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Published: February 7th 2008
After our terrible stay in Kolkata, we made our way down to Cochin via the Bombay airport. After yet another hair-raising taxi ride we made our way to a smaller town called Alleppey nestled in the backwaters of Kerala. Our taxi driver didn't know where our hotel was so he pulled over to the side of the road and called them to get directions using his own cell phone! We were consistently baffled and pleased by how out of the way people were willing to go to help us.
We found our hotel in the trusty Lonely Planet book and the funny owner of the place wouldn't let us forget it! He talked our ear off about how Lonely Planet even put his banana pancakes in the paragraph about his hotel! India is BIG on banana pancakes. Never really figured out why. In Leh they were what we would actually think of as a pancake but in Alleppey they were crepes (what Europeans call pancakes).
WARNING: The following two paragraphs are rated "R" for partial nudity and potentially disturbing images!!
Before we left, it was suggested to me that I get an Ayuvedic massage while in India. I
am ALWAYS up for a massage so I kept my eyes peeled for signs. I was shocked and excited to find that there was an Ayuvedic massage clinic about 50 feet from our hotel! Yuri has had two massages in his life and didn't terribly enjoy either one of them. Not really sure what is wrong with him (: When we walked into the place I figured that he would just wait for me, but instead he told the guy that he would like a massage as well! Keep in mind that we still didn't know exactly what an Ayuvedic massage was! My cute, petite 20 year old girl came to get me followed by a large Indian man to collect Yuri! After my masseuse and I walked into the room, she instructed me to take my clothes off. Ok, that's fine. They do that in the states too but they leave the room while you do it and don't come back until you are nice and cozy under your warm sheets. Well, she didn't move an inch. She didn't even turn around. I was a swimmer in high school so that stuff doesn't really bother me. After all, we
Making us a coconut drink
There is nothing like drinking coconut milk straight from the coconut! all have the same equipment right? It just felt a bit awkward as you can imagine! I was willing to part with the bra but not the chonies! She was not pleased and warned me that they were going to get oil all over them. I was willing to risk it! Now, at this point I was not only worried about myself but I was thinking "Yuri is going to KILL me". Was he also being asked to disrobe by big Indian man? We'll get to Yuri in a little while! My girl instructs me to sit down in a chair and proceeds to pour warm oil all over my hair and body! It felt kind of good but mostly felt dirty! I've never had a massage involving oil before. She eventually had me move to the actual massage table and continued to use LOTS and LOTS of oil! When she asked me to turn over on the table, I thought I was going to kill myself by slipping right off the edge! I felt like a fish on the wet deck of a boat! The massage was nice but to be totally honest, the oil was not my cup
New meaning for waterfront property!
These houses are literally 10 feet from the water. Not a pretty sight when the canals flood. of tea and I couldn't help but wonder what Yuri was doing! I actually thought that he might just tell the man to stop so he could shower and just wait for me in the lobby! Oh yes, one more thing. She was right about the chonies! They were an oily mess. Should have listened to her!
Here is Yuri's story:
As Sarah stated I am usually not one to get a massage. It is not that I do not enjoy them; it is more that I do not enjoy them enough to pay an exorbitant amount of money for one. I did not have this excuse in India (they were $5) and figured it was a good idea to support the local economy. What else was I going to do, sit in my room and read my book? I am on this trip to experience other cultures and I had read that Ayuvedic healing is a integral part of the Indian culture. Plus, when we signed up for our massage the Indian girls were cute and nice, so how bad could it be????? Sarah was summoned for her appointment first by a young, cute Indian girl and
followed her behind the corner to the massage rooms. Left standing in the doorway was an old ugly Indian guy. He was looking at me kind of funny, but there was no way he was a masseur, so I just smiled at him and went back to reading my book. The receptionist then said "Sir are you ready?" I replied "Yes" and went back to reading and waiting for my girl to come for me. Next I was startled when the Indian guy said "Please come with me." Let's get something straight, I have no problems with old ugly Indian guys. I find them, their knowledge, history and their culture very fascinating and love to hear their views on life. But, I do have an issue with an old ugly Indian dude rubbing my body with warm oil. I got up and told the receptionist that there must have been a communication problem and I wanted a girl. The one massage I had in California I got to choose between a woman and a man. The receptionist looked at me like I was from another planet and said "Women get women, men get men." If I would have actually thought
Doing laundry
Suds it up, beat it up, suds it up, beat it up! this through from a cultural standpoint I would have come to this conclusion long before signing up for the massage. But, my Western thinking got me into this uncomfortable situation and I thought to myself the only reason this is uncomfortable is still due to my Western thinking. It is perfectly normal for an Indian man to get a professional massage from another Indian man for the benefit of their health. Plus, I am here for the experiences of the Indian culture and I am comfortable with my body. I think??? So not to make the moment any more embarrassing for me than it already was, I reluctantly followed my new Indian friend to the massage room. When we got into the room he cut right to the chase and told me to take off my clothes. I stripped down to my boxers and then asked "All of my clothes?" He looked at me funny again and said "Yes." I waited for him to look away, but it was a stand-off. So I decided I was all in and off they came. He then came over and was about to help me put on a sumo style, G-string, banana hammock.
I grabbed the cloth before he got too close and told him I could handle it. After struggling with my wrap for a minute with the Indian guy grinning at me, I finally asked for help. He came over and wrapped me up in a second and motioned me to sit on the massage table. Then it began. The massage actually was not too bad and felt good. After an hour of wondering in fear what would happen next he told me to wash up and left me with a hot bucket of water. I washed for over 20 minutes and still could not get all of the oil off of me so I gave up and walked back out to the waiting room. I met Sarah with an awkward grin and we both smiled at each other. Our skin glistened in the moonlight as we laughed at each other while walking back to our hotel. I chalked it up as a one time deal and a cultural experience I will never forget. To say the least, I think my massage days are over.
Ok, well there are our massage stories. No one ever said these blogs weren't going
to involve TMI (too much information)!!! You wanted to experience what we did right? So there ya go (:
Our first full day there was spent cruising all over the backwaters and just enjoying watching local life take place. My favorite thing was to watch the women washing their clothes on the shores of the waterways by beating the crap out of them! They would get the pieces of clothing nice and "sudsy" and then bang them on the steps with amazing strength and power! Everyone should say a thank you to the next washing machine you come across! It was also so cool to see all of the small boats cruising around filled with coconuts, grass, mud, mussel shells, fish, you name it!! They were often on their way to sell their products at a local market!
The pathways along the small inlets were quiet until around 3 pm when the kids were let out of school! That's when a little phrase that goes a little something like this, "pen, pen, pen, pen, pen" started filling our ears. Muzungu (remember that is how you say "white people" in Swahili) are certainly known for many things around the
The Keralan ice cream truck!
You think I'm kidding? This man had a barrel full of ice cream on the back of his bike, a spoon and cups! The only thing he was missing was the annoying music. He was even crusing around at prime time - when the kids let out of school! world. However, I would have to say that this was the first time in my life that I felt like I looked like a freaking BIC pen dispenser! Granted, at first I thought it was cute and funny. Not so funny after saying "I don't have any pens" 50 times though! Don't have any pens? Fine, give me your sunglasses! Not gonna happen kid! Now I might sound like I am being awfully harsh but these kids had a great life. NOTHING like some of the conditions we had encountered thus far. They had plenty of writing utencils in their school I'm sure. They just wanted a pen to sell.
We left the house of amazing banana pancakes and spent our last two nights in Alleppey on a houseboat. Houseboats are something that have sprung up VERY quickly in the backwaters of Kerala. Twenty years ago there wasn't such a thing. Now they are building them faster than they can cut down bamboo trees for supplies! It has also become "the thing to do" when in Kerala. Tourists are flocking to Kerala to see the backwaters via houseboat. We were no exception! I will sum up our activites
on this houseboat with the following:
Get up, EAT, read, EAT, read, EAT, read, EAT, go on a short walk while we are docked, EAT, get eaten alive by flying creatures, EAT and go to bed! We never even had the opportunity to get hungry! You would think that we would have just opted to eat a little less at the next meal but it was TOO good. I am now not only in love with Indian food, I am intrigued by Keralan food! At one point we stopped at a small village and walked around for a little while. I found a small Keralan food cookbook that we didn't have room for but I insisted we have! When we got back to the boat, I showed the cook some of the pictures in the book because they were the same things he had been making. He got really excited (he didn't speak any English) when he saw one of the meals displayed on a banana leaf. We had lunch about 1 hour later.......... on a banana leaf!! It didn't occur to me that it wasn't the original plan to serve us our lunch on a banana leaf but Yuri
later told me that he saw them get off of the boat to pick the banana leaves!! I guess that's why he got so excited! Much of what he was making was on that picture so he just wanted to add the final touch!! There was even a full banana in the picture (as a decoration I'm sure) so when they served us lunch they also put a banana on the side. It was SO cute! We had to take a picture.
In between all of the eating, we did witness some amazing scenery, and duck herding! You could smell them and hear them long before you could see them, but there were THOUSANDS of ducks swimming straight towards our boat. None of them seemed to be able to fly, nor did they seem to be diving down to get food. There were two men behind them in boats herding them along. Just after they passed us, the men herded them up onto land and I'm assuming down into some sort of pen. Out for their daily swimming exercise? Out for an afternoon snack? I'm not real sure what the purpose of having these guys swim around was. We
Hitchin
The houseboats would slow down to let man-powered boats grab on. I thought that was really cool (: did see their fate on a few menus though!
Upon rolling ourselves off of our houseboat, our eager and excited rickshaw driver was there to meet us. He had picked us up at the hotel and delivered us to the houseboat on the first day and wanted to come back and get us when it was over! This man was no ordinary rickshaw driver. After approximately five minutes of driving towards our destination, he pulls over to the side of the road to show us his "brag book", for lack of a better term. You know those books that hotels or restaurants have you sign and they want you to say how great they are? Well he had one of those for his rickshaw!! "This was the friendliest rickshaw driver we have ever had. Thanks"! Stuff like that. It was a trip. Anyhow, he wanted to drive us all the way back to Cochin in his rickshaw. This was an 1.5 hour drive in a taxi so it would take even longer in a rickshaw. Not to mention that they aren't the safest forms of transportation. After all, they only have three wheels. However, I lost this battle because
Yuri thought that it sounded "fun". Yes honey, "fun" but DANGEROUS!! Obviously everything ended up fine with the exception to the fact that the greatest rickshaw driver in the world took us to the wrong place! He basically didn't listen to us and then told us he couldn't go to the part of Cochin we needed to go to! We had to take another rickshaw to our hotel. We booked ourselves into a fancy hotel that evening and enjoyed the air conditioning very much!
Off to the hippie land of Goa! See you there!
Oh yes, if you ever go to India GO TO KERALA. It's awesome (:
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