Three Men (and us) in a Boat

---

Picture yourself on a boat by a river, with palm trees lining the shore, fine Keralan cuisine being cooked up for you in the galley, and only the distant sound of a million hungry mosquitoes heading ever closer to disturb the tranquility.

For the last two days we've been cruising the Keralan backwaters on a traditional rice boat. The boat has three crew- a pilot, an engine man and a chef- but otherwise we had the boat to ourselves- well, if you don't count the aforementioned insect chums and a good complement of geckos scampering around, eating them.

The feel of this part of India is very laid back. The people are friendly, always waving from the shore as we drift past. It's a largely Christian area and so there are lots of brightly painted churches and missions; we popped in to a service one morning to find the parishoners swaying in time to ear-pounding music from a synthesizer- with full disco effects and drum track. The priests delivered a sung mass to this unusual accompaniment. At one point a large red curtain behind them was ceremoniously parted to reveal the reredos (word courtesy of Linda- her convent school education was not wasted).

At night, we slept out on deck; partly to have the romantic experience of sleeping under the stars, partly to avoid the Biggest Spider In India that was hiding behind the toilet in our bedroom. Although quite helpful in his way- when you were finished he would reach out a meaty leg and flush the toilet for you- he had to go overboard to allow Linda to pee in peace.

Cruising along, it felt like we were in a different country. Kerala is part of India, but it has its own language (and script), a different climate, and hardly any vagrant cows. It also has its own currency; while the rupee is widely accepted, the de facto currency is the pen. Kids in the street tug your sleeve and ask if you have any pens to give them. At the end of our trip, when I went to tip the chef, he asked me if I had any spare pens going. I gave him 250 rupees instead, which he was most happy with. He went off to convert them into pens.

At the end of the trip, we returned to Kochi, the largest city in Kerala, and mooched around the old Portugese area of the city. Here, we ran into Sam, who we'd met up with in Mumbai, and shared a nice meal in a local restaurant. The dinner was enlivened by the arrival of Joy, a Mauritian hydrography student who looked like Jon Tickle after a heavy dose of muscle relaxant. He plonked himself down at the spare seat at our table and joined in our conversation as if he was an old friend. "Man, the other students on my course are so boring," he moaned. "Whenever I suggest we go out, they never wanna come." Yep, one of life's mysteries, Joy.

We've spent the last day in India getting things sorted out- including doing a laundry run. In India this is the province of the dhobi-wallah, who takes your smalls to the side of a nearby river and hits them with a stick until the dirt relents out of sheer terror. We think some kind of soap is involved as well; the laundry returns, pressed and neatly folded, smelling rather like the inside of a Brillo pad. If you look closely you can see the markings (a single stitch of green thread, for instance) they have used to distinguish your undies from those of the next customer.

We've come to the end of our month in India and despite our health troubles, occasional fits of frustration and being subjected to constant lascivious stares from the men (Linda) and "where are you coming from Sir?" (Steve), we've both had a fantastic time. The architecture, landscapes, food, regional diversity and the warmth of the Indians is constantly surprising and often humbling given the extremes of poverty we have seen. The start of 2006 heralds the start of a new country to explore. We set off for Thailand tonight.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year!

---

Photos

At the wheel
Linda and Steve in carefully posed shot- the pilot didn't want to take his hands off the wheel any longer than necessary

Bashir- our pilot
Bashir didn't have much English, and his tour guide skills were limited to pointing at bananas and saying "bananas"

Sleeping beauty
Linda presents a tempting target for frustrated mozzies

Sunset
It's total gridlock...

Rice boat
The only way to travel