Punjabi Feel

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Punjab Feel,

During the days of summer here, the heat and humidity has the more wealthy folk retreat to their homes in and air conditioned environment far from the sweltering outer world. The summers are for idleness with not much happening except for basic meals preparation and minor house duties. It has rained for one day and night which cut the heat dramatically, but it doesn’t last long. I decided I couldn’t just be idle so I venture out on my own a fair amount 38 degrees or not. I have gotten used to walking up the road, waving at the usual workers on the street and jumping in a rickshaw to somewhere. This seems to be a news worthy event according to the less adventurous. Even though I wear a salwar kameez (Indian women’s suit…of which I would rather don a pair of shorts and t-shirt or better yet, bathing suit in this heat!) my look seems to be a fascination for most. I even had one young man and woman want to have a photo with me because I was “so beautiful.” I laughed and thought they must be joking…I was thinking it was because my suit looked ridiculous on me or something. Anyways it was a nice boost to the ego along with the attention I am getting for my past athletic accomplishments. My Uncle Saroop is my personal publicist as he tells everyone he knows or happens to come across of my achievements…every clerk, cabbie and cow in Amritsar knows I won something or other. This is no small matter given his clout in this town. He, himself has had an amazing life full of success. He was from a very small village and grew up very poor. Through scholarships because of his brightness and through hard work, he managed to be selected as one of very few elite for the IPS…the Indian Police Service where he made it all the way to Captain. This police force is a special unit of a very select few…the cream of the crop. He is very well respected and lucky for me, his position gives me front row seats and preferential treatment for almost everything here. He has even been given a full time driver courtesy of the Amritsar Police Force…a chauffeur police officer. We seem to just be able to drive up to anything and through any traffic or toll booth and park in highly restricted areas reserved for the “powerful.” The caste system at its best! I told my uncle he was 24 years too late on this task of Pamela Leila Rai promotion, but he said it was never too late. I am the first and possibly the only women of Punjabi heritage to have won an Olympic medal…maybe even of Indian heritage, so this is big news here and timely given that the Olympics have just ended and is on the minds of people.

The Punjab is quite unlike the rest of India I have seen so far. Although Punjabis are the biggest immigrants to other countries, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of openness to the outside world. I find the mentality of Indians in general as quite rigid in thinking as far as liberal sentiments and equality between the sexes goes. This is a feminist’s nightmare here and I am restraining myself from screaming at times. All the talk and reputation of India as being progressive and modern, is not so evident in the Punjab or at least Amritsar, although I am told and have read that Rajasthan and many other states are extremely insular in thought. I think the modern India we have been fed truly is a tiny sector located in Mumbai, Delhi or Goa. Again, males obviously have a lot more freedom here and privilege. Just as we can learn many things from the values here in terms of family, respect and the place spirituality plays in our daily lives, India can learn a lot about equality between genders (although the west still has a ways to go too) and about health and fitness. There are big campaigns against female infanticide here and sex determination tests (which are illegal but happen anyways). The dowry system and the perception a female is a burden to a family is still very much alive…a slow death of male preference still plays out in people “who know better.” Many women who never bore a male still pray til the day they die that there is some “possibility”! In my short stay here, on the news, there was a reported honour killing of a female and there were two young females left abandoned at the Golden Temple for “god” to take them into “his” care. Even modern, educated women here utter unconscious notions of male dominance and the requirement of having a son. It boggles my mind…I honestly thought India had changed far more than it has. I am having a tough time with the inequalities here between the sexes and between the “classes” or “castes.” I often think of how my friends or colleagues would react to such observances and it wouldn’t be pretty.

The rigid gender roles and limitations for women is angering even though the wealthy, younger women seem to attain degrees in medicine, business and dentistry as if were their birthright. It seems a high professional education is a status requirement rather than a passion or choice. There are few choices for professional training here. There is basically becoming a doctor or doing a Master’s of Business Administration…nothing else. There appears to be some areas in Information Technology too. The education system is somewhat different here too. One can enter into medicine right after high school and be a doctor in 5 years! I have decided I could not live here happily. The pressure to conform is far too great and I would not do very well. People are not so independent here, and individual concerns or needs are not really accounted for. There is little care or interest in the arts or aesthetics and no real leisure opportunities. People do not seem to have creative or fitness activities per say and spending time outdoors in nature is not really popular or sought after. The leisure activities are visiting family. I think for me personally and my conditioning, I need a balance between the individual and the communal. There is VERY little room here for individual expression especially in appearance. Everyone wears the same thing, although different colours and embroidery and the hairstyle is the same for almost all. Most people eat the same food…tones of milk products (yogurt, buttermilk, paneer (cheese), milk, butter, ice cream, custard), lentils, beans, rice, roti (flat bread) , parantha (stuffed flatbread) and sweets made usually from milk. I am so used to a multicultural life and cuisine and I am really feeling the difference and lack of variety here. Afterall, this is a homogeneous society of which is rather interesting. They could use a dose of worldliness here, but I cannot help but ascertain that the number of invasions the Punjab collective psyche has endured here has resulted in an insular mentality and protective armour from any outer influence. This is evident in Punjabis’ scrutiny of foreigners and the constant staring too. I didn’t feel this uncomfortable anywhere in India thus far and the sad thing is these are my kin! I am still trying to make sense of it. It is true that the Punjab is not a tourist destination…except the Golden Temple perhaps. As I traveled through areas here, I did not see any foreigners, or services for tourists. It has been nice to experience the “real” India, yet it is challenging on my own as a female too.

The hospitality and extension of generosity is amazing here. Even if I am not related to people, by mere association with a relative, I am embraced as family. This is heartwarming to say the least. I have been trying to help the best I can around the house, but given the heat and the language barrier, I am feeling awkward and kinda useless. I did offer to make a meal…not Indian though and this was a fun adventure. I opted for Chinese as I thought this was the easiest and least risky for the family. I thought of Greek too, but that seemed just a bit too “radical.” So, for the meal I needed to go grocery shopping. My Uncle dropped me off at a “grocery” store and I was left there to my own accord. Stupid me, that day I wore a t-shirt and skirt because I didn’t think I would be anywhere alone…well wrongo. So as the young boy clerk proceeded to follow me around the store and stare, along with the posse he managed to acquire, I looked at every item and had to come up with a meal plan. I managed to get the basics for my meal and headed home in an auto-rickshaw. Along the way, I had to stop at a vegetable stand as the veggies in the grocery store were not good and it lacked variety. Actually, the whole store lacked variety. I think anyone who would see our grocery stores here, especially something like Superstore, would keel over and die. Again, the staples of simple Indian cooking is what a store will stock. I had to climb over the roadway barrier to the otherside in my skirt to get to the veggie stand and this was a feast for everyone’s eyes I am sure. I was surprised to find out that there is no tofu here, soya milk and for the life of me, I couldn’t find fresh coriander? Maina says Punjabis don’t use it…this was news to me as it is common in Indian cooking at home. Vegetable variety is limited here and now it is the season for potatoes, eggplant, bitter gourd, green beans, okra, bottle gourd and green peppers. Tomatoes and cucumbers are also widely available. I managed to find carrots and some zuchinni-like veggies too. There are no or very few imported things here so it is nice to see that “in season” veggies are what is eaten unlike the variety of out of season we are spoiled with and which is not environmentally sound. There is no sign of fresh greens like spinach or lettuce. I am craving a salad.

I made it home with no glitches except the fact that every rickshaw driver charges a different fee. I can never figure it out. I have made my maximum in my mind given the distance of things and I just offer them what I think. It is usually too much I am told, but on average, a $1 for a ride to me is fair. Any foreigner gets charged way more…in Amritsar, it is not so bad though as compared to other places. So I spent a long time making dinner which I felt turned out awesome…tempura eggplant fingers in a garlic and blackbean sauce along with Chinese noodles and a great ginger/garlic veggie stirfry. I did find some stirfry sauce and real soya sauce despite missing sesame oil. Everyone seemed to enjoy it, but I could tell, it was not preferred to the regular Indian fair. There is little influence or interest for that matter of other food or cultures for that matter here except pizza and some American materialism temptations. Some restaurants serve “continental,” meaning attempt at Western food. Indian palates are very conditioned for Indian food. Saroop and Maina took us all out to eat at a very fancy restaurant here at the best hotel in Amritsar, the MK International. The food was delicious. I felt so underdressed with all these women wearing sparkly, fancy sarees and salwar kameezes…my pants to my suit ripped just before leaving to the restaurant, so I had to change quickly in a matter of minutes in the dark (the power was out again) and so I wore a very “peasantlike” number that had me self-conscious the whole time. Despite my ripped pant episode and a misfortunate accident with the brand new Honda car Saroop bought (he made too sharp of a turn and scraped the side of it on a concrete wall) the evening was nice. The restaurant had live music…a tabla player and harmoniuim playing singer.

I see property development ads here for things like McDonald’s and KFC and am sad that this is going to be the exposure to “multicultural” cuisine. Already Amritsar has a Pizza Hut and Dominoes Pizza…but the pizza is not like at home. It is Indian style with flavours like Paneer Spicy and Veggie Capsicum Delight…I ordered two pizzas on one of my outings and brought them home. It seems the “kids” eat pizza but not Saroop, so my thought of relieving Maina of her cooking duties for an evening didn’t quite turn out. Darn it anyways…I tried!

Later,
Leila

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