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Wanted: 40 foreigners to go on an all-expenses-paid cruise for two weeks to the postcard-perfect Lakshadweep islands (and sun themselves by the pool in the background of a major Bollywood production). Qualifications: willingness to work 12-hour days and ability to clap hands in rhythm to Hindi pop music. Check and check.
Our first time in Mumbai, Bollywood was a distant glimmer of glamour. We’d heard stories of travelers who got recruited to work as extras on movie sets, but we figured they were the lucky few. The second time around, we couldn’t walk ten steps without getting hounded by casting agents. All of a sudden we had the pick of the litter, and the opportunity of a Bollywood-sponsored cruise sounded like the kind of vacation from our vacation that we were looking for.
We met Nasir, our agent, one afternoon in Colaba. By the end of the day, we’d been confirmed for the shoot and given promotions. We were now members of a band for the film, with Jenny on vocals and Randy on guitar/cello (did it matter that Randy didn’t really play cello and Jenny—the “Spanish singer”—didn’t actually speak Spanish?). The change in roles brought a bump in salary: regular extras would earn 1500 rupees per day (about $40), but we’d get 1000 rupees extra for each day we worked as the band (roughly $60). Not bad for something we were willing to do for free.
There were just under 40 extras gathered at the appointed meeting place that humid afternoon in early May. Until the point we actually saw the ship, we weren’t sure what to expect. But when we passed through Customs and took our first steps inside the SuperStar Libra’s Crystal Court reception area, reality started to sink in. We were freeloading on a five-star cruise, about to play human wallpaper in a film starring Indian megastars Ajay Devgan and his wife, Kajol (Bollywood’s Meg Ryan, according to the crew).
Word came that we had the first night off. During those first hours aboard, we wandered the 10-deck ship in a daze. Compared to the barebones guesthouses we were used to, our cabins radiated luxury: cloud-like comforters, steamy showers, and 24-hour room service (with a smile). The disco, hair salon, show lounge, ice cream parlor, arcade, casino, Jacuzzi, two outdoor bars and four restaurants weren’t too shabby either.
We were still pinching ourselves at the BBQ welcome dinner on the pool deck. All-you-can-eat Indian dishes, grilled prawns, salad buffet, fresh bread and a dessert table that put Marie Calendar’s to shame (was that two-foot chocolate swan solid all the way through or simply covered in a thin layer of deliciousness?).
But the life of a Bollywood extra is not all comfort and chocolate swans, as we soon learned. Our wakeup call came at 5:30am the next morning, and 4am the morning after that. We soon settled into a regular 6am rising, which gave us just enough time to drag ourselves through the professional dress/hair/makeup gauntlet and be on set by 6:30am. Despite the fact that shooting never started before 9am, extras were required to be present and ready to work by 6:30. We always arrived before the cameras, and usually before the crew as well.
Days were 12 hours long, but mostly spent waiting around for each shot to be set up. It wasn’t hard work (unless you count sunbathing, strolling pool-side, and mock-playing instruments particularly trying), but the top decks—where most shooting took place—offered little respite from the searing Indian sun. The timing of meals was determined by filming, so we sometimes went long hours without food (though we soon perfected the art of slipping away for snacks between takes). Everything that wasn’t free was outrageously expensive, which limited our after-work drinks to complimentary tea and purified water that tasted so chlorinated it became known as “ass water.”
And, perhaps saddest of all, our work schedule meant that we couldn’t debark at the boat’s destinations with all of the regular tourists. Thus the perfect white-sand-palm-trees-azure-water beaches of Goa and Lakshadweep twinkled in the distance while we sweated in front of the camera on deck. One extra ditched the shoot for Lakshadweep without getting caught—but our prime positions as band members made us a little more memorable when missing.
Since none of the crew would (or could) give us a clear picture of the movie’s plot, we tried to piece it together ourselves by the scenes we witnessed first hand. We made little headway. A group of friends go on a cruise; some fall in love, others fight, and at one point someone’s auntie has a birthday. Kind of like what happens when you put 40 foreigners on a luxury liner for 12 days straight. Between the gossip, the fighting, the hookups, and even threats to call in the Russian mafia, there was more than enough drama on board to fill an entire season of scandalous reality TV.
Out at sea, we spent five full days shooting the music video for the film’s song. That is, five days listening to the same chorus over and over (and over and over...). As the band, we were supposed to be playing the song in the video (god knows why they had Randy playing a cello and Jenny a tambourine when no such instruments existed in the song). The camera took shots from every angle, and the band was in the background of each one; no one seemed bothered by the fact that we would appear to be in four places at once.
The only part that really matters, of course, is the dancing. Our film follows the footsteps of other recent Bollywood movies that introduce salsa into the Hindi dance equation (hence the need for a Spanish singer, though the majority of the song is in Hindi for the Indian audience). The Russian and Ukrainian dancers they’d hired pulled off incredible feats of twirling and dipping in 100-degree heat without a word of complaint. Ajay and Kajol had personal umbrella holders who leapt to their rescue the moment a take was finished.
Jenny got a taste of star treatment during her very own solo shot: an up close and personal view of her lips as she mouthed the song’s Spanish words. She even had a makeup artist who would rush out and dab her sweat beads away. Ahh, the life of a movie star.
All things considered, life was good. Good friends, good food, and the most divine beds known to backpackers. The weeks passed by in a blur of cameras, dancers, makeup, and the endless ocean. We both put on a few pounds—scarfing three desserts a meal often has that effect on a person; after the first week, Jenny had trouble zipping up her costume. How they’ll explain the Spanish singer’s notable expansion over the length of a pop song remains to be seen.
Movie details: “You, Me, Aur Hum” (You, Me, and Us) starring Ajay Devgan and Kajol; directed by Ajay and produced by Devgan Films. Releasing January 08.
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Jeff
non-member comment
Wow!
Can't wait to see it on YouTube!