A Friend on a Date

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April 14th 2011
Published: April 14th 2011EDIT THIS ENTRY

Before the Date

So, I face an intriguing scenario today.

The girl I asked out is bringing a friend with her.

At first, I was a bit taken aback by it. But I can understand some reasons for it. To me, it means that:

1. She's shy, insecure or uncomfortable being with me alone. Understandable as we have not known each other long + significant age gap.
2. She wants a second opinion on me or just to gossip about me after the date is over. Trying to get a feel if I'm just a perv getting one last shot at college tail or if I am actually interested in her.
3. She doesn't interpret this as a date and is bringing a friend to symbolize that this is a "just friends" relationship.
4. She is trying to hook me up with her friend.

I think it's a combination of 1 and 2. She sounded very excited to see me upon me asking her out (called it lucky/fate). So, I can't imagine it being just wanting to be friends only (without actually having the date). Seems to be all or nothing. She may also be inexperienced with dating. It's also a good way for her to bail if things get kind of weird. I hear that unlike America it's pretty common for first-time dates in China.

If I knew for sure it was #3, I'd keep C-Student D along to make it a double date. He's single, shy around women and it'd be nice to see him get a girlfriend. But if it isn't, then I lose out on both of them. Not worth the risk here. Gotta hope he leaves before they get here or gracefully exits early in the date.

#4 is a sneaky move, but again she was interested in seeing me. So, I think this is unlikely.

Now that they're both coming, I have 3 options:

1. Spend more time with her than the friend - Probably expected, but it makes the friend feel like a third wheel.
2. Even time distribution - Creates a "let's be friends" environment. A nice play if shit goes bad on the date
3. The Mystery Method - Talk almost exclusively with her friend while using the cat-string theory on the girl. It creates a sense of jealously among the two girls. It keeps you in their minds and if you have a decent amount of charm, you should be able to lock up one of the two.

The nice guy way of doing things is to talk more with the girl, but keep the friend in check by engaging her a bit. The Mystery Method was developed by legendary pick-up artist Mystery and if I was high-level relationship material, I'd do it. My foreigner status puts me a bit higher, but I can't imagine that boosting me high enough to be able to pull off The Mystery Method. If I do, it screams to them that I am a player. While it is true that I am just playing the field in China at the moment, being a player has a negative connotation that I would prefer people not to know.

Choosing a coffee house was the right move. Low-risk high reward situation. Either I bail after my first cup or have a great conversation that can last for a while. I have low expectations for this beyond today due to the sudden nature (for both of us) of this event. But we shall see what happens.


After the Date

Well, I didn't have to worry about using The Mystery Method as the friend she brought was a guy. That was a bit surprising but the date went quite swimmingly, especially for barely knowing what the girl looked like and scheduling the date at the last minute. We spoke almost non-stop for about 90 minutes (I had to get a napkin and another time some iced office drink) over nothing more than some coffee. Occasionally, I would try to engage the guy she brought to keep him awake. But he spent a most of the time sleeping (literally), which is a major bonus as it means that he felt that I was a good guy and didn't need to worry about bailing her out.

I invoked the personality of my father during the date. I can really see why people who knew both of us think I am like him. My father was the king of bullshit conversations and it seems that I am taking after him. I didn't have his confidence when I was in college, but it seems that I am starting to get that and it's paying off.

I think that she is a bit more than Female Target as in she is more than hedonistic thoughts, but I can't put her into anything more than that just yet.

Funnier was seeing Nerdy CG coming in with two girls. I joked that he had two girlfriends. Would be awesome if he could pull that off.

I left before the caffeine started screwing me up. It was really bad once I got to my room. My body wants to sleep, but the caffeine is keeping me awake. I have learned my limit with caffeine just as I did with alcohol. Really, I can't really drink a lot of caffeine at all. It just screws up my head.

I need to try and sleep. Good day. Friday is a do-nothing day. Saturday, I'm going to Guanggu with Nerdy CG and C-Student D . I'd like to see what they have for video camcorders and get some sunglasses.


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