Benpi is the sh*ts. Well, I wish. What's a girl gotta do to have a poo?

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Five more days and I'll have finally arrived in Nagoya! I'll be able to move into my apartment and have some nice, wonderful, completely underappreciated ALONE time. Before this trip I didn't realize how much I took for granted having time and space to myself. I always thought it was a rule to take your time when drinking coffee (at least an hour), but that doesn't seem to be a universal understanding. People here can slurp it down in seconds while it's still boiling hot.

I'm also excited to decorate but it's come to my attention that I have to buy a butt load of things. Hoping that JASSO covers it all!

Still being fed WAYYY too much. I'm also super "benpi" (exit pipes aren't working), so I look at least three months pregnant. The horror of it all hit me in the face this morning. I'm going to have to buy extremely baggy clothing. Don't need people suspecting I'm a floozy when all I really have is stubborn bowels. Can't wait to exercise again and go back to my normal diet!

Japan is obsessed with "kawaii" (cuteness). Sometimes I understand it and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I love it and sometimes I want to punch it in the face. Babies, and baby animals=super kawaii. This for me is a given. Everyone knows that. But in Japan, grown women are also expected to be "kawaii". Hence I've been encouraged to strive for my own personal kawaii by many Japanese women. However, this seems to entail presenting myself as a 12 yr. old, pre-pubescent child. Too bad I hit puberty when I was 11! Had curves ever since. I feel like the giantest curve in a land of extremely straight lines. It's straightness that's coveted. Women, and even most men, appear as if they haven't eaten in years. Some days I catch myself wondering how their bodies function. How can those tiny calves actually propel their bodies forward? Could a strong windbreak them in two? I know I will never be like this no matter how hard I try. I haven't been their size since I was 8! Most women here prefer to be 90 lbs or lighter. 100 is the magic #. Anything below is golden, and anything above is considered overweight. According to Japanese standards I have to lose an entire half a person to be normal size. Some women go so far as to carry mini scales in their purses and take to weighing themselves after every meal, even when they are at a restaurant! It was on TV for heaven's sake! If you think women in America have poor body images and are being harrassed by the media to be thinner, come to Japan! In Japanese magazines they rate American actresses bodies. One I saw deemed Paris Hilton, Kesha, and Liv Tyler fat. Everyone complains about how fat they are and how they need to lose weight when they would already be considered underweight in America. I keep thinking, if these people are "fat", then omg I must literally be OBEASTLY! Of course after declaring this they shove more cake down my throat. I've about had it with cake. I just want vegetables! But no one wants to give me vegetables!

Cake is the ultimate welcome for guests in Japan. Sinc everyone wants to meet me, everyone brings cake. Then we have to sit and eat cake for hours. My lunch yesterday...cake. I want to punch cake in the face. It is taking me even futher away from the Japanese norm, but people keep insisting that I eat it.

My friend's mother's friend came yesterday. She declared that I looked just like Julia Roberts and then proceeded to take many pictures of me. She then had my friend print them out. How embarrassing. My friend asked which pictures she would like and the lady told her she would like a picture of Maggie, alone with a chocolate parfait. There were many pictures of my friend she could have printed as well...but no. Maggie, with the cake. So kawaii neeeeee?! Strangely, my fatness progression is being documented by women who think I'm cute. Are they tring to make me fat on purpose? Haven't a clue, but they like to take pictures of it. Do they assume I'm immune to fatness? I don't think so. But I've also come to learn that many Japanese women associate being fat with having a wide face. Having a wide face is of course normal Asian genetics. According to my friend, Asians show weight gain primarily in the face and Westerners don't. Therefore, even though a Westerner may be much larger overall, their face appears smaller, and Japanese don't automatically categorize them as fat. For heaven's sake though I count the times on one hand that I've had an actual bowel movement in the past month. (That would be 3 times people). Sometimes I marvel at the fact that I'm actually alive. And I've gained nearly 8 pounds! Probably more since I last weighed myself. But when I share this information all i get is "Don't worry Maggie, you can walk a lot. You aren't fat." WHAT?! Please somebody listen to me!

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