We might have left India, but India will never leave us....

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Before we left to India, I had this feeling deep inside -India will change us, somehow. It was just a feeling and I could not really explain it. It told some friends and they were just laughing. Well, each trip has changed us in a way. But this time, it was about to be more.

Now being back since a couple of weeks, I have to admit - yes, my feelings were right. India has had a great impact on our live so far, nothing is the same as before. Of course, one reason is the ayurvedic treatment I did which gave me a lot of time to think about my life. For the first time in my life I was just taking care of myself and nothing else - end this for a full 3 weeks. No wonder, a lot of things coming up. But the other reason is the people we met on the road and the way of life in India. It is all the small things, the way people interact and treat each other. Or is it a special vibe? Or is it all together? We cannot really name it. Maybe, it is all together. But we arrived back in Switzerland and have been trying to get along with our daily lives - and a lot of things we do seem to be so utterly senseless. There are no people who give you a smile. If you give them a smile, people here just look at you like they are thinking "is she crazy, she is smiling". There is no sense of humour, no friendliness - just the run to earn enough money. Well, we realised this before, but this time we are simply not ready to go back into this routine and way of life even if we have to (who will pay our next trip then...?). Well, in our microcosmos at home, we try to keep up the spirit. And we are very, very lucky to have some friends who can understand and except our feelings. And of course, we are already planning our next trip.



So what was India like for us? We were not blended, there were some things we did not like at all. But there were a lot of things we simply loved. Please note, these are our personal impressions and feelings and we do not want to offend anyone! We know, like all over the world, there are always people and people.....



Things we loved:

- so many smiles: you are always greated with a big smile by people. Especially the kids are simply lovely. We loved them being so curious and asking us questions all the time (well, also the adults did this). We always took time to answer them all. Even though it was always the same. But we were regarded with so many warm smiles and hugs which left us speechless sometimes. OK, we have to admit, sometimes, it was a bit annoying, as it never stopped. Once, we were passing by a school and there were just too many school children who wanted to talk to us..... But normally, we had a blast.

- people are not aggressive! When we arrived in Kochi, it was New Years Eve and the streets were crowded with people. Being new in the country we were a bit scared to walk around town in the dark. But this feeling soon disappeared. OK, 90% of the people hanging around were young men. But there was no aggressiveness at all. They were just out to have a good time and we always felt save - even me as a woman felt save. I was not touched by men, they did not throw any sexual words at me or anything else you normally hear of other tourists.

- the landscape: well, nature is really incredable. By travelling through Kerala and adjacent regions we covered a wide variety of landscapes from lush green backwater regions, to gorgeous beaches, semidesert areas and buzzling cities.

- homestays - this is simply the best way to stay in India! We loved it. The hosts were always so welcoming and opened their homes to us. Never did we experience a hospitality like this before. And, if you choose your homestays carefully, they are spotless clean.

- people take you like you are - if you treat them nicely and respectfully, you can win the their heart. They do not care about where you come from, what your profession is or whoever you are. If you are polite to them, they are your friends. No-one is trying to change you or telling you what to do. It is good, like it is. This is a prizless feeling, especially when you come from Switzerland or Germany.

- we simply love the head wobbling. Of course, this looks quite funny for westeners in the beginning. But it is such a nice and respectful way to express friendliness. And the best of all: you must try it! OK; it looks stupid, as we westeners simply do not do it the right way. We can wobble the head, but our face expressions will look different. We have to admit, we felt silly by doing it. But we were rewarded with superfriendly smiles, warm welcomes and sometimes even cheaper ricksaw fares.

- the food - glorious food! It is a heaven for vegetarians and we never had any problems with food poisoning!



Things we did not like:

- overall, I, as a woman, am really glad to be born in a western country and not in India. Women have a really hard live, the do not receive the respect of men they deserve and they are oppressed. India is a men ruled country and women are second class citizens. Well, the younger generation is rising and women are beginning to fight for their rights. But still, it is just a beginning. The way of live is traditional, there are lots of arranged marriages still and women are supposed to be housewives, to raise children and to support men. Women are rarely seen walking alone in the streets or on the beach - mainly because they are scared to be mistreated by men. This is so sad. We wish they will gain more self confidence and more rights (!) and protection.

- as a couple you better not walk around holding hands. Public affection is just not the thing to do. By walking on the beach on weekends I always observed a group of women with children and a group of men (mostly posing with their mobile phones) walking seperately. There are no couples spending some private time together. Also by talking to some women, I realized something: private time seems to be limited to the bedroom and to sex. There are couples who have "normal" relationships (or at least, what westeners understand of it), who share their lives and treat themselves as partners. But most of the couples still live the traditional way. Maybe this is different in the big cities.....

- it is perfectly normal for indian men to hide in some bushes at a beach and to masturbate while westeners are going for a swim. This happened to me twice. Well, it does not hurt me, but it is simply disgusting! Women in a bathing suit and with white skin are not sex objects. And also we do not want sex with every indian men.

- OK, women have to walk along the beach covered up. I can accept this and always followed the rules. But it is perfectly ok, that men just pull down their pants and poo 3 meters in front of you on the beach. Then they walk with the naked bum into the water to clean themselves. Then they look at you and smile happily. No words for this...... It not only happened once to me. Even more often, men were just walking past me on the beach, stopped right beside me and started to pee.

These things often left us speechless and we wonder what went wrong with the sexual education in this country... Hopefully, women are able to raise their voices and fight for their rights.



We simply love the country and we will come back to India as soon as possbile. A special thank you to all the wonderful people we met and all our new friends. And a special thank you to the guys who gave me my new nickname "Chirikudukka". ;-)

We might have left India, but India will never leave us.....





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Photos

Kathakali Show in Fort Kochi
it is terribly touristy - but the show itself is quite good

time to leave India.....
c u soon

Comments

[Vinu]

Thanks for the wonderful blog
Hii Madam, Thanks for the wonderful blog about our country and 100% agrees with your comments about our people. Really feeling so shame about the people who had done such bad things. But you must back again to us with your lovely smile we had always seen you. Wishing you both a happy life. See you soon Chirikudukka. Vinu

[holamundo]

Thank you!
Hi Vinu, thank you so much for your message. I had tears of joy in my eyes reading it. You and your team made my stay at the Palm Beach Resort in Alappuzzha unforgettable and I hope I will come back soon. Give a big smile from me to everyone! Yours Chirikudukka :-)