True First Fight

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I had an extremely strange day yesterday. It went really well for the majority of the day. Camillo and I decided to go shopping together and we really had a great time. He's actually got a sense of fashion that I've never had so getting him together with me really makes it work well for the shopping. I enjoy giving him fashion tips too as to what looks good on him or fits but I'm not quite as good as he is (although he still enjoys it). Around 3:30pm we got a phone call from a friend of ours, Sky. Sky is a strange guy and he tends to rub people a bit funny. The other day Kelvin asked me if Sky was gay simply because of the way he acts towards him. Who knows what the answer to that question is. Anyways, lately I've been able to tolerate him less and less. When we first met he really seemed like a cool guy and I enjoyed hanging out with him, when the Salon boys were around (of course). When they weren't around I really didn't care to hang out with him but he didn't ask to so it wasn't a problem. But lately he's gotten on my nerves more and more and I've been giving him more and more of a cold shoulder. From the get-go he's constantly asked me if I'm okay and done other things repetitively that have driven me a bit crazy but I've never actually reacted to them. That is until yesterday. He had called because he wanted to give me a present that he told me he was going to give me a LONG time ago. Unfortunately I had decided to give Camillo the phone to answer as I really didn't feel like dealing with him at the moment. Sky convinced Camillo to take me on a 20 minute walk through a part of Dalian that I consider to be pretty hellish (Victory Square - an underground maze that no matter how many times you go through you still have no idea where you're going) with all our shopping bags just to get us to his uncle's shop and give me a pen. When we were there he prodded us on what we were doing and insisted on coming to meet us later. I was completely fed up. Not only had he insisted we come all that way but he was just going to come meet us in a little while anyways. Why in the world had he made us come all that far for nothing? Now we all had to go back. Camillo and I finished my part of the shopping and then met up with Sky and his friend. We then went to another shop. Earlier in the day Camillo and I had made a plan to go to Merry's house (my librarian) and have dinner with Kelvin, Cat, Milly (another colleague) and Bill (her boyfriend). But when we were walking to the other place and Sky was once again pressing me "Are you okay? You seem angry. Are you okay? I shouldn't have come." (on and on) Camillo told me that Sky wanted him to go over to Sky's place and fix his computer instead of going to Merry's. As if Camillo has any idea in the world how to fix a computer. That kind of made me fed up once again. Then we continued shopping and Camillo promptly started ignoring me completely. My sense of fashion no longer mattered one bit and with Sky's help Camillo started trying things on that he would never in his life try while the things he would love got pushed into a little corner of things he wouldn't buy. After a while of being ignored I told Camillo that I wanted to go home. He wouldn't let me and I was getting really fed up. I just wanted to leave. Sky called Cat and then handed the phone over to me and we chatted for a while about not being able to understand him at all. I was tired. In the end unfortunately Sky managed to push me too far. I couldn't handle him any more. I told him in a fairly calm way after trying to get myself to calm down "Sky, I don't think we can be friends. I'm sorry I've tried and I don't know what's wrong but I can't do this." He blew up and I left without another word.

I had a pretty good night hanging out with the gang. Camillo had decided to go home and do something for Hui instead of coming with either of us. Everyone made jiaod-zi at Merry's house and then we all sat around chatting for quite a while and eating watermelon. Afterwards I took a taxi over to Cam's but no one was there. I called them and Eason said he would come in a while. Then I called and talked with Kelvin for a while. Sky called me a couple of times and in the end I called Camillo to see what they were up to. He told me that they were at the beer festival and going to another bar and that he'd see me later. I was a bad person and needed to chill for a night. I have to admit it shocked me quite a bit that he called me a bad person. This morning I woke up and thought to myself "how dare he take someone's side who he barely knows at all. After all I've done for him how dare he not even ask me what my side of the story was and just call me a bad person. How dare he!?!"

Today I taught class from 10-12 and then did some lesson planning and had lunch. After lunch I had two more classes. My K4.5 class is really awesome. They love playing tease tag with me (where I try and catch them and tickle them) before and after class. But this time Helen stopped me because she had been told by our boss, Ernie, that we couldn't play around during the break. I don't like the way Ernie thinks sometimes. They're kids. They deserve a break. If he won't let them outside that's a bit too much right there but not letting them play around will cause them to be a bit more than crazy in class and also not get a true break, which they deserve, as I said. So I tried to play with them a bit calmer. Helen and Lucy did their job in writing on the board for me and I got the students to write when I could. Kelvin thinks my back muscles have been over used (hence the massive pain) so I'm going to try following his tactics for a little while here. So far it seems to be working pretty well. My back definitely hurts less tonight than last night.

After class Merry invited me over once again to her house. We both walked 20 minutes to her bus stop and then took it to her house. Then she left and I did Chinese for a while. I bought a really awesome book a couple weeks ago of 500 characters and I was working through it to do the characters that I knew. Tonight I finally made it all the way through the book. Of those particular 500 I can write 150 and recognize 250 but there are others that aren't in the book that I can read and write too. It's not too many as one needs 2000 to really read the newspaper but I'm working on it. I definitely can speak more than what I can write. I explained to Merry, Bill and Milly why I don't understand Cat and Kelvin studying Chinese sometimes. They are huang ren (Chinese born abroad) and it seems to me that fact in and of itself would press them to study more than I do. They told me Cat was a bit embarrassed to speak because she can't very well. Since they look like Chinese people they are kind of expected to speak Chinese, unlike myself who is not Chinese and therefore not expected to speak one single word of it. No matter how much I speak it amazes them. I lost count a long time ago of the number of people who tell me, even in one day's time, how great my Chinese is and can't believe I've only been studying for 11 months. But I also explained to them why it is so much easier for me to learn how to speak and listen than Kelvin and Cat. I caught the ear for learning when I was in Costa Rica and it hasn't gone away. I don't study how to speak and listen. I don't need to. All I need to do is be around people who speak it and I learn it automatically. No matter what language it is. As long as I have the basics down the rest comes easy, no problem, no lessons. But not with the reading and writing.

Anyways, after hanging out with the three of them for a long time I went over to Cam's house. He told me before going over there that he wants to cancel our trip to New York and get the money back. He doesn't want to try and go with me to the US this time. He just wants to try and go through Shanghai to the Las Vegas show and that's it. Next time he'll try and go with me. When I got over to Cam's house they were relaxing for a bit. We talked about Merry's and random things for a little bit. He kept texting someone every two minutes and it was probably just his brother or someone but he was making it seem like it was a girl (he likes to tease me). Leason got us some food and Camillo kept randomly texting every now and again. After a while I teasingly accused him it was Sky and he probably liked Sky. I've never seen the face that he put on then. That was the meanest look I've ever seen on him. He looked like he was going to hurt me. After a few seconds of that look he brushed it off as if it were nothing. We finished eating and Camillo told me. "I want to help you." Help me what? "Help you be popular." I don't need to be popular. "Remember at Christmas time you told us you wanted to be known." That was with you boys, not with Sky. I honestly couldn't give a shit if I were popular with him. He pushes me so much I don't even know what to do. "You know what I do when someone does that. I just smile wide and nod." I don't know how to do that sometimes. I'm not a smiler. You all know that. I don't smile very much with you guys but you know I'm not angry. "Sky's not us. He's different. You're not popular now and I want to help you." I wasn't understanding the word "popular" so I got upset that he was calling me some sort of bad person again. "Did I say you were a bad person? No." You did last night. He heaved a sigh "Darby. I don't know Sky at all. He's my face friend (the non-literal translation would be he only knows my face as a friendly one not my heart). You are my good friend. I know you from the front of your brain all the way out to the back of your brain. That's why I can call you bad. You can never say a face friend is bad. You don't know them that well. You have to treat them like a sandwich. The first piece of bread you tell them they are good. The piece of meat you tell them one thing they should change. The last piece of bread you convince them they are good again. Only a true friend can you speak heart to heart with, can you tell the facts straight up to. A face to face friend you treat in a roundabout way, not straight on." I don't know how to do that. This is not a road, it's life. Eason came in and sat down next to us and joined in the conversation. "Do you remember what I told you a while ago, that he wasn't really my friend? But I'm still nice to him. I still smile at him and wave and act friendly. That's what I do to everyone. If there is a room of two people that you absolutely despise and one that you really like you go up to all three people and treat them with equal kindness even though you can't stand the two of them." I can try and do that but I don't know how easy it is. I try to change. You all have seen me change but change doesn't come quickly. "Alright, fine, change slowly." We sat around and I worked with them on their English for a bit again. "What happens if I am acting nicely and he thinks I'm angry?" I asked. Eason laughed, Cam just looked at me. "I'm serious. I've done it before. What do I do?" Just keep smiling, Cam answered without saying it but simply doing it himself. Eason laughed again, showing his own response without saying it. They kept asking me and telling me things until I needed a break. I went to sit on Cam's window sill. He's got an absolutely awesome view now. His building is the furthest up a hill and it gives you a great big view of Xinghai and the sea. I like sitting up there. It's also a nice breezy place. It's dark there and you can actually hear the crickets. It's really peaceful. After a while Leason asked "Are you okay?" in English and I went back in to join them with their English work.

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