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Published: August 9th 2007
Leaving for Hong Kong so soon after my grandmother's passing was both a blessing and a curse. May 1st, International Labor Day, is a national holiday in China and so we were granted 3 days of official vacation by the government. I had been eagerly anticipating the trip since mid-March, but found myself feeling as though I was disrespectful by going on vacation so soon after we lost my grandma. I was still in a state of shock and denial when I boarded the flight to Hong Kong, but I hoped that the 5 days exploring the city would distract me.
We left on Tuesday, May 1st. After an hour-long delay at the airport, the plane lifted off into the sky and I began my traditional 90-second countdown. When I was young, flying excited me and I enjoyed going to the dentist; now, I find myself terrified of both. It was at the student travel office while I was booking my first flight to China in 2004 that I was informed of something by the travel agent that I have never forgotten: the majority of mechanical failures that occur during flights will happen within the first 90 seconds after takeoff.
Man on Plane
If you look carefully, you can see the string of drool stretching from his bottom lip to the middle of his shirt glistening in the light coming through the window. Thus, I am now doomed to count to 90 (complete with mississippis) after every initial ascent.
The flight was uneventful enough -- until dinner arrived. I was pleased to discover that China Southern Airlines offered vegetarian meals, even if a certain unsavvy passenger forgot to order one ahead of time. I'd just turned my attention to my roll (complete with real New Zealand butter) when a childish impulse overtook me and I wielded my plastic knife and the roll catapult-style and jokingly threatened my friends with imminent roll-pelting. They didn't take me seriously and called my bluff. I decided to prove them wrong by flinging the roll into the back of the seat directly in front of me-- that way no one would get hurt. Unluckily for me, physics was never my strong suit, and I pulled my plastic catapult back too far. The roll went sailing up, up, up into the air and flew over the heads of the passengers, eventually smacking an elderly gentleman on the head five rows ahead of us. We immediately ducked down in our seats like guilty schoolchildren, but could not conceal our giggles. For the 30 seconds it took for the roll
Through the plane window
This scene really moved me. I felt my grandmother's presence. drama to play out, I forgot that I'd just lost my grandmother and was able to genuinely laugh for the first time in days.
Gradually, it turned dark outside. As the sun was setting, the sky cleared and the clouds were visible below us. The rays of fading sunshine outlined the lines of the sky and seemed to point towards the heavens. The sky was a gorgeous wash of warm pinks, yellows and burnt oranges. It was in that instant, as I gazed out of the window in the plane, that I again felt the presence of my grandmother. I could picture her riding on the wing next to my window, her arms open wide as if to embrace the night sky and a huge smile on her face. Although the tears were silently slipping down my cheeks, I could feel peace in my heart. She was with me.
The next morning, we were up at the excruciatingly early time of 8 A.M. The hostel was in a convenient location, right next to a subway stop and the rooms were cozy. In Hong Kong, space is hard to find. It's not uncommon, as we discovered in the hostel
rooms, to shower over the toilet. By 9 A.M. we had found a little hole-in-the-wall to have a proper Cantonese breakfast, which I unhappily discovered was mostly meat. No matter; a white bread sandwich with slivers of tomato, cheese and dressing was made for me, complete with the crusts cut off. Hmmm.
We spent the day on Kowloon island. Kowloon is a mere HK $2 ferry ride from Hong Kong island, where we stayed. When we exchanged money, (1 HK dollar is approximately equal to 1 RMB) I noticed that the US dollar had further depreciated. When I first came to China in 2004, it was 1 US dollar equal to 8.6 RMB. Now it is 1 US dollar equal to 7.2 RMB. I wonder how much further it will fall in value. On Kowloon, we visited the Avenue of Stars (similar to the Hollywood Walk of Fame), had lunch at a fantastic Indian restaurant, and did a little poking around the shops. As dusk approached, we took the tram up to Victoria Peak to take in the city skyline from the highest point on the island. There were an abundance of tourists up there and as it was
still light outside, we elected to find a restaurant for dinner first. Of course, the prices for a meal at the peak were at a premium, so Burger King it was. Even at Burger King, the prices were high -- 50 HK dollars for a burger, fries and a drink! Amazingly, there was a veggie burger on the menu; not something I could ever find on the mainland. By the time we'd finished, it had grown dark outside, so we headed to the viewing station to take in the skyline at night. It's hard to describe a scene like that. There was an actual hush in the air as residents and tourists alike appreciated the beauty of the city at night. All I could think about was that I wished my grandma could have seen it. And I think she did.
Thursday was very relaxing. After our local breakfast, we boarded a bus bound for Recluse Bay, a highly recommended beach. Although it was overcast that day, we were determined to spend time at the beach, so spend time we did. Since the weather wasn't the best beach weather, it wasn't very crowded, a definite plus. It's hard to
find an uncrowded area both on Hong Kong and the mainland. However, there were lots of rules posted at the entrance to this beach. Among them: no spitting, no smoking, no surfing, no dogs, no footballs, no skateboarding, no rollerblading, no making loud noises, and no playing of sports. The guys were disappointed as they'd planned to toss a frisbee around. However, we are a creative bunch and soon enough the guys were engaged in a mock game of baseball. It was the top of the 9th, the bases were loaded and the tension was palpable. The pitcher wound up his pretend pitch and threw the pretend baseball as hard as he could. The batter hit the pretend baseball perfectly with his pretend bat. It was out of the park and a guaranteed pretend home run!! Just when it couldn't get any more exciting, a random guy way down the beach pretended to catch the out-of-the-park hit. Game over!
After the excitement of the morning, we took a taxi to Stanley, a shopping and eating mecca. It was during lunch at an English pub that we realized just how sunburned we had become, despite the clouds. The waitress did
her best not to laugh at us, but I didn't blame her. I blame my Irish and Norwegian roots! After lunch, we gingerly walked around the area, trying not to touch anything lest the clothes we were wearing scratch our tender skin. As we boarded the double-decker bus back to town, the icy air-conditioning that had been so frigid that morning felt wonderful on our crispy skin.
That evening, we met a former teacher from our school who had gotten a new job teaching English in Hong Kong. He took us out to a Cantonese place in the Soho area. Soho was an eclectic mix of restaurants from around the world, clothing boutiques, massage parlors, and apartments. The streets were steep and hilly, reminding me of San Francisco. All the restaurants had open-air dining rooms, a great idea since the climate is so humid down in Hong Kong and air conditioning so expensive. There were also moving walkways going up the hills, so one could stand in place and be moved past the plentiful dining options, jumping off when something looked appealing. It was nice to walk around a Hong Kong neighborhood, checking out the unique experiences the city
had to offer. Then we found ourselves standing in front of a Krispy Kreme. No matter where we go, it's hard to escape that American influence! However, one of the friends who came to Hong Kong was a Chinese national and she'd never had a Krispy Kreme doughnut before. New occurences are only a matter of perspective.
After we returned to the hostel, I found myself unable to sleep. I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours, but my mind wouldn't stop racing. I kept waiting for sleep, but it never came. I felt as though I was somewhere in between what was real and what was just a dream. The reality of my grandmother's death was beginning to sink in. How could that have happened? How could it be real? I couldn't, and still can't, comprehend the fact that when I go home, she will not be there. That I will never see her again. All I can hope for now is that each day will get easier. That we will begin to heal. And that we will carry her infinite wisdom, kindness and positivity wherever life takes us.
When I awoke the next morning, the
sky was dark and it was raining outside. It felt like my grief was being mirrored in the weather. It was such a stark contrast to the day I found out my grandma had passed away, when it was sunny and clear and I was standing in the middle of a beautiful garden. It took all my energy to force myself to get up that day. The plan was to go to an amusement park called Ocean Park, which housed a shark aquarium, multiple roller coasters and other rides, restaurants and other attractions. Once we arrived, we elected to go on the roller coasters first and were directed to wait in a cable car line. The park was divided into two parts, each on one end of the island, and so the 1.4 kilometer long cable car ride was necessary to access the fun rides.
As anyone who knows me well could guess, I was not pleased to be spending my last day in Hong Kong standing in lines for mediocre rides in the pouring rain. By lunchtime, I had had enough. After a brief discussion standing in the middle of a tiny covered shelter, crowded next to other
Avenue of Stars
Hey! That's my head! dripping wet, smelly people, half of us decided to make a break for dry land while the other half elected to continue singing in the rain. After a rejuvenating lunch of cream of mushroom soup, a mixed herb roll and a fruit smoothie, I felt better. I hadn't tasted those things since before I moved to China in mid-October, so you may be able to imagine just how good they tasted to me. It's amazing the things we take for granted, like a US $1 can of condensed soup. The differences between Hong Kong and the mainland are pretty incredible as well. Although Hong Kong was relinquished from British rule and given back to China in 1997, the island remains a completely different universe from the mainland. In fact, my plane ticket from Beijing to Hong Kong was considered an international flight, so I had to go through customs when I arrived and the trip used up the one entry I had on my visa.
The first thing I noticed, upon arriving in Hong Kong, was that no one stared at me. Although there are a number of foreigners in Beijing, we are still considered somewhat of an anomaly,
even within the central business district where most foreigners live. In Hong Kong, I wasn't given a second glance and it was wonderfully freeing. The vast majority of people living in Hong Kong are of Chinese descent, so the fact that I am Caucasian still made me stick out, but it wasn't cause for a double take like it is here. Instead, I was the one doing a double take. On the mainland, I can almost always speak in English, even about someone standing directly in front of me, and be assured that they will not understand me. This was not the case in Hong Kong. I found myself having to watch what I said, as most city residents are fluent in English, Mandarin and Cantonese.
Another thing I took note of was the enormous amount of rules that exist within Hong Kong. As I'd detailed in describing the beach we went to, great pains are taken in order to ensure that the city is as clean, peaceful and organized as possible. Everywhere we went, signs were posted stating some type of ordinance, whether it be no smoking, no public urination or no splashing of water. As a result,
it was rare to breathe in the awful stench of cigarette smoke while in an elevator or witness a child peeing freely into the street gutter while the parents observed. I have yet to figure out whether the citizens of China believe this type of behavior to be crass, yet it is widely accepted, or if there truly is a cultural gap and this behavior is the norm. The students at the school where I teach are horrified when they hear of the types of things the other teachers and I have witnessed; my guess is that the widely acknowledged great divide between city and countryside, educated and non-educated is to blame.
The question of control of Hong Kong is a touchy issue, similiar to that of Taiwan. Most Chinese will firmly state that Taiwan is a part of China, albeit a disobedient and rebellious one, while the Taiwanese maintain their independent state. Although Hong Kong was formally returned to Chinese rule in 1997, the island and the mainland have been peacefully coexisting under the "One government, two policies" curtain. I was amazed to discover that Hong Kong has its own currency, its own set of rules and regulations,
and is governed by a Hong Kong body, even though it is technically a part of China. This technicality is made all the more confusing by its status as an international flight in airports. Whatever the ambiguity, the city is vibrant, successful, and teeming with life.
I was fascinated by how different Hong Kong was from the mainland and I'd love to go back again to explore more of the dynamic city. However, while I was there this past week, my grandmother was never far from my thoughts and I'd like to end this entry with an open letter to her.
Dear Grandma,
I am unable to fathom the reality that I will never see you again. Since I was born, you have been a major part of my life. You didn't miss a single play performance, piano recital, choir concert, birthday party, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas celebration or graduation. I remember staying the night at your house, when you let me pick the movie to rent, and I'd wake up in the morning to find you doing the crossword puzzle and drinking coffee at the kitchen table. Reidy and I sometimes both stayed the night, and rather
than make us share a bed, you slept on the sofa. That's just the kind of grandma you are. When you got a new refrigerator, you saved the box so Reidy and I could build a fort in your basement. You always kept your pantry stocked with macaroni and cheese, applesauce and cookies, just in case we stopped by. You let me play dress-up with your jewelry and great grandma's old dresses, even when I was little and not very careful. I clomped around your kitchen in your high heels, leaving black scuff marks on the tiles, and you just smiled and cleaned the floor when I went home. That's just the kind of grandma you are. You never raised your voice at any of us grandkids, even though we must have done some naughty things. As I got older and saw you less, you treasured the time we spent together, even if I was too preoccupied with my petty teenage dramas to realize how lucky I was to have you in my life. After I started college, it suddenly became very apparent that while I had been growing up, you had been aging too. As a child, you never
think that the people in your life you count on the most will one day not be there anymore. Between graduation last May and my job here in October, Thursdays became our special Grandma-Merritt lunch days. I am so grateful to have had that time with you. We talked about the past, family history, and the future, my upcoming job in China. You always made it very clear to me how proud of me you were. But Grandma, there is something I never said to you, and I need to say it now. I am so very proud to be your granddaughter. You embodied grace, kindness, love, modesty, humor and positivity. I would be lucky to turn out like you.
I love you, Grandma. And I miss you so very much.
Love now and forever,
Merritt
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Thai
non-member comment
Firstly, I would like to say I didn't really think you were going to fling that piece of bread but you never cease to amaze me and you actually did!! Good on you :). Next time i w Second, I was robbed of my home run!!! Where the heck did he come from?! Not cool! Lastly, your letter was beautifully written and very moving. It brought tears to my eyes and without a doubt your Grandma is smiling down on you and couldn't be more proud how great of a granddaughter you are.