Blessings

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The day I left for China, October 21, was my grandma Ruth's birthday. When I told her that my flight to China for my new job was on her special day, her response was her classic catchphrase-- "Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do!".

Yesterday, I had traveled about an hour outside of Beijing to see the famous botanical garden filled with beautiful flowers and flowing streams when my dad told me the news. I feel fortunate to have been outside of the city in a beautiful garden when I found out that my grandma had died. She loved nature and flowers. She went for many wonderful car rides with my aunt and uncle to look at the leaves on the trees as they turned from the summer green to the vibrant red, yellow and orange of fall. She had many beautiful hanging flowers and plants on her front porch, so she could see them from her favorite chair in the living room. As I walked around that beautiful, serene place yesterday, I knew how much she would have loved to have been there with me, looking at the miles of tulips and groves of peach blossom trees.

Her death still isn't real to me. I've heard all the details about the funeral and the visitation, but being in China makes it all the more surreal. My mom pointed out that my last memories of my grandma will be of the laugh that consumed her entire body, of her never-ending patience and kindness, of her positive outlook on life and the sense of humor she retained until the very end. I've written before about some of the hardships I've faced in China, whether it's being stared at on the streets, missing family at home or the pollution in the air. Now I'm able to realize that so many of these things are small, insignificant. I want to model my own experiences and live my life the way my grandma did, with grace and humor. She was so proud of me for moving so far away and having the guts to work in a foreign country; I want to continue to make her proud by being as positive as she was about everything in her life. I want to react to the small disturbances I go through as she would have, with humor and good-natured ribbing.

At first I felt so alone, grieving for my grandmother 7,000 miles away from home and family. Then I took a walk today and for the first time, really looked at people. I saw the vendors greeting me as I passed them on the street. I saw the old Chinese grandmothers smiling tenderly at me, as if they knew what I'm going through. And I saw my grandma in every kind word that someone directed at me, at every gentle smile I received and in every act of good humor I witnessed as I walked around Beijing today. I don't know what happens after death, but today I felt my grandmother at my side, taking care of me as she did my entire life. For that, and every blessing in my life, I am grateful.

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Photos

Greenhouse with exotic flowers
Too expensive for us poor teachers to get in

More students
This is the time of "chun you" or spring holiday. There is a government-sanctioned week long holiday the first week of May, and all the students go on special trips during this period.

Path lined with flowers
Notice the mountains in the background

Olympic Stadium
We passed the nearly completed 2008 Olympic Stadium on the way to the Fragrant Hills. I can only imagine what it must look like up close.

Comments

[Thai]

My deepest condolences to you and your family. Your grandmother is and will always be proud of you. Know that she'll always be watching you with a smile on her face. Stay strong...and most importantly smile :-)