Oh my God, my Granddaughter is becoming a Communist!

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Oh my God, my Granddaughter is becoming a Communist!

For those that do not know me, this was a statement my dear Grandfather made hugging my Grandmother as he wept in her arms after a dinner conversation with my sister. She had been in college for a year and had some pretty liberal ideas about how the world is supposed to be. It brings laughter and tears at the same time when I tell that story to my friends.

As I sit in here early in the morning I am struggling with what to write. I think what is best is to just let it flow; follow the advice of my first entry…”Don’t think son”.

I think what I am feeling is tiredness. Lord knows I am a workaholic to some degree but I think I sometimes take it to the extreme. I find my worth, test my mettle, and try to figure out the world and all its craziness as I sit behind the safety of a desk. I find myself doing that here, and it feels comfortable to do, but why? Habit, habit, habit. This was not the reason I came to China, I think I am still struggling with the reasons, perhaps because they were so clear when I first left, but now that I am here LIFE happened. Strange as it sounds life to me was supposed to be a planned event, birth, school, marriage, kids, middle age, retirement and then death. I never planned to be anything; I just thought it would all workout.

I suppose some of you that read this may be wondering “What the fuck?!?!” but it’s true, I had no clue as to what life is about, and I probably still don’t. Here are a few things I have learned though and it helps me smile and perhaps make the struggle to be a little less painful:

1. Love is not something that will ever go away. As much as you would want to have it disappear, it will always be there for you to accept

2. Never stop trying. If you stop then you failed.

3. Give it away; there is no sense in keeping your true gifts locked away in your mind or soul.

4. Honor the past but let it lie with the sleeping dogs

5. If all else fails, as my mom says…Smile and wear beige, but I will add this…make sure you are keeping a list…and some good scotch in a flask somewhere.

Till next time, stay warm, and take care.

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Comments

[Ann/Mom]

Love
Your love comes through with your stories. I hope you will continue to take advantage of your writing talent. It is truly one of your many talents and something you have that you can "Give away" as you said in the recent blog.