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Published: January 20th 2008
Paul at the Gateway to India
This arch was built by the British to mark the arrival of Prince Edward (not positive on the name) in the 1800's. It symbolically became the "gateway" to British India and it was from here that the last soldiers left when India gained independence. More interestingly though, this is the one place in the world where touts will try to sell you a "big balloon". As the name suggests it's just a meter long balloon; why would I want that?You’re Either a China Person or an India Person. . . Supposedly
India. . . that far off place that for one reason or another is stuck in the western mind as “exotic”, “overwhelming”, “magical”, or even “scary”. When talking to travelers, young or old, the word India is always countered with two types of story. The first ones are horror stories of crowded bazaars filled with pickpockets, touts, mayhem and madness. Places where you have to have a tough skin in order to survive. The other stories tell of a wondrous place filled with colours, sights, sounds and smells which overwhelm your senses in such extreme ways that you undergo nothing short of a religious experience. Entering India I had a sense of anxiety, I was scared: would India be like everyone said? Would I find the country too intense? Would I be able to withstand the pushy people long enough to be able to enjoy the real cultural riches which are here?
After a month in India I have a very different outlook. Perhaps my story would have been different had I come straight to India from the relative safety of my home, but after China and
Leopold's Crew
The westerners who stayed late at Leopold's cafe/bar.
Photo courtesy of Paul. Nepal I found India to be simple. To be blunt, this country makes sense; everything here works in a way that I can understand. And when everything makes sense, everything is easy.
Here is an example which I think exemplifies India: Paul and I were in a train station trying to find the platform for our train. Almost immediately a shoeshiner approaches us and starts helping us out. He spoke excellent English and told us exactly where our train would arrive and when we had to be there. We had some time up our sleeves so we headed across to the little restaurant in the station building where Paul and I relaxed for an hour or so. Then, just as we were about to head to the platform, the shoeshiner came into the restaurant and very politely told us that the train would be arriving in five minutes. He had actually gone out of his way to make sure we got onto the train. Now, we’ve all seen this scenario before, especially in India: someone helps you out, and then they expect you to give them a few Rupees on the side. That’s not a problem by me, so
Chowpatty
Sunset on the sand. Twenty young kids came up to us and talked about cricket and Australia for about twenty minutes. Indian people really are friendly. long as I need the help. The difference however, the thing which makes India different to China or Asia in general, is what happened next.
We got onto the train and found a seat, all the while the shoeshiner was telling us his sob story about how many children and wives he has to feed and how hard it is being a shoeshiner. Because he had been so helpful we pulled out some money and offered it to him, but he would not take it. He simply refused to take our money like that. He would however shine our shoes and then take the money. You see, the people in India are obsessed with money but they understand that you need to provide a service first before you can get it. Whether it’s finding you a hotel, carrying your bags, driving you around, telling you information, buying tickets for you, cleaning shoes, cleaning ears, selling junky souvenirs, or anything else that you could possibly want, the people here will do anything they can to help you out. So, as a traveler here, it’s impossible to get stuck or have trouble getting around. Whenever you need some help there will
be someone there to give it, and it will only cost you a dollar. How easy is that?
There are of course exceptions, and it is true that India has a massive problem with beggars and the homeless, but even these people will do whatever they can to help you out. Even if all they can do is a Hindu blessing they’ll offer it to you before you give them money.
India as a place can be very frustrating. If you aren’t used to crowds of pushy people trying to get on a bus then you might dislike the place. If you can’t stand car horns then you should stay away (constant car horns, I mean constant, it’s as though they think that horns can actually make the other cars disappear if only they hold them on long enough), and the same goes for blaring Hindi music (oh my that can be painful). India is a bustling place, particularly on the main roads, and it is often hard to find peace, but that is one of the things which makes India an exciting destination. All of the colours that people wear, the different styles of clothing (Sarees are
Victoria Terminus
The old railway station built by the British back in colonial days.
Photo courtesy of Paul. amazing), the myriad vehicles from cars and trucks to tuk tuks, rickshaws, bikes, scooters, horse-drawn carriages and god knows what else, the crazy food stalls on the streets, the cows which just wander slowly across six lanes of traffic; if it weren’t for these sights which are completely alien to us then India would be as boring as your local supermarket.
Paul and I had a varied time here, we did a lot of different things and we tried to have fun in a number of different ways. We always ran into problems though as the tourist culture here is very different from elsewhere. When considering that it’s high tourist season now I am rather shocked that I am still completely surrounded by locals. With the notable exception of Goa, we spent the majority of our month away from all other tourists. Not deliberately of course, it’s just that the tourists seem to spread themselves very thinly here.
Looking back I would have to say that India is the most varied place I’ve yet been. At some moments I am completely surrounded by amazing sights, and at others I’m surrounded by boring ones. Sometimes I find myself having
the time of my life, and at other times I find myself bored out of my skin (particularly after 10:30pm when everything closes down. Even in Delhi it’s hard to stay out past 12). We did the foolish young man’s holiday scene in Goa and then we cruised the backwaters with octogenarians, we partied hard on new years and then we went to places where you had no choice but to chill out, everyday was different.
I am getting well ahead of myself though, and I should really start from the beginning. You already know what I think of India, let me now tell you how I came to my conclusions. Here is the story of two men, one Santa, and 30 days.
Day One and Already Things Are Going Badly
Well, if I was looking for a surefire way to ease myself into the supposedly chaotic world of India then I probably should have gone about it in a different way. My very first experience in India was touching down in Delhi airport 15 minutes late, waiting 45 minutes for my baggage and then realising that I had to switch terminals to catch my next
Mumbai Street
Photo courtesy of Paul. flight. Sure, that doesn’t sound too hard, until of course you discover that the other terminal is eight kilometers away and your plane is taking off in less than an hour!
Well, I sure was stressing then but these things have a habit of working out so I did what I had to and I jumped in a taxi to the other airport.
There was a traffic jam.
As I ran from the taxi towards the airport terminal knowing full well that my plane was already boarding the driver still thought to ask me for a tip. Ignoring that I hightailed it through to the ticket desk and they urged me to hurry, as if I wasn’t already, so I ran inside and found myself in a queue for the security check. In fact, I ended up in three separate security checks in that airport (one even demanded that I prove to him that my MP3 player could actually play music), two other queues for the airline and finally I found myself in the boarding line. Thankfully the plane was late taking off, but I still only got there with five minutes to spare. If every day
Paul At the Beach
There is NO way that you could swim in this water. in India was going to be like this, I thought, then I would certainly go insane.
Mumbai
Mumbai is one of the world’s most densely populated cities and over twenty million people live in the region. When you stand around in the center of town though, you really wouldn’t know it. A couple of times I went for a walk in the morning and got caught up in rush hour where thousands of office workers flood off the trains and walk south down the peninsula towards their offices. From the millions of homes in the north of the city all of the workers commute each morning but then, around 10am, they’re all at work so once again the city seems as uncrowded as the centers of Australian cities. Really, I could tell that it was a big city, a couple of million people perhaps, but there was no sign of the densely packed megalopolis of Mumbai.
The reason is simply that the majority of Mumbai’s residents don’t come into the main city. Instead they must live and work around the factories and industrial areas outside town, or, in the endless slums that fill up every bit
Sunset at Chowpatty Beach
On the western side of Mumbai's peninsula is Chowpatty beach, a long strip of sand full of touts, food stalls, drink vendors, tea sellers, masseuses, etc.
Photo courtesy of Paul. of free space in the north. As a tourist though you never get to see the slums (unless you make a concerted effort to do so) and Mumbai is just another westernised city. In fact, the parts of the city that I saw were as colonial as you could imagine with wide streets, big public spaces, parks and gardens, and old Victorian architecture everywhere.
Central Mumbai is a fascinating place to wander around. Although there isn’t a great deal to do there (museums and art galleries excepted) it made for a good afternoon wandering between the old buildings, down shady streets, and around the maidans. The maidans were particularly interesting: large grassed parks completely devoid of any buildings. Every day there are innumerable games of cricket being played on the maidans, each game overlapping with the ones around it so that fielders must run into each other on occasion. Also, behind the maidans are some of the oldest and most beautiful colonial buildings.
Another thing which makes Mumbai interesting is that the autorickshaws (which are everywhere in India) are banned from entering the central city. Instead, thousands of black cabs drive around, almost exactly like cabs in London
Paul and Some Aussie Guy
On one night we went out and enjoyed some of Mumbai's famous nightlife. Somehow we ran into four Aussie boys though.
Photo courtesy of Paul. only with distinct Indian twists (they paint all sorts of signs and messages onto vehicles in India, such as “speed control”, “horn please”, “registered in Mumbai only”, and thousands of other weird things like that). The cabs fit in with the old-world colonial look of Mumbai and, once again, it makes the place look completely unlike India.
A Curry A Day Keeps the Doctor Away?
Being me, I got hungry shortly after arriving in India. The thought of an authentic curry was making me dizzyingly hungry, so I headed out in search of a proper dinner. I found a small vegetarian restaurant somewhere in the south of the city and I confidently sat in my chair and stared at another incomprehensible menu.
In China I couldn’t read menus because they were all written in Chinese, but at least I was able to figure out what the dishes were made of to some extent. In India however, I was at a loss; what is Kadai, Paneer, Kofta, Murgh, Methi, Aloo, Paratha, Mussalam, or Gobi? Luckily I could figure out a couple of dishes to the point where I was pretty sure they were curries so I simply
Paul Having Fun
Big party...
Photo courtesy of Paul. ordered one of them. I also asked for some bread and rice on the side.
Patiently waiting, sipping on my first Indian beer, I watched as my waiter (who was incredibly helpful) brought out my rice, my bread, and three small bowls. One bowl held a white mixture, another was red and chilli looking, and the third was raw onion. Alright, I thought, is that what I ordered?
I thought I’d be patient, wait and see if he brings something else out, but a long time passed and no new food arrived. I was shocked. How could I have ordered three small helpings of random weird things? I resolved to taste the three to see if they were in fact tasty Indian food. They were not.
The onion was raw onion so that wasn’t good eating. The white stuff was yoghurt so it hardly comprised a meal, which left only the third dish. Tasting the red stuff I almost gagged at its bitterness. It was unbearable to eat so I gave up on the whole thing and went back to waiting. Eventually, and much to my glee, an amazing curry arrived in a silver bowl. Oh my,
it was the best curry I had ever had. My waiter had a strange look on his face, I think he was taking pity on me, and he actually went to the effort of serving my entire meal for me: he wouldn’t even let me spoon the curry onto my plate! Perhaps he thought I was a simpleton and needed the help. I had, after all, been eating the pickles and garnishes.
Hollywood with a Capital ‘B’
In the world of cinema there is no greater place to be than Hollywood, or is there? In this modern world of fast growing economies in far flung places there are more choices than there used to be. In Bombay (Mumbai) there is Bollywood, in Hyderabad there is Tollywood, and in Lahore there is my personal favourite: Lollywood. Paul and I took it upon ourselves to figure out what all the fuss is about in the land of Bollywood.
For those who haven’t seen a Bollywood film, you’ll get a really big shock when you do. We’re not talking about small scale independent style films here; Bollywood is just as big as its American cousin when it comes to
Monkey!
My first Indian monkey experience. This was at Elephanta island; a small collection of ancient Hindu cave carvings close to Mumbai. blockbusters. Huge sums of money are spent of effects, grand locations, hordes of extras, big name stars, and musical numbers. Just think how much better Spiderman 3 would have been if it had more than one musical number (for it could not have possibly been worse). This is what Bollywood is all about: fun, frivolity, dancing, bright costumes, lots of skin, romance, and absolutely nothing raunchy enough to prevent your grandmother from watching the film.
Mumbai is where Bollywood happens thanks to the production studios outside the city. And, thankfully for western tourists, there is a demand for western looking people in the films (usually as background extras to make the overseas locations look authentic). Because of this situation it is a common occurrence for people to approach you in the street and ask you to play a part in one film or another, and they pay you for it!
Paul and I were sitting down to lunch in the Colaba district, which is where most tourists end up, when a big Indian man walked up to us quickly and said that he needed some westerners for a film. He then asked us how tall we are at
Elephanta Island
Not the most exciting caves in the world, but it was good to get out of the city for an afternoon. which point he got really excited and offered me (not Paul, he was too short) 1500 Rupees to work for the next seven hours shooting the film. As a fan of Bollywood from a long time ago, I was beside myself, but because Paul wasn’t wanted I thought I’d better turn down the offer. But hey, I was asked to be in a movie, that’s good enough for me.
There were other reasons why I turned down the role though. First off, most of the “Bollywood films” they recruit for turn out to be dodgy TV ads. If that were the case then I wouldn’t be able to find the film and show it to anyone afterwards, which made the offer less than exciting. Another problem which I discovered later on is that the Indian film makers aren’t really that picky about whom they get as extras. I was sitting in a bar watching a filmclip from some obscure film (the film and music industries are inextricably linked here, movie stars are rock stars at the same time) which was set on a beach. In the foreground were the hero and heroine, in each other’s arms of course, dancing
and singing their love for one another. In the background, raised on a rock by the water’s edge, were four western girls idly dancing. This sounds all well and good, nothing out of the ordinary, until you make a closer inspection. The four girls were not what you would call attractive and were horrible dancers; not exactly what you should be looking for in a sexy dance number set in front of a beachside sunset. Therefore, when the guy asked me to be in his film he wasn’t really giving me the compliment that I thought he was.
Taking matters into our own hands, Paul and I went to the effort of seeing two movies while in India. The first was the largest and most expensive production in Indian history: Om Shanti Om. As an illustration of how thrillingly entertaining the film was (how many times have you seen a film in a foreign language without subtitles and still been enthralled enough to be singing the songs from it three weeks later?) here is a brief plot summary. Interestingly, this plot summary also works for most Bollywood movies, they are all the same after all.
1. Hero
Carved From the Rock Itself
Inside the caves there were dozens of exquisitely carved pillars and statues. watches his idol dancing on stage in a ‘70s disco TV show.
2. Hero talks to friend about aspirations.
3. Hero sings to friend about aspirations.
4. Hero meets beautiful girl. Falls in love.
5. Hero stalks beautiful girl. She falls in love.
6. Hero and girl sing about it for half an hour.
7. Something bad happens that stops everything.
8. Girl is killed.
9. Hero is killed.
10. Hero is reincarnated.
11. Hero is famous: sings about it.
12. Girl appears again: sings about it.
13. etc. etc.
Really, the plot lines are hideous, but when hidden behind so many high intensity dance numbers you barely notice.
The second film we saw was a comedy and I could not, for the life of me, figure out what was going on. Nevertheless, the dance numbers still made it a hit in my eye. How is this possible? This formula can never fail!
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PedroElPedro
Paul Rubin
The India Adventure
Good sum up of our experiences in the first section, India was definitely a mixed bag, but a great time was had nonetheless. No need to keep referencing my photos though, let's just accept all the good ones are mine eh! :)