Anatomy of a fall

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Experiencing fall in another country for some may just mean the passing of time till you go home or the return to natural colors that invade the white spaces of our black and white world here in China.

For me it’s the latter, I love colors, I miss the large Canadian Maple tree that would go from a bright red, to golden yellow, to brown, all the while staring at me through my window as if saying…”I am even more beautiful as I fall sleep than I am when I am alive”. Perhaps that is the tone set by fall, the world around us never sleeps, and it now more than ever reminds me that we have to be fully awake every moment of our lives, but, there is a peace that comes over us as we slowly fall asleep, just after the voice’s stop, “what are you doing, we are you going, and who the fuck is this talking to me as I try to get some rest”. I love sleep, I love all dreams both good, bad, erotic, silly, stupid, bizarre, it lets me know that the conscious world is just as good, bad, erotic, silly, stupid and bizarre as the dream world.

I am reminded of a conversation I had with a dear friend a few weeks ago. That we have not had a chance to catch our breathes lately, (btw he was referring to Americans but I think it applies to the whole world as well) I think the world just needs to have a rest. We have beaten ourselves, our planet, our humanity, and our souls with this 24/7, always on, text messaging, email using, 30 second headline grabbing world to make ourselves enriched, but what have we done accomplished lately. North Korea still defies the nuclear world, Iraq is getting worse everyday, the blogger’s all over the world are blaming Bush for the Hurricanes, all the while as we sit back and play armchair quarterbacks from the safety of the real world. I am part of this world, I do armchair things sometimes, but, slowly realizing that as long as I am part of something that doesn’t do anything about it, then I am part of the problem.

I watch the China around me hunker down for the coming winter, I notice gloves and scarves being donned, a certain moroseness taking shape, the smiles are less, the ‘Hello’s are not as frequent and those thousand yard stares are now two thousand. I hope that the fall brings all the colors of the spectrum to my life, I miss them and what I really hope is that just maybe, maybe, China along with myself will find the maple of our dreams to add a little color to our lives.

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Comments

[rick]

wonderful thinking
You are a gifted thinker and communicater man, love this stuff and you. I also long for fall colors