) We were having a meandour along the river when we bypassed this massage spot - right on the river. I decided to bight the bullet and go for it - FOOLISH! figured a sun-downer massage really couldn't hurt but boo for me - think i pissed off the old betty who was about to head home for the eve - thought she was going to break me!! And then came Tan - shucks she was a right nutter but jolly god fun - she was the owner of the massage jol - spied Sime drinking a beer by the river and ran off to buy us more - next thing i knew she had my head propped up and was funnelling beer down my gullet while the grumpy old mums beat me half to death!! Tan proceeded to buy us copious amounts of beer and take us out to dinner - what a lovely lady -she almost paid for my massage too!

Next stop was Chiang Khong - we had good fun there - stayed in an awesome little pad right on the river which is where we met Slifon (could be Sifon) but she spoke exactly like Sid from Ice Age so SLifon it was!! She was sluper friendly though and even gave us free cake - damn i was SO excited - haven't had cake in MONTHS! (I have managed to track down raisins though so all is right with my world!) It was then slow boat time - 2days chugging down the river on the hardest 'seat' in the universe - we spent the final 2 hours standing! We stayed over in this hell hole - Pak Beng - trying quite hard to forget about that place so best i don't type (many a giant bug and kids on crack - awesome!) Day 2 was better - we had a pimped out boat which had aeroplane seats and little kids that would jump on board and sell you Beerlao - quite strange!! Super long journey though - 8 hours that day - even picked up some chickens, geese and turkeys which got to party it up on the roof - one duck escaped (Marvin) - caused quite a scene - had the whole boat cheering him on while he swam circles round the Laos dudes in their boat who were trying to catch him - in the end they gave up and so right now Marvin be living it up in the remote jungles of Northern Laos.

We finally arrived in Luang Prubang - small town but good fun. Many a temple and monks charging round - we got up at 6 one morn to watch them collect their alms - nothing like a spot of sticky rice to keep you going - was quite special to see though. It was also the spot where we met Dan - travelling pommie. We shared a tuk tuk with him to this one waterfall - pretty epic waterfall at that plus there were MOON BEARS - shit i was excited! Having been so impressed by the waterfall (and the moon bears!) we decided to check out another one the next day - i decided it would be a good idea to hire some bicycles though as it was only 15kms or so away...UP MOUNTAINS!! Poor Dan was super hungover from the eve before - thought the lad was going to peg it! Still - I'm glad we did it - pedalling through (and up) mountains and rice paddies - past water buffalo and many a beaut bovine was just dandy! The waterfall was no where close as cool as the first one but ho hum - good day out none the less...i know Slime is gagging to do it again!

This is getting far too long and the chap alongside me is packing quite some tang so I'm going to rush the next (just realised the Sime is sitting next to me too - will have to check him for tang later!!) From Luang Prubang we caught the minibus of death to Vang Vieng! Damn - not sure how the whole bus wasn't throwing cats - you literally drive in circles for 5 hours and then bam - suddenly you're in Vang Vieng! Plus the mini bus driver has got some major balls - almost killed us 3 times overtaking numerous giant trucks on the endless blind corners and then looking back to his petrified passengers with a giant grin chuckling at how close that was! We made it though and Vang Vieng was awesome...i did have a few reservations as it's literally a party town jam-packed with 'falang' like me and Sime (white folk) who are often rude drunk and disorderly but shucks we sure had some fun. Embarked on the infamous tubing madness the next day - it's literally a tubing pub crawl where you float downstream (surrounded by giant karst mountains) and folk throw you a rope, haul you in and feed you beer and free shots!! Plus there are giant swings, zip lines and slides not to mention mud volley ball and free barbeques! It's completely nuts - even more so thanks to Bruno the crazy Brazilian and Steve the strange Scot who we met right at the start. Bruno (super name!)was awesome - crackers but awesome - he must have gone on each swing/slide about 6 times. Sime and I also braved most of them (Sime more so than me) - we even braved one zip line at the same time (like i said before - min health and safety - feed these stoopid westerners copious amounts of alcohol and watch them bleed!) ... needless to say, we ended up late and Sime had to be rescued out of the river by a little girl!! (don't fret Mrs. P - he was fine - it was just getting dark and Sime was merrily floating downstream - high 5's to the trusty 5 year old who tugged him to shore!) Best fun we've had in donkeys - if Sime wasn't covered head to toe in bruises we would have done it all over again! Instead I rented us more bikes and we headed off to explore caves and lagoons on day 2!

Right I'm done - i will really try harder to update this more often so it doesn't end up being such a giant essay! Sime is trying his darn hardest to upload pics as we speak but he's looking rather angry so i fear it may be yet another no-go! We'll keep trying though. We're off to see loads of Buddhas etc in the Buddha Park today and tomorrow we head for Tha Khaek where we will embark on our massive 4 day scooter mission around central Laos!! YIKES! (we have bought helmets - Sime's doesn't fit but it was the biggest size they had!) We also have a new number but not sure how well it works - 0207943600 plus sneaky codes?? if you get amped!

Hope you're all having whales of a time...missing you all beastly and sending many a fat squeeze!
Lots of love eM, Slime, Gary, Hank and Funcan xxx

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Comments

[Folks back home]

Wonky phone number
Hi guys - so good to hear from you again. Have tried to SMS and phone your new #, but just says it's incorrect. So dunno what gives there. But anyhoo very glad you're still having a ball - tho living on the edge by the sounds of it!! Sure you get reports there on where to stay away from, but according to an article in our paper Padang on Sumatra Island is next - 100% likely! So do a detour around there okay. Beeg hugs and xxxx from home