Our 1st Anniversary in Bali Blog

---

Right so we’ve had lengthy discussions about how this blog is going to be written, as you may or may not have noticed, we take turns blogging, and this time it’s my turn. However, it’s a big one, (fans of short and to the point blogs, may want to break this up into chapters, over the course of a few days) a lot happened and Verlie has lots to say, so how we are going to do it is like this: I’m going to write the blog, and Verlie is going to add paragraphs and sentences in italics ok got that? Right then………….

We booked our week long break what seemed like months and months ago, in fact it was only in August, but it was the longest 10 weeks of our lives. We’d both been working long hours, and although we had a few fantastic days in St Pete’s Beach, Florida, when we got married, we didn’t feel as though we’d really had a honeymoon. So our week in Bali was eagerly anticipated.
First and foremost we’d like to thank our very good mates Marc and Christie, quite literally the only people we’d trust to run the hostel for a week, they did a marvellous job, and it helped us relax a lot more knowing things would be looked after. We’ll forget about one of the guests streaking through the streets of Northbridge!
Our break began on Friday afternoon, after a mental day of showing Marc the ropes, we packed all our belongings up from our room. Which involved 2 large bags and umpteen Ikea bags of stuff and placing them into storage in order for our room to be painted whilst we were sunning ourselves he took us to the airport in the hostel mini-bus (how glam), we were one of the last to check-in and when we got to the desk, there were no seats together for us. We’d anticipated this of course, having had about an hour to think on it, while we stood in line at the check-in desk. So we had our well rehearsed plan in place before we were called up to the desk.

We walk up to the desk, hand in hand and handed over our passports and tickets

Check in Girl: I’m sorry as the flight is full, I’ve had to seat you separately
V: (all sad) But we are celebrating our 1st anniversary
M: We were hoping to sit together, so we could share a bottle of Champagne
Check in Girl: (all sympathetic) oh god, I’m sorry, let me see what I can do. (she calls over her supervisor) we don’t have any seats together and these two are on their 1st anniversary
Supervisor: oh how lovely,
V: We didn’t really get a honeymoon when we got married, we couldn’t really afford one
M: Yeah, this is the first chance we’ve had, we don’t want to start off our dream honeymoon by not sitting together
Supervisor: let me see what we can do (lengthy discussions and furious keyboard tapping for about 5 minutes) Ok, what we’ve done is upgraded you to Premium Economy, so you can sit together, we hope you have a lovely flight and enjoy your honeymoon.

M&V: Oh thank you so much (grins)

We walk away….High Five!

So our outbound flight was upgraded to Premium Economy. Not only that but the lovely Stewardess gave us a complimentary bottle of sparkling wine Mark unfortunately had to forfeit his second glass due to overzealous bubbles spilling on to the table (we couldn’t even buy a bottle of champers) The flight was a very comfortable pleasant 3 hours 20 mins. As we began our descent into Denpasar Airport we caught the tail end of a huge thunderstorm. Verlie had the window seat and was looking at the lightning going “wow, that looks amazing” and I was sitting there, ever the realist, thinking “yeah and if it hits us, we are all going to die”

Lets be honest about this though, the lightening wasn’t right outside it was far away, so we were unlikely to get struck. That’s the story I’m sticking to anyway, and it was beautiful.

As we came into land, I could see the rain, and I mean rain, like proper monsoon type rain, the type that soaks you through in about half a second, one rain drop can fill a bucket. I thought “this landing could be a bit dodgy” How right I was, turns out there was a good bit of surface water on the runway, the thunder and lightning was in full flow, as we slammed/touched down, it felt as if we were fish-tailing, maybe the pilot just liked to use the full width of the runway, I don’t know, but finally we started to slow down as the pilot got things back under control. In these situations, I always take my cues from the cabin crew. I’ve flown a lot, and have experienced some really bad turbulence and landings before now, but If the cabin crew continue to serve drinks and smile, I’m never too bothered. Our stewardess was sat facing us 2 rows in front, and she was absolutely bricking it, I could see it in her face, and then I could hear it in her voice, as once we’d started our taxi to the gate, she announced in the most relieved voice I’ve ever heard, “well ladies and gentlemen WE’VE LANDED!!!” Cue clapping and cheering from most passengers which normally I hate, and I wasn’t clapping of course, but I felt on this occasion at least, it was warranted.

We arrived at Denpasar Airport, and we were sold a scrap of paper for $25 that some serious looking person, informed us was a visa, what a swizz, as my old Nan used to say. We ploughed ahead like cattle, as you do in airports, to immigration where they looked into our passport to check that yes, we were, like everyone else gullible enough to pay $25 for a piece of paper and we were allowed in, (if everyone said, no bollocks, I’m not paying that, and they were without tourists for a day or two, they’d soon see sense, what do they spend that money on anyway? Certainly not the roads or housing (see a few paragraphs time) and so onto the baggage claim. Our backpacks came out very quickly and momentarily I was impressed with Balinese efficiency, until I picked up my backpack and found it soaked through, with about half my clothes wetter than a British bank holiday. Our backpacks are pretty good quality, and feature waterproof covers, which on account of us holidaying in a tropical paradise and with them being outside for about one minute of a 4 hour journey, I’d neglected to fit it…….

We breezed through customs, passed 10 tellers who’s exchange rate of 8500 rupia to the AUS dollar was far better than what we had received at the thieving airport, and were duly met by our driver from Tepi Sawah Villas. At least we thought it was our driver, but from the way he drove he may well have been an escaped mental patient. (if you are reading this and mentally ill……no offence intended)
It was still hammering down with rain, and we’d been warned by our friend and Bali regular Jos, that the roads can be, how shall I say it, a bit of a free for all.
Some Balinese highway code I picked up on the drive/white knuckle ride to our villa
.
1. Straddle the white lines at all times
2. At night in wet conditions, headlights are optional
3. Indicating is a capital offence
4. At no point should you drive or ride (mopeds outnumber cars about 10-1) through big puddles, if swerving violently in front of a 10 ton truck keeps you dry…..go for it
5. In traffic jams, if it helps you to get further forward feel free to create another lane of traffic by mounting the hard shoulder/gravel slope, or (for advanced drivers/total nut cases only) if you are still getting nowhere, it is perfectly acceptable to switch lanes and drive into oncoming traffic.
6. If you are in a car, mopeds are fair game and may be cut up/edged onto the central reservation as and when you wish to get past.
7. If you are riding a moped and get cut up by a car/bus/lorry…..unlucky
8. The minimum amount of people that can ride one moped is 2, the maximum is as many as you can fit (the most we saw was 4, Father riding, daughter sat on his lap facing him, mother on the back holding a baby)
9. Wearing a crash helmet is gay
10. Your tail light doesn’t have to be red, as long as there is a light there, ideally you should fit a headlight/torch to the back, that way you’ll have fun with the English tourists racing up behind you, because to them it will look like there’s about to be a head on, and they’ll shit themselves.

I am a nervous passenger at the best of times, and Mark is not exaggerating the above road rules at all. I love a good rollercoaster ride but this guy was taking the thrill seeker in me to a whole new level. Every time we came within a cigarette paper of a moped carrying a full family I would grab Marks hand and literally hold my breath. This was not entertaining for Mark who had permanent indentations of my finger nails in his hand for the full journey. Usually if rain is heavy you tend to slow down mindful that the surface water could make things slippery. Not this guy he was happy to put his foot to the floor and just see what happens! By this point the air conditioning was on full blast, not because it was hot and humid but because I was so nervous and feeling a little car sick unsurprisingly. Also, correct me if I’m wrong, when you drive through 2 foot of water when a road has flooded, is it not common sense to stop and test your breaks???? Apparently not after the 3 mini lakes we drove through, it’s startling we even made it to our tropical paradise at all!

The ride lasted about 45 minutes, and our driver kept looking at us and laughing at us, laughing at Balinese drivers, him in particular! After about a minute in the car he said “I can tell this is your first time in Bali………” we were laughing, but it was that hysterical, we are about to die let’s not panic kind of laugh. Eventually, thankfully, mercifully we arrived at the villa’s.

We’d researched online, mostly on tripadvisor.com places to stay in Bali. We’d picked Ubud, because it was in the centre of the island, away from the hustle and bustle of the capital with no 24 hour McDonalds or KFC which shockingly even deliver, and more Bali less tourist trap. Tepi Sawah Villa’s had really good reviews and we were not disappointed, the pictures don’t really do it justice, it was so peaceful, tranquil and relaxed.

The rain had by now stopped but we still had to wade through 3 inches of water to get to our villa, but it was worth it. Our villa had a huge bed, rose and lily petals everywhere, plasma TV DVD, mini bar (surprisingly reasonable at about £1 for a can of coke) and a far cry from our room at the backpackers hostel. It also had a nice little patio area to sit where you could, at night and for no extra charge, feed the mosquito’s.

Included in our room rate was a free breakfast, where you had a choice of American (eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit, toast) Continental (cereal, toast, fruit) or Indonesian (fried noodles) Mi Goreng is a popular Indonesian dish, which basically means fried noodles, (I think) and you can get it anytime, anywhere, for any meal.
There were only 8 villas which meant there would only ever be 16 people staying there. Most days we had the pool area to ourselves, sometimes we saw another couple. We sat by the pool most days sometimes for a couple hours after we had returned from Ubud town and just for 2 days we spent the whole day by the beautiful pool and read books and listened to music.

Also included in our room rate was a free shuttle into Ubud town itself where we ventured almost every day. Taking our lives in our hands as we strolled/dodged/climbed and dropped along what you could very loosely describe as “pavement” you have to look down when you walk along the streets of Ubud, lest you fall down one of the many gaps in the paving slabs, or you suddenly drop 5 feet where the heavy rains have washed away the sidewalk altogether, it’s tricky at best and the narrow width of the pavement, made it impossible to walk hand in hand, which was more than a bit annoying.

Ubud has a big market where you can buy all manner of things from penis shaped bottle openers (carved from wood, awesome workmanship, nearly bought one for Ben) to genuine Rolex watches (upon further investigation the seller admitted they were “a little bit fake” yes mate, and I’m “a little bit” overweight) to clothes, bags and locally made jewellery. The sellers will do anything to tempt you into their little stalls, one woman at a mens clothing stall grabbed my arm and said “King Kong…King Kong….We have King Kong size shirts for you” This is funny because A…It just is and B she thought that calling me King Kong would make me want to spend time and money at her stall….it didn’t. Some of the things we saw for sale there were amazing, the wood carvings especially were so intricate, and so cheap. Problem is Australian customs would rather you bring in 10KG’s of heroin than a wooden toothpick from overseas, something to do with wood boring insects potentially destroying the economy (is Gordon Brown a wood boring insect in disguise?........oooh oooh little bit of politics there ladies and gentlemen) so tempted as I was with some of the most amazing workmanship I’ve ever seen, I had to keep saying no.

I on the other hand was on a mission. During my time at the hostel many of our guests come over after they have travelled Bali, most of the girls spend their time in what can only be described as Aladdin Pants! Some girls had plain coloured ones and other bright cheerful and colourful, all though commented that they were indeed the most comfortable item of clothing they had ever owned. Wandering around the markets I had seen some plain black, purple or green pants or they were in a thin silk which wasn’t what I was after at all. Most of the girls had picked up their pretty bright Aladin pants in Thailand or Vietnam I was resigning myself to the fact after a couple of days of hunting that they just didn’t have any in Bali, I bought some beaded cuff bracelets instead.

On the subject of saying no, I reckon a one hundred yard stroll down the main drag in Ubud will illicit at least 30 offers of “taxi? taxi? transport? You need transport Mister? maybe tomorrow, you want transport tomorow?” (they never seemed to ask Verlie either which annoyed me as well) supportive as I am of free enterprise and a working man trying to make a living, after a couple of days I was seriously considering having a t-shirt printed that said “NO, I DON’T WANT A F**KING TAXI” but Verlie said that would be rude. My anger was compounded by the fact that the one time we were in need of a taxi, there was of course, not a single one to be had. The main reason It annoyed me was this; they all sit in a line on the pavement, and after you say no to one shabby looking old man, the next 10 progressively scruffier and more annoying potential travel insurance claims somehow think you’ll change your mind in the course of a few steps……..Taxi? No……… Taxi? No Thanks………Taxi? You want transport……..NO……….Taxi mister?........Oh go on then, yes please, you’ve charmed me with your toothless grin and rancid body odour.

As you can gather our relaxing holiday was having the potential of increasing Marks blood pressure quite dramatically by the minute. When I could see Mark was abouot to erupt I would step infront and just walk along repeating ‘No thank you, no thank you, no thank you’ a bit like a parrot really. Sometimes the Taxi driver will have just opened his mouth for a yawn (maybe) and I would continue with the ‘No thank you’ just to ensure that my happy hubby remained happy?!?!?

I was a bit worried, before we went t Bali, about the *ahem* the old toilet situation, I will warn you now, this paragraph is a bit rank, but it’s like looking at a car crash, you know you shouldn’t…..but you just can’t help yourself. I saw a clip of The Legendary Karl Pilkington in China ,having a bit of a nightmare in the public toilets and was concerned that the toilets in Indonesia, would be the same.
So this one day we were out in Ubud market, and I got caught short, it wasn’t like I could nip behind a tree either, if you catch my drift. Luckily (or so I thought) the convenience store had a toilet which Verlie asked one of the staff if I could use. I nipped in, just in the nick of time, and quickly surveyed the set up. Toilet bowl? Check. Flush handle? Check Cistern? Check. Everything seemed to be in order. I was in…Deal…..and not a moment too soon. So I sat there with much relief and took a closer look at my surroundings. Cistern? Check…water in the cistern……..nope….Toilet Roll…..nope…….wash basin? nope…..soap?….nooooooooo. Bucket of water? check…….plastic scoop….check. This was a tricky situation, and I’d just like you to imagine dear reader, what you would do in such a situation. I did what I had to and as I stood up I knocked something off the shelf above the toilet, it turned out there was soap, but as it fell in slow motion, off of the shelf and into the swing top bin underneath, my eyes followed it, it hit the bin lid and disappeared into the stinking abyss, along with my last shred of dignity, and finally as if to add insult to injury, the lid swung open as the soap hit it and revealed to my reluctant eyes, the grisly contents of that bin. Which to save you the trauma, I will not reveal. I quickly located the hand sanitiser in the convenience store, but I felt like If I bathed in it for a week I’d still not feel clean.

After I had made my parental disappointed face at Mark for not using the toilet at the restaurant we had just been in, I was left to wander the aisles of hundreds and hundreds of counterfeit DVDs, I was amazed at the selection but somewhat confused as to why a convenience store was able to sell such things. Apparently there are no copyright laws in Indonesia and the police as we were informed by a Balinese local were more like snakes. The analogy of Balinese police is that they feed and sleep and then when they are hungry they feed again. It appears that doughnut eating is not what they prefer but literally anyone they do not like the look of.

One of the main attractions of Ubud, aside from the charismatic taxi drivers was the Monkey Forest. You can buy a hand of mini bananas and try and tempt them out of the trees to feed them. They must be shy I thought, I hope we get a glimpse of some. We stepped out of the shuttle bus at the entrance to the forest and the monkeys were standing everywhere in the road, brazen as you like, like some sort of Dickensian monkey pickpocket crew/ushers. “yep yep this way mate” I imagined them saying “don’t forget your bananas on the way in” yes you mate, get 2 lots you tight bastard, can’t you see how small those bananas are? I’ve got a family to feed…..Go on, back you go, we won’t pose for photo’s unless you get another bunch” (while my back’s turned) “Freddie…..FREDDIE, get that one there, yeah him, the fat bald one, his wallets in the side pocket of his shorts, it’s only Velcro, while he’s feeding you, try and get it off him” It’s all in monkey language of course…. Karl loves monkeys and would have had a field day We had a kind of impromptu guide, who showed us around, we didn’t ask for it, he just kind of did it, which also meant we had to just kind of pay him as well, I gave him £5, I couldn’t tell if he was offended or not. It was quite an energetic walk, but very well worth it, as you can see from the photo’s the monkeys were amazing.

I loved the monkeys! On leaving the forest it was very hot and the energetic strut around the forest had left us hot, sweaty and very thirsty. Across the road was a few little cafes and souvenir shops so we headed across. I often wonder why it is that when you are on holiday in a hot country you always order a Sprite?? We certainly did anyway 2 Sprite and a large bottle of water. We sat underneath the umbrella looking at a couple of monkeys larking about before my eyes became transfixed on what looked like brightly coloured floral Aladdin Pants. I directed Mark to where I was looking and Mark began the haggling process. I purchased my first pair for $14 and very pleased with them I was too (see pictures) So pleased in fact we went back the next day and purchase 4 more pairs in varying colours at an even better price! Yey

Most of the rest of our trip was spent sampling the gastronomic delights that Indonesia had to offer, I’m not quite as adventurous as Verlie, but I’m proud to say that I ate Indonesian for at least one meal every day, except breakfast as I’m not mental. (I did ‘cause I love nasi/mi goreng)
As you know it was our 1st wedding anniversary while we were away, and on the 17th we went to a restaurant that had been recommended to us called Nomads, it was amazing we sat at a traditional Asian table, where you have to take your shoes off and sit on cushions at a low table, there’s probably a proper name for them but I can’t be arsed googling it to look all clued up…..Anyway we had an amazing meal, for non-subscribers who are reading this and who are travelling to Ubud, the following restaurants get the Mark and Verlie star for awesome food/service
Nomads, Cinta Grill & Inn, Warung Enak, Siam Sally’s, Kafe Batan Waru, Ibu Rai and for something budget but still great food, Dapur Sonya Da Vespa, which unsurprisingly is run by a scooter enthusiast. I have to single out Warung Enak for extra high praise, the service food and ambience were all 5 star, Verlie had a young coconut drink, I tried some, It was awesome, and as usual I wished I’d ordered what she had. Incidently that list of restaurants just gave my spell checker a nervous breakdown.

Mark had tried to arrange in secret a romantic candle lit dinner for two as advertised by the Tepi Sawah Villas on their website. I had viewed this on-line myself and had hoped that Mark had not booked it for the following reasons:
A) He hated almost everything on the menu as it was mainly fish or seafood.
B) It was astronomically prices at 1,650,000 rupia per person plus 21% Tax and service! This would equate to approx $234.88 per person.
C) The dishes they were serving you could actually purchase from their menu any time of day at a lower price.

What you were actually paying for was overpriced food which the hotel served on a daily basis but you were seated in a private area of the pool. We had eaten at the hotel and had enjoyed a private gazebo away from everyone and had a wonderful evening I could not see what the extra cost was for. The most expensive meal we had in Bali was around $88 which was 3 courses each including beer and cocktails at the very trendy Warung Enak. As we sat in the back of the free pick up bus the day before our anniversary the driver asked Mark if he still wanted the candle lit dinner, I had pretended not to hear as Mark politely put a flea in his ear about it being a surprise. Later on the reception had called and given Mark the total cost of the meal and thankfully he cancelled. I think we could have come to blows over that one, but the thought was there. We had decided not to purchase gifts or cards for our anniversary, your first is paper and we decided that the flight itinerary would suffice in the tradition. We did have a wonderful anniversary, we relaxed by the pool for most of the day, this was one of the very few days we had been on our own together all day since working at the hostel. We headed to Nomads in the evening where I ate the most amazing tuna steak and Mark had wonderful Satay, the cocktails were yummy and the atmosphere romantic. An amazing evening to finish an amazing day.

We’d read up a lot about Bali’s famous fish spa’s where you can get these freaky fish who clearly have some sort of foot fetish to suck the dead skin from your feet. You literally sit with your feet dangling in the tank, while these deviant little buggers go to town on the hard/dead skin on your feet. One day we walked past one, and decided to give it a go 100,000 Indonesian rupiah (about £8) each we sat there and dipped our feet into the unknown. At first it tickles like anything, I thought Verlie was going to wet herself. Then after a few seconds you get used to the feeling and it just feels like your feet are vibrating. It feels very strange, and I have to say I don’t think 20 minutes was long enough for my minging plates, and it didn’t really do much in the way of softening my feet, it was a unique experience though, so well worth doing.

I was worried our special week would fly past in what seemed like only a couple of days, but Verlie and I both agreed that it had gone slow if anything. My first proper taste of Asia was amazing, and I can’t wait to go back, I’d like to go to Vietnam (the war has finished Mum, before you start to panic) or maybe Thailand.
Bali is an amazing place, you can by top quality knock off DVD’s in every convenience store, and McDonalds do 24 hour delivery, what more do you need?

---

Photos

Tepi Sawah Villa
The biggest bed in the world

Tepi Sawah Villas
Having a bath in that was dodgy, the petals got into every nook and cranny

Tepi Sawah Villas
We liked the ambience!

Tepi Sawah Villas
After a few cocktails.....She's anybodys......

Tepi Sawah Pool
No need to go to the beach

Tepi Sawah Pool
It was as quiet as this most days

Tepi Sawah Pool
We never got bored of it

Traditional Balinese Dancer
A bit of culcha innit.....

Bali Pants
The much searched for "Aladdin Pants"

Monkey Forest
Nit Picking!

Monkey Forest
Pick pocketing little bugger

Monkey Forest
On me head Son

Monkey Forest
Chilling out

Monkey Forest
What You Lookin At!

Monkey Forest
Spot The Difference

Monkey Forest
Snoozing

Cocktails at Nomads
Baileys and Cherryade please Michael

Warung Enak
Young Coconut.....an actual coconut

Warung Enak
Tuna Steak

Siam Sallys
The Wife

Siam Sally's
The Husband

Nomads
Our anniversary meal

Fish Spa
Just a normal day....having the dead skin sucked off my feet by little fish.....

Fish Spa
Surely nail polish can't be good for them