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Published: September 16th 2008
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So you may have gotten the sense that we didn’t like Japan much. Ok, well for that you win the game. We can’t believe it either. We were both seriously looking forward to the place - everyone we know who has been has claimed to love it. So we are devastated, and never mind the cost of it.
Having liberated ourselves from Cathay ‘I’d skip that if I were you’ Pacific, we entered Narita International Airport Terminal 2. If an airport sets the tone for a holiday, then we were pretty much screwed from the get go. Firstly, unlike our fine friends in Hong Kong, Japan appears to not just not like air conditioning, but has in fact never heard of it. Secondly, Narita is a miserable place - a 1970esque nightmare of décor coupled with the worst immigration queues of all time, and a constant high-pitched Japanese woman squeaking “Welcome to Japan” over and over and over. It’s like being inside a hot Kmart Radio speaker. Argh.
So it wasn’t that there wasn’t anything to do or see or what have you, it just mostly didn’t do it for us. Tori suspects that she would prefer Kyoto. Given
however that Tokyo was a bit of a bust she isn’t in a hurry to bother testing the theory. We are not going to give you a blow-by-blow account of Tokyo - it’s the sort of thing you will have to quiz us on when we get home. Basically, it wasn’t anywhere near as interesting as we expected. That being said - there are some individual positives that we will mention in brief. These things we did like/enjoy and would recommend to anyone travelling to Tokyo - however if you ask us if we recommend you travel to Tokyo - the answer is no.
Mt Fuji and Lake Ashi - Ok, so these are not technically Tokyo (Hmmm, maybe that’s why we liked them). We did a day trip out to the iconic mountain and it was pretty neat. It is everything you expect it to be, except for the minor detail that, due to bad planning (i.e. global warming), poor old Mt Fuji hasn’t had snow on it during summer for about a decade. This never used to be the case - it was cold and snowy and picturesque all year round. It was summer when we saw
it, so our visions of ‘snow-capping’ was reduced to a small slick of muck down one side, but it is still an impressive sight - assuming you can see it through all the clouds. Lake Ashi is at the base of Mt Fuji on one side, and we got to do a little cruise on it. It is a very pretty lake; imagine Canada scale and beauty and you have got an idea.
Toy stores - This is something that the Japanese do very well. We loved the toy stores that we visited in Tokyo - they are crammed full of all sorts of plastic (and plushie) joy. We were particularly impressed with an entire level of one of the stores which is devoted entirely to Snoopy. That was cool. We even bought something in one of the stores that exceeded every expectation we had of Japan, nay our whole holiday. We can’t tell you what it is, because it will ruin it for someone particular at home; so when we get back, ask us, and we’ll show you - it is awesome.
Stationary stores - Yes, they do this well too - and it appears to be
high on everyone’s lists of how to spend a Sunday afternoon - shop for cute little erasers, achingly delicate paper, beautiful pens and quirky stickers. If we had an unlimited budget we would have stocked up - but sadly, like all of Tokyo these things come with severely limiting price tags.
Get some sushi into ya - Ok, so given our Japanese is limited to about three words - and even then, these are hazy at best, it is fair to say that it is difficult to interact - this is not a people that by and large have embraced English, and why should they? However, having little knowledge of what we were getting ourselves into was hardly enough to stop our hunger pains nor our desire to eat sushi in Japan - it seems like the thing to do. So, we found a friendly enough place (don’t ask us what it was called - we will never know the answer to that) and enjoyed a feast of freshly made sushi, which not only put the variety of choices to shame at home, but also showed off the technical prowess of the sushi chef - a very particular breed
of man, recognisable by a) the uniform, b) a tendency to yell loudly at random which will in turn produce a chorus of equally enthusiastic yells of agreement from other sushi chefs within a 40 mile radius, and finally, c) a disturbing level of comfort and familiarity around very large knives.
Sushi was a baptism of fire for us. Thankfully there were pictures and our personal sushi chef was more amused than annoyed that we couldn’t speak a word of his native tongue. We think he was just pleased that we happily ate everything we received, ordered more of it, drank heaps and paid without questioning the bill. Happy customers in any language. The pictures were incredibly helpful, as were (limited) English subtitles - we were particularly pleased that they had made the effort to point out which was the whale, so that we could avoid it - very similar to tuna in colour, but more visibly fatty. So, a method of pointing with gay abandon at things that looked tasty and then poking at them sceptically with a chopstick, before swallowing them (praying that they weren’t endangered) and nodding and thumbs upping our chef developed quickly and proved
to work well.
No doubt, every person we know who had been to Tokyo will now highlight the other ‘amazing’ things that are available to do there and that we missed out on a lot. We may have, but it seems unlikely - we did do all the stuff that is recommended; including making a visit to the bustling nightlife of Roppongi, which, given our aversion to anything other than staying at home after about 5pm is a big deal but it all just didn’t do it for us. Tori thinks it would have been more exciting if there had been an earthquake.
Now, before we end this post, Andrew wants to acknowledge what he considers to be a particular highlight of Tokyo, which, truth be told is rather silly - a burger. Andrew is convinced that this burger may even proportionally be larger than the average Japanese person, however this may be warped due to the fact every person is small by Andrew standards. Japan McDonald’s offers the ultimate in Big Mac experiences - the Mega Mac. The Mega Mac is a testament to culinary engineering and high calories - basically, imagine you had a Big Mac,
and then, minus the bun, inserted another Big Mac into it. Brilliant. It is fundamentally the same as what happens when Andrew meets a McChicken and a Cheeseburger. (Oh yes, it does happen). Due to Andrew’s previous hybrid experimentation with McDonald’s cuisine, he found the Mega Mac particularly impressive - and for that reason alone, Andrew is glad he went to Japan.
So, awaking seriously early on Monday 14th July we departed Japan, via the packed-full-of-jam Metro, and then the sleepy hour odd trip on the Narita express. Of course the experience wasn’t over until Andrew had consumed two McGriddle’s (Tori didn’t like hers - can you guess why - a Bacon and Egg McMuffin - no scratch that, a scone soaked in Maple Syrup - Hmmmm?) at the airport and a long queue for the most painful of all experiences - checking into a flight with British Airways (Their slogan “We don’t want your physical presence - only your money”). We arrived at London Heathrow, 11 long hours and one trip over the Arctic circle later, only to be faced with a two hour drive North to the West Midlands. By the time we did rest our weary
heads, we had been awake on Monday the 14th for more than 26 hours (take that timezones!) and were very happy to be in a country of English speakers. For now...
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