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Published: November 21st 2007
The next island on the Indonesian achipelago was the delightful Lombok. It was a five-hour ferry journey, and our ferry really should have been taken out of service in the 80's. It chugged along, spouting black smoke from it's chimney, and we were covered in flecks of black soot by the time we arrived. During the journey, the crew were casting fishing lines off the back as we sailed, to catch fish for sale in Lombok.
On the way from the ferry, our driver stopped off at a bird-singing competition. There were about 100 people gathered around a central judging area. There was a row of bird cages, numbered 1 to 24, with all the birds merrily chirping and cheeping inside. In front of the cages were a row of judges, absorbed in concentration as they judged these avian beauties. Each judge scores four birds simultaneously. The scoresheet has a row for each bird and columns numbered 10, 15, 20 and 25. Every time a bird makes a sound, he puts a tally against the appropriate score. Each column represents different score for a different type of chirp or cheep, and is also dependent on length of note. How on
intense concentration
A judge at the bird-singing competition. You can see the birds for the next round in the background, with hoods over the cages to stop them singingearth they could judge this is beyond me. When you have 24 birds making a huge racket, how can you possibly pick out and score individuals? Evidentally these guys can. Perhaps they look at the beaks to see which one is singing (I wonder if deaf birds can "beak read?")
Lombok has a few fundamental differences to Bali. Firstly, it is less visited and hence has less tourist infrastructure. The people are generally poorer and lead a more basic and rural existance. Indeed, one of the main forms of transport here is the humble horse and cart! Secondly, whereas Bali is predominantly Hindu, the people of Lombok follow the Islamic faith. This means huge mosques and being woken up once more by loudspeakers blaring the "calls to prayer" at 4am. But you need to respect the people here and their faith. Recently, a western girl had been wearing a skimpy top and showing a bit of leg, and the locals threw rocks at her.
The first village we stayed at was called Kuta, not to be confused with the abominable tourist trap on Bali. We were walking along the beach at dusk and were greeted by three local
the beach on "Kylie Minogue Island"
(the island is actually called Gili Meno) kids. The leader introduced himself as "Dollarman", and his sidekicks were "Chicken" and "Mushroom". They musy have been about ten years old. Dollarman asked us if we were interested if surfing, because he could arrange board hire. We declined, and he suggested motorboke hire which by coincincidence he could also arrange. He tracked us down again later and tried to sell us some T-shirts. He was the Del-Boy of Lombok. He should have had a yellow horse-drawn carriage with "Trotters Independent Traders" written on the side.
Whist in Indonesia I have noticed a couple of amusing translations and spellings which I thought I'd share with you
1. A sign said in Indonesian "Distance Yourself From Drugs!". The English translation was "Hide Drugs!"
2. A sign by a mountain saying "women in pregnance should not climb"
3. The word "crab" was unfortunately misspelt. I doubt if many people ordered the "deep-fried crap" or the "crap in garlic butter"
4. I'm sure that Roxanne and Message-in-a-Bottle were not sung by"The Polish"
5. A sign saying "Monkey Changer". I am assuming they meant Money Changer. Unless you really can go in and exchange two pygmy marmosets for a howler monkey
Lombok Wedding
the brides party march towards the husbands party, who are approaching from the east in a pincer movement One day we did a short hike to "Hello Village". This wasn't the real name of the village of course. The nickname comes from the dozens of kids who say hello to you. They pop up from behind walls, appear from alley and spring out from doorways saying Hello! Hello! Hello! They followed us as we went through the village, and we soon had an entourage of about twenty kids. This wasn't a village normally visited by tourists and so we were a star attraction and talk of the town. One of our group, Ian, had tattooes on his arms and the kids crowded around in amazement. Imogen showed them her pierced tongue and pierced bellybutton, and their faces were a picture!
On Lombok they have a hilarious way of getting engaged. There will be a spectacular fake kidnapping of the bride-to-be. Her clothes will secretly be taken somewhere, and then whilst out walking, she will be ambushed and "kidnapped" by a small group led by her suitor. She will pretend to kick and scream at her abductors, and will be whisked away to a secret location for a few days. Meanwhile, the parents will hear of the kidnapping,
giddy up!
horse and carts are abundant on Lombok and will furiously demand that the man marries the daughter to prevent further disgrace. The family will sometime mount a fake search party and ransack the village from top to bottom, coming home breathless and empty-handed. Eventually the young couple come home, and an agreement of marriage will be struck between the two families. Fun stuff, eh? One day we saw an actual wedding parade (post-kidnapping!). All the brides family start off from her house, and march along in a line. The women are at the front looking all lovely, and the men are at the back wearing matching outfits and banging drums. The bride is meant to look downcast and unhappy at the thought of leaving her father's house. Can you imagine trying to look unhappy when it's the happiest day of your life? This bride was struggling, it was quite comical to watch!Meanwhile the grooms family have a similar procession, but they start from his house. The idea is (I think) that they meet in the middle, although I am not sure what happens after that! The processions we saw had started from different villages, so there was a lot of distance for them to cover.
The
our adopted kitten
Meet Bintang. Don't let the cute furry face and little tongue deceive you. This kitten is cunning and greedy highlight of Lombok was a visit to the Gili Islands. "Gili" actually means "island", so everyone is actually calling them the "island islands". But they are widely known as the Gili Islands, so who am I to argue? We stayed on Gili Meno, which I christened "Kylie Minogue". It was paradise! We had beach huts about 10 metres from gorgeous sand and crystal clear blue waters.
Ian, Imogen and myself adopted a little kitten whilst on Kylie Minogue. She was a gorgeous little thing, and was affectionate all the time. Unlike most felines who are devious and self-centered, and only give affection when they want something. We named the kitten Bintang, after our favourite beer, and sneaked her scraps of food in serviettes after every meal. She was like our own kitten, she was always hanging out on our porch. But little did we know that she was moonlighting. As soon as we went out at night, she went on the prowl, in search of other people and other food. We spotted her seveal times - she was getting fed and cuddled all over town! We thought we were looking after her, but we were being used. She only
Lovely Lombok
crammed full of beautiful beaches and views wanted us for our food. It's the same the world over. Never trust a cat. Or a kitten. Ever.
There were a couple of women on the beach selling pineapples and offering people massages. I said no to both, and the massage lady said "maybe later?" This is a standard phrase on Lombok for anyone selling anything. If you reply yes, you are apparently committing and entering into a loose verbal contract! I said yes to "maybe later" and ended up having a massage under the shade of a tree on the beach. Thankfully it was a proper massage, unlike the one that I had in Ubud a week earlier. That masseuse had been a VERY NAUGHTY GIRL. I had been lying on my back, and whilst massaging my legs her hands kept wandering into my boxer shorts. Whilist there was no direct touching as such, there was plenty of brushing and it made me feel a bit uncomfortable because that was not what I was in there for! Apparently in Thailand they can be a bit more "hands on" so to speak, and it is called a "Happy Ending Massage". But this beach massage was excellent, with no
the red devil
there was no escape, and this scary transvestite serenaded me on my lap near-fondles in sight.
Next our group flew back to Bali, for one last night together before heading our separate ways. We went to a transvestite bar, where there was a show every night. I went to the toilet, and when I got back, there was only one seat left, next to the stage. Apparently they pick on the people near the stage, so I asked if anyone wanted to change seats with me. No-one would. The first act came on stage, and was a slim "lady" in a slinky cocktail dress. If you hadn't known, you would swear she was a woman. She was miming and dancing to a slow song, and dragged me on stage for a dance. I was like a fish out of water, treading on her toes and blushing. It's not like me to get embarrassed, but this did the trick. At the end of the song she sneakily planted a kiss on my lips, and I wiped my mouth and ran off the stage! The next act came on stage, and I started to plead with the others to let me swap places. Again, no-one would!! This act was not even a vague attempt
ladies and gentlemen
Imogen and I had our photos taken with them after the show. The blonde on the right was especially convincing to be female, she was massive, a scary full-on transvestite in a frilly red devil outfit. She reminded me of a character that Matt Lucas would play in Little Britain. She was singing "Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps" by Doris Day. She slowly headed towards the front of the stage, miming, trying to catch my eye. I suddenly found my bottle of beer very interesting and started studying the label intently. She slowly came down off the stage, pushed the table aside, put her arm around me and sat on my lap!! The spotlight swung over to us, and she was singing to me. Scary, but also quite funny this time. After this act, I moved to the bar at the back. This was a lucky move, because the next act was two ladies who brought another guy on stage, ripped his shirt off him and started kissing his chest! Lucky escape
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erictjie
erictjie
welcome
I have been following your blog, it is very interesting. Iam Indonesian living in Sydney. I would like to recommend you to go to Sulawesi- tanah Toraja to watch their unique funeral proccesion and go to Bira beach and also floating village in sulawesi as well, also go to Papua to see the primitive locals. I think you should try scubadiving too. how bout joinning 3 days cruise around Komodo island too. well too many places to go actually , please enjoy while your are there, but watch your belongings and don't trust them about money.