Story Reconstruction Effort (Part 1)

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My first order of business in updating this so-called blog thingie, is to tell you my immediate history.

So.

Today I had my medical exam. Actually, yesterday I had it, but I'm writing as if it were yesterday today okay? All foreign teachers are required to have a physical before being legally accepted to work in China, because they want to make sure that we're not carrying dread diseases like AIDS. Which I for one certainly am not.

It was funny--I had to go all the way to the school at 8 am to meet my Chinese translator, so that we could take a taxi to the medical center which turned out to be at the end of my apartment's block. It wasn't a medical center like in the US. It was more like a license bureau, complete with forms and bureaucracy.

Although we showed up at 9:30, it was another hour before we got to do the exam--first, because I didn't have the 2x2 photos of myself that the school was supposed to give me, and I had to run down to a kiosk next door to get them done for 25 RMB; second, because they wanted me to fill out the form a second time in Chinese.

For reference, guys, I am 54.5 kilograms and 170 centimeters tall, leaving me with a BMI of 18.4--just skinny enough to be underweight. Maybe it was because I didn't eat breakfast. I wasn't allowed to. I had to undergo a blood test.

Due to this, I was starving when I got out. I hadn't had anything to eat since the night before at my "welcome dinner", which is basically just an excuse for Foreign Teachers to get drunk, as I perceive it (you will notice Chinese Teachers are largely uninvited). They literally force you to get drunk, which is something that frankly disgusts me, and I couldn't do it anyway because the drink of choice is Baijiu. Baijiu, for the blissfully ignorant, is about 52% alcohol. The other 48% is some combination of type-setting ink and liquid agony.

I mention that because I kept using my medical exam as an excuse--which may or may not have earned me permanent ostracision from the local expatriate community. Ah well. I was starving when I went into dinner as well, because I hadn't eaten lunch. Or breakfast.

And I was just as starving the next day after my medical exam, as you will remember. I really craved the greasy, unhealthy warmth of KFC's popcorn chicken--but when I hiked over to the local KFC, I was sad to discover that, 1. I couldn't read the menu, and 2. I couldn't say the word for "one large popcorn chicken" and "fries". There weren't any pictures to point to. I stood there for ten minutes trying to figure out a solution before walking away, leaving behind a puddle of tears and hunger.

I'm STILL hungry 36 hours later, by the way. But that's ok. I can handle it. I bought some dumplings at the RT Mart, and they're quite nourishing. Little stuffed dumplings, here I come!!

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