How Japanese Am I? Vol. 2

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I’m closing in on 10 months in Japan, and obviously there have been cultural differences that I’ve become quite adjusted to. So much so that I’m already dreading the inevitable reverse-Culture Shock when I come back home to the States. That being said there are still things that I haven’t gotten used to yet, as well as things that I have taken a personal vow to NOT adapt to. Here’s an updated list:

Things I’ve gotten used to:
Holding my plate or bowl in my hand off the table. Better yet, putting my lips directly on the edge of said plate or bowl and shoveling food into my mouth. (Note: Not only is this NOT considered rude, but it’s considered a more polite way of eating. Having your bowl on the table and leaning over it for a bite is called “eating like a dog”.)
Squatter Toilets. While they aren’t my preferred facility, I am confident in my abilities to use one successfully in an emergency. You know you have become an expert when you don’t have to take your pants off entirely (which is what a lot of foreigners apparently do).
Driving on the left side of the road from the right side of the car. I don’t own a car here, but my girlfriend lets me drive hers at times.
Conversational Japanese.
Cursing at crazy drivers while riding my bike. Nothing feels better than to let off a profanity-laced tirade at someone who doesn’t understand a word.
Non-existent drunk driving. The severe punishment, in addition to numerous alternatives has been successful deterrents to this fatal issue.

Things I’m still not used to:
Being racially profiled, meaning people being afraid to sit next to me on the train. And I swear there’s a dog that only barks at me because I’m white. I’ve seen it calmly watch Japanese people go by, but as soon as it sees me, it goes into “WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE” mode.
Being laughed at by my students for the simple fact that I’m not Japanese. I’ve never thought that my mere presence in a room could invoke such snickering.
The school’s militaristic nature—more to come on this in my next blog entry.
Japanese washing machines. They come with 2 options: destroy your clothes, or don’t thoroughly clean them.
T-shirts, pencil cases, and hats with incomprehensible English writing on them. However, I do enjoy asking students if they understand the English on their pencil cases, and them replying “No”. My follow-up is “Why did you buy it?” to which they answer, “Because it’s cute/cool.”

Things I refuse to do, ever:
Wear a surgical mask. You would think that this is the hippest fashion based on the number of people who wear them. And given the swine-flu outbreak (which hasn’t really affected Japan), these silly accessories are becoming even more omnipresent.
Brush my teeth in the teacher’s room during school. After lunch, it is customary for the students and teachers to brush their teeth. I, however, find this ridiculous and refuse to do so.
Carry a small hand towel with me at all times. This one might eventually move into the “Things I’ve gotten used to” section by the time I leave. It sucks when you go into a public bathroom, wash your hands, and look up to find no paper towels. Then the guy next to you whips out his Pokemon hand towel to dry his hands. I refuse to get one, despite their convenience.

Things I miss from back home:
Family and friends
Decent coffee
Playing golf
Bars that you can tell are bars, and actually look like they want you come inside and spend money.
Having social interactions on a daily basis.
Breakfast restaurants/diners/weekend brunch
Deli sandwiches
Bagels and cream cheese

Things that I DON’T miss from back home:
Rude/stupid/uninterested customer service workers. Japan has totally ruined this for me.
Bickering between Republicans and Democrats. The Japanese hate all their politicians, and for good reason—corruption scandals are very frequent

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Photos

In Okinawa
Riding the escalator at the aquarium

Chowin down
In Okinawa