Advertisement
Published: April 16th 2006
Emergency exits?
Beertjie considers his tactical options should he need to vacate the train in a rushTeam extraction complete, the elite members of the Beertjie Brigade, Beertjie (Andy), Chewy (Wayne), Nicns (Nic) and operations specialist Crocodile George arrived in Hong Kong to little fanfare. The beginning of this mission however has not been straightfoward stealth tactics. In the first 24 hours the team almost lost Crocodile to a brief encounter with the Third Kind.....but that's another story.
Awaiting Nicns arrival at 3:30pm, Beertjie, Chewy and Crocodile landed in Hong Kong at 8am and decided to hit the town, or the island in this case. Jet-lagged from 6 crappy 4x6cm movies, off-the-shelf DIY sleeping pills, and that smell that is
so quintessential Asian, we headed straight for the oldest British pub in Hong Kong,
The Old China Hand in Wan Chai district - we figured we could grab a bite and even catch the Super 14 game between the Blues and Force. We took the MTR (subway) and hopped on the World famous Star Ferry and crossed from Kowloon to Hong Kong Island. Contemplating our budget we opted for the pub lunch Nachos-draught combo special at the cutthroat price of R112 each.
While Beertjie tried to figure out why people on this small planet would charge
One day this will all be mine
Chewy shows Crocodile Richmond Brothers Ltd Offices while aboard the Star Ferry their fellow homosapiens such prices, Chewy called up Richmond Brothers company secretary Peter Chu. We were only supposed to rendevous with Pete after 5pm, but when he heard we were in town already (and that infamous Crocodile George was with us) he dropped work to join us in the pub. It was not long before we were in full swing colonial Hong Kong, the beer was flowing, and Beertjie found his dukebox rhythm dumping at least R55 repeating Robbie Wiliams
Come Undone.
Eight draughts, and a vodka tonic later we took up Pete on his suggestion that we take a tram up the Peak to kill some time - apparently good views. This seemed a pretty good idea as it would in all likelihood save us about R920 in drinks and stale peanuts...
idiots! It would have been money well spent.
We walked up, down, and around a small mountain for about 2 hours and managed to see trees, smog, and one bird which appeared to be seriously lost. Just as we began to curse Nic for being so inconsiderate to have chosen the later flight, we got the sms that saved our trip - the team strategist had
What a Special!
Beertjie celebrates the killer nachos-draught combo special at R112 each landed! We quickly left Peter and the mountain agreeing to meet up with him at 5pm at the airport station to go to Guangzhou.
We hurried to Kowloon Station to meet Nic. By now, jet lag was beginning to take its toll and Beertjie collapsed across 4 seats in the terminal much to the constenation of the smaller locals. Crocodile and Chewy, both keen
bodyforlifers, meanwhile broke their
eat healthy ethos and snuck off to McDonalds for a dodgy looking cheeseburger and sprite.
Silhouetted against the smog that drifted about the train tracks appeared the sleek figure of Nicns, strolling toward us as if he had just disembarked a Nasa spaceshuttle. We all rejoiced, hugged and danced the jig in celebration and proceeded to throw a couple of high fives seriously frigthening the janitor. Feeling brave now that we were a unit, we called up Pete and told him we would not be meeting him at the airport anymore, we would make the 2 and a half hour trip to Guangzhou ourselves and see him there that night.
Both Chewy and Beertjie have previoulsy made the train trip and Chewy was convinced it could be done without
Show me the money!
Richmond Brothers Ltd with Secretary Peter too much hassle. We halied a taxi and traveled from Kowloon station to Hung Hom Railway station. Backpacks firmly fastened we strode into the station trying not to look like we did not have a clue where the ticket counter was. That we could not speak the language and better resembled the Congolese than the Chinese did not concern us - we considered ourselves locals.
We walked past a conglomeration of Eastern Europeans and a couple of rather large Nigerians all huddling their tour guide...we gave the me little more than a contemptuous glance -
bloody tourists, can't do anything on their own!. It was then that we were told in somewhat decent English that all the direct trains to Guangzhou were fully booked for the next few days. Being the largest Trade show in China the Canton Fair attracts some 150,000 foreign visitors over 5 days, so it is not altogether surprising that the already stretched Chinese transport system takes a knock over this period.
But if you're thinking this worried us think again - this team was not a random selection of Beertjie Brigade bottom pickers - we are the elite of the elite...and besides, we
Let's go again...
Crocodile and Beertjie show their enthusiasm for the Hong Kong Peak tour have Crocodile. Feeling pretty invincible and inspired by a smog-sheared 1987 poster of Chuck Norris, we decided to take the alternative route.
At this stage, it is important to clarify two points. First, the correlation between geography and the
degree of broken english available - the further north you head from Hong Kong Island the more broken the English becomes. When you cross the border into mainland China,
English is merely a xenophobic slur. So unless your Cantonese is up to scratch, you had better have be the a leading Pictionary player if you want to get anywhere. Second, although HK is part of China now, there remains an administrative difference and you are still required to cross the border and customs as if it were a separate country. This means that in you must pass through pasport control. The express train to Guangzhou is convenient in that this takes place on the train. In addition to getting on and off of trains, the alternative route means one must now pass through customs on foot......along with the other 500,000 Chinese comrades that do so each day.
We purchased tickets to the border town of Lo Wu and boarded
The calm before....
Nicns and Crocodile sneak a rest while awaiting the platform announcement to find no seats available (signs of thing to come) but promptly squatted on our life support system - the backpack. An hour later we rolled into Lo Wu and quickly learned that in terms of directions, when in China follow the proletariat. We hussled into HK customs and passed through relatively easily. We then walked up to the Chinese immigration officials and after qeueing for a while, we all made it through unscathed. Finally - we were in Red China, undetected!
We had to walk about 500 metres across the border into Shenzhen and found the local train station where we werre to buy tickets onward to Guangzhou. We entered the station where half of China must have been at that precise moment. It was choas - people everywhere, even the Chinese looked lost. We managed to find a queue and soon realised another minor problem - when you cross the border the currency also changes from HK dollars to Chinese RMB or Yaun, and we did not have any Yaun...like Jerry MacQuire, only he speaks English. Chewy stood in line while the others went to scout an ATM machine, and returned just in time for Chewy to
Comrades on Chinese soil....at last
The elite members of the Beertjie Brigade pose in Shenzhen, mainland China. reach the ticket booth. Tickets bought we entered the waiting hall - chaos part two.
We quickly made friends with a dutch guy and his Chinese wife who helped point out to us that our train was scheduled for 19h20 - it was 17h55 and we were not keen on hanging around for another hour so we took their advice and simply walked onto the platform intent on catching the next train to Guangzhou.....apparently everyone else had the same idea.
However, the platform conductor does not announce the correct platform until the train is about to arrive, so you have about 100 people constantly harrassing this little suited guy for the secret information. As a result he scurries from corner to corner trying not to stand in one place for too long for fear of somebody managing to crack him. We were going to send in Crocodile to extract the platform number as his height is a distinct advantage in China, but quickly rethought this strategy when it appeared we may never see him again. We all sat around for about an hour before suddenly there was a mad rush as people of all ages and like sprinted
The Grin
Nicns manages to control his glee in securing a prized vacated train seat during the epic journey to Platform 5 - someone had leaked the info!
We queued outside the train and carefully shuffled onboard and grabbed the nearest seats and stored our backpacks overhead. However, just when we thought we were about to leave, the train got fuller, and fuller until nobody could move in or out. To make things worse, we were kicked out of our seats (Chewy by an unforgiving Chinese 5 yr old who had a serious attitude problem) - we were on the wrong train, and the wrong carriage. Everybody not seated was clearly on the wrong train, but no-one was moving off. So we sat there as officals pleaded with some patrons to get off so the train could leave - but we did not have a choice. We were firmly embedded.
Crocodile began to talk about getting a taxi to take us instead. This is like taking a taxi from Durban to Harrismith, so we were a little hesitant at the suggestion. 30 minutes later and we were in agreement - taxi, but we could not move - we were stuck on a train that was not going anywhere. Just as Crocodile was talking about chartering a small
The Opium Den
The Beertjie Brigade elite members get much needed R&R at the local massage parlour jet, the train began to move and we sighed with relief.
Standing for 1 and a half hours on a packed train is not easy even for elite members of the Beertjie Brigade. Tempers began to flare when Nicns managed to move in on a prized seat vacated at the first station stop. It was his incessant grin that did not endear him to Beertjie who by now was balled up on the aisle floor. He and Crocodile had to take turns on the floor since there was not enough space for both to squat at the same time. Time seemed to stand still but eventually we made it to Guangzhou, 4 and a half hours later.
We proceeded to get two taxis and Chewy handed the hotel address details to the driver of Beertjie and Crocodiles taxi. Chewy and Nicns were to follow in the taxi behind......good plan, poor execution. We lost them immediately, but somehow, our taxi managed to find the hotel without a problem while Crocodile and Beertjie were forced out of their taxi at some other location....the driver having decided he could not find the place and needed to move on to new customers (Nicns and I suspect that Crocodile unleashed some slang Cantonese he had picked up in the last 4 hours and that pissed the driver off). After a phone call and some intutitive strategy by Nicns, Beertjie and Crocodile arrived at our hotel intact. So concluded our journey to Guangzhou.
The night was still young, and the elite members were not to be disuaded from a couple of cold ones at the local masage parlour......indeed, a whole new experience, one to which an entitre entry can be dedicated.
More to come........
Advertisement
Tot: 0.099s; Tpl: 0.011s; cc: 10; qc: 49; dbt: 0.039s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.2mb
Jinx
non-member comment
I am soooooooo jealous!
Well I was thoroughly entertained with your commentary and pics! And relieved that all is well, despite some minor hiccups (more like adventures). This is just the sort of trip I love - sponteneity, mayhem and a little luck.