Guaranteed to cough to death

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New photos on:
http://s251.photobucket.com/albums/gg311/draftwrite/

…..sorry, my second supposedly monthly newsletter is already running late. Studying for a degree cuts into my time. Why didn't someone tell me that before I started?. Now Travelblog has seen fit to "improve" its photo uploading capability so now, as is common with such improvements, the new system, despite installing the latest Flash Player as instructed, doesn't work, the old uploader doesn't work either. Damn it! I wish these geeks would just remember, if it ain't broke, don't fix it!!! Just follow the link to Photobucket, (above)..... (it appears to be working now ...!) .....

…..looking at my photos Chinese friends are wowed by Australia's clean air, beautiful beaches, lack of crowds. They accept crowds as a fact of life & don't get as edgy as we space-loving foreigners in a crush. However they sometimes yearn for solitude in a beautiful natural setting. When they do go in search of it though, to places like the stunningly beautiful Huang Shan, (Yellow Mountain), it's usually when everyone else has time off, during public holidays, so the narrow steps up precipitous mountain paths overlooking the sublime views are being sought by thousands of others at the same time.....

…..not so much a soft-shoe shuffle, more a crap-shoe shuffle. It's not a piece of tape stuck to the underside of my 2 week old shoe. It's the sole parting company with the upper. I have to drag my foot around the class so it doesn't fall off completely, much to my students' amusement. I retaliate by telling them not to buy shoes made in China. Now I have to remember to take them back to Shanghai next time I go & try to get replacements or a refund.....

…..Chinese people know the internet is monitored, blocked, restricted & otherwise screwed around with but, because the Chinese based websites generally load quickly, stream audio & video without problems they are not so aware of it. Why the subtle distinction between “know” & “aware”. When a site loads quickly & you can access it there's no indication of what's been omitted or erased. We foreigners however bear the full brunt of sites based outside China being slow to load, subject to what we can only assume to be random, whimsical blocking, when a site will be accessible one week & maybe not the next. Some companies cite this, along with the air quality, as reasons for not doing business in China.....

…..so, finally, I have reluctantly committed to paying ¥600, (around $100) a year for the China Telecom connection. This does not avoid the Chinese Internet BS but, I'm told cuts out one level of frustration, the school's overloaded server. If that isn't enough I'll have to fork out another $100 a year for a VPN, (Virtual Private Network for all my fellow acronym ignorami). It's an investment in personal health, to lower the risk of a cardiac arrest while trying to perform a simple task that, in a less paranoid environment, would be completed in a couple of minutes.....

…..If the air here doesn't get me the blood pressure from dealing with the BS, POS so-called internet that would probably make Afghanistan & the Congo appear state of art probably will. The man from China Net arrived install my new, improved connection. A new Chinese innovation; the cableless cable-guy. He was about to depart leaving the box that was supposed to make it work hanging by the ethernet cable & my laptop pulled halfway off the desk as the cable he used was too short. I told him to fix it so he cobbled together another length of cable, twisted them together & wound some tape around them. It still can't always manage to download some of the audio-visual files for my degree course. It's supposed to bypass the overloaded, steam-powered server at the school. Thus far it's working like a snail with a tranquiliser dart in its backside … unless I want to watch Chinese TV on a local website.....

…..the reason all this passes largely under the radar here, among the general population is this. The Chinese sites, which can be easily monitored & controlled, work a treat. They load quickly, & on all but the days of total cyber-constipation Chinese & foreign TV shows, movies etc. can be streamed onto your computer without a glitch. Most Chinese don't know enough English to use foreign sites. Those that do & are computer literate find means, like the ones I currently use, proxy software that's free on the 'Net but which can't always be relied on to stay connected. Imagine if, say in Australia, the government suddenly blocked all Chinese language websites. Most people wouldn't really notice, For most of you it wouldn't affect your daily life one bit & though it might merit a quick mention in the news it wouldn't be, in Johnny Howard's phrase, “a barbeque stopper”. Big Brother can easily control what goes on in this environment, people know he does it but they can still buy goods on Tabao & watch soapies on Tudou so all is well in the Middle Kingdom.....

…..technology moves on. The on/off switch on my electronic dictionary & translator, the second since I accidentally sat on the first one & cracked the screen, has started to malfunction. I need an Android equivalent for my phone & tablet. Oh no! I'll have to download it ….. from the Internet.....

…..the name of the new nominee as American Ambassador to China is causing some hilarity. His name, Max Baucus, was wittily transliterated to “Mei ke si Bao ke si”, as close as you'll get using Chinese characters that translate as, “Not cough to death, Guaranteed to cough to death”!.....

…..trying to teach my students short responses this week, “I can, I can't, I like it, don't like it, etc.” They are just practising what they already know by & large. However “neither”, seems to completely stump most of them. “I can't fly”. “Me too” is their more comfortable, if grammatically incorrect response, rather than “Neither can I”. Even though we're not really supposed to use any Chinese in our English classes I equate “neither” with “ye bu”, (“also not”) the way they'd say it in Chinese, (“I also not can”), then just practice using “neither”. You haven't got a better idea? I also not have.....

…..a way to explain to an English speaker why writing Chinese is so difficult. You know when you're not quite sure if the spelling of a word is right after you've written it, facetious, manoeuvre, etc. You wouldn't have a problem recognising it if you just had to read it from a list of words though. Imagine if you had the same problem with the letters &, instead of 26 there were thousands of them. Welcome to China.....

…..the Spanish I'm learning this trimester is, not surprisingly, more accessible than Chinese. An immense amount more is available from context & similarity to English words. “los meses del ano”: followed by a list of 12 items starting, “enero, febrero” & ending with, “noviembre, diciembre”, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out “mes” & “ano” are, “month & year”. Mike, a teacher who was married to a Mexican woman in the US, & Sofia, our Argentinian English teacher, are both busy most of the time with extra students or, in Sofia's case, teaching yoga, so plans to practice speaking Spanish are limited to “Hola, ¿Cómo estás?” & “Muy bien, gracias”, at breakfast.....

…..I had no idea of the meanings of so many Spanish words I have heard or seen in names, songs, place names or old westerns until this month! Amarillo: (yellow), Domingo: (Sunday), Julio: (July), montana: (mountain), mesa: (table).....

…..great story from my colleague & fellow musician, Steve, about how the Chinese are challenging western nations in the dubious art of conspicuous consumption. On a walk near the Old Canal in Yangzhou he heard loud music. On turning round he observed a large, urban Vankerwagen, y'know, those oversized SUVs used for shopping trips & school runs. The driver was making his way slowly down Taizhou Lu, smoking, stereo blaring & windows down so that he could hold onto the leash as he walked his dog along the pavement.....

…..student answer of the week goes to Model Steven, (according to the list that's his English name!). On going round seeing if they have understood the concept of consequences in English; examples like, 'If you own a pet ...(what will the consequence be) …you will have less free time', 'If you eat less sugar … you might feel healthier'. They seem ready to branch out & give their own responses. More than ready. I try one we've already been through with the class. “Model Steven, if you don't get married ….”. A sly smirk, then, “If you don't get married you will become good friends with your hand”. There's really no answer to that.....

…..the interview for Yangzhou Radio 94.9FM's music programme went tolerably well in a noisy coffee bar, though it's nerve-wracking trying to make sense in a language in which you're not fluent. Thankfully there's always the music to fill in the gaps.....

…..”No Smoking, Violatoser will be prosecuted”, (from a sign at the Le Yuan Amusement Park, where Shane & I are accompanying our school excursion). Great word, violatoser, possibly a portmanteau blend of “violator” & “tosser”. A suitable title for the current Australian Prime Minister?.....

…..talking of violatosers, the leader of the Traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan is tired of “a few rogue Klansmen” ruining the group’s reputation, and argues that the group is a non-violent Christian organization. "We want to stay white,” Ancona said. “It's not a hateful thing to want to maintain white supremacy." Well now, that's reassuring, isn't it.....

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Photos

Spring, Shou Xi Hu, Yangzhou
The 5 Pavilions Bridge & the White Tower in the background

Dave, Selene, Steve
Radio interview, Sculpting in Time Cafe, Yangzhou

World's Worst Busker, Wenchang Lu, Yangzhou
...with possibly the world's worst guitar.

Singer, Half Lotus Bar, Yangzhou
Didn't catch his name. Intense guy, Chinese songs, nice guitar style

Flag Raising, School, Yangzhou
Monday morning ritual for most of the school & teachers

School Excursion, Le Yuan, Suzhou
Getting in...

Chinglish, School Excursion, Le Yuan, Suzhou
Violatoser ... a word the English language NEEDS.

Spring, Shou Xi Hu, Yangzhou
Shou Xi Hu, (Slender West Lake), Yangzhou's premier park

Spring, Shou Xi Hu, Yangzhou
Penjing, (adopted in Japan as bonsai). A remarkable new exhibition centre at the park