India: the love – hate relationship and meeting people...

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You know, it is strange, but traveling on your own takes it out of you. And there comes a time you fed up of seeing dirt and garbage in the streets or seeing people just throwing it out of the train into nature, or having beggars following you all the time and Rickshaw drivers asking for three times the amount a journey would normally cost. If you face a troubled stomach on top of that, the culture shock is at its worst and you start hating everything around you. Especially getting into contact with people is so difficult as you never know what their intentions may be. In the end you get suspicious of everyone.

BUT! I turned the corner now! I am so happy. Words cannot express how I feel right now. Because I have started to love India. With all its chaos, dirt and trickery, I think I finally may have found the clue to understand and really appreciate this culture. Even though I still have a long way to go and I may never fully understand, at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel…

Last time I wrote from the Sai Baba Ashram. Unfortunately we could not do much there, as our stomachs commanded us to stay indoors for most of the time. But we attended the ceremony at night twice. At that ceremony you come together in a big sort of temple and sit down until the charismatic person (Sai Baba in this case) shows up to make his blessing. One thing you learn very quickly in India: Religion is a living thing. And the worship of charismatic people like Jesus, Mohammed or Buddha gets underlined by the fact that charismatic people walk the face of India even today. Hinduism is at the root of everything. Even the Christians, Muslims and other believers deeply respect the Gods who have created and who protect India. Usually all religions lived peacefully together, but it is gradually starting to change. The Sai Baba Ashram Experience was challenging for me. As most of you know, I am not a religious person. And I am usually very critical when it comes to that topic. The one thing which impressed me most, was not that person everyone pinned all hopes on, but the atmosphere and the dynamics the people created themselves just by sitting together. We were thousands sitting on the floor, and that for me was enough to create a special moment. What I did not like in this Ashram was that women and men were strictly separated. At ceremonies, at meals, different shopping hours, even for buying an ice cream there were separate cues. Now if you want to learn to live with each other and respect one another as individuals and not merely as sexual partners, then spirituality needs to be shared. I think it is nonsense to argue that you should avoid distraction. We are not animals, we are humans with brains and faith and we should be able to control ourselves.

Leoni left on Thursday, back to Germany. And I am on my own now. So I decided to come back to Bangalore and to stay at Olga's place for a while before setting off for the north. That was the best decision. I had such a wonderful time, because at last I met people with whom I could get into deep conversation. That finally gave me the kick into the right direction and also gave me so many hints as to understand Indian culture. The first day of my arrival was not too successful because I tried to go and book a train ticket for Delhi. But in India you need to book three months in advance, or you try your luck and go onto a waiting list, or you try for special quotas. I was worried that I may not be lucky at all. Mark my words: here you say – you are lucky to succeed in something which in Germany it is normal! But I got the ticket, and I took no chances this time: I booked all my train tickets for the north in advance! Next stops will be: Delhi – Amritsar (where the Sikh's golden temple is) – Haridwar (where the Ganges flows from the Himalayas into the valley) – Varanasi (where people go to die if they want to get to Nirvana directly without needing to be reborn again) – Agra (home of the Taj Mahal).

Meeting people was the best thing I experienced the last few days. The Indian motto is: why simple if you can make it complicated – it's more fun that way. One Indian told me, that way every day gets to be different. Would be dull having the same every day, organization spoils everything. He laughed: although I have seen Europe and I admire German correctness and efficiency, I prefer the dirt and the noise and to argue with people about things you cannot change and I want to die in this mess. Usually people in India wobble their head from side to side when talking, which can mean yes, maybe, yes and no, I don't know, and many other things. Conversation here is all or nothing. As Rowina tells me (Olga's friend who's husband once was an ambassador for India): India only knows black and white – there is no grey. Instead of finding a compromise you drop it all together and pick up something totally different. I can laugh about that now, even though I still get frustrated at times. One question you get asked a lot is: where do you come from? When I go shopping I normally say I am from Latvia, as most people here don't know it and won't talk to me in my language to try and sell their stuff. But last time I was honest: from Germany. “ah! Germany!” sais the Rickshaw driver “that is next to Japan, right?”. “No” I say “it is in Europe”. “OK. So do you follow Cricket?” (all Indians are mad about Cricket, even though Hockey is their national sport). “I'm sorry” I reply “I don't know much about Cricket” (every street child in India plays it). “Hm” said the driver, trying to think of another topic: money! “You know” he sais “money is not important! Honor is much more valuable because you get respected. If you are rich and have no honor – nobody will respect you”. “True” I say “so you lead a totally honorable life?”.”Yes, totally” he replies and I smile: “so, you never cheat?” and the driver starts laughing “of course that is something totally different. With good people I don't cheat, but bad people I cheat”. But with me he wanted to be fair, so that I should not go back to my country telling everyone: all Indians cheat. I did not tell him that he was the first one not trying to cheat me.

Olga took me to several lunches to meet her friends. The first lunch was with the “Cheers-Group”, a group of widowed women who were very cheerful. Being together, having good food and chatting was a wonderful experience. Of course all women warned me to be very careful when traveling alone. I had to promise them all to take very good care of myself. Today was another lunch at a friend's place who had just moved down from Delhi. I very rarely had so much fun, excitement and lively conversation. We were all at ease and talked freely about family and jobs and this and that. I of course asked about many cultural details. For example how weddings were organized. In India being married is still very important. The hostess was so sweet, always up and about to refill glasses, dishing out food and being anxious everything was really really ok. I love Indian humor! The women were telling jokes, dropping their voices dramatically, rolling their eyes and exploding with laughter. All of the women wanted to know exactly where I was from, who my family was and what I was doing. I had to tell the story of how my parents met in Germany as Olga told the group that they should not miss out on this story! All of them listened attentively while I told the story of my parents and how we made cultural mixes work and how love and respect just helps to get rid of all boundaries. “How lovely” they all sighed. Talking about faith is also very important in conversation as is Cricket or how corrupt politicians are. I felt so welcome and was accepted so easily in the group, that I straight away felt as if I had known them all for long and was one of them. It was amazing what warmth was transmitted and shared among everyone. I am so grateful for this day! I got nice pictures of the ladies. Some in very beautiful Sarees. “Oh! You should have told us we have to pose for pictures” scolded the ones who did not wear a Saree, but then laughed again. By the way, I got my special silk Saree finished today, complete with Petticoat and Blouse. I am very happy.

This is all for now, pictures will be uploaded later and my next resume will come from the north…

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