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Published: March 11th 2009
(Travelblog doesn't allow me to place photos exactly as I want, so please forgive the lack of synchrony) How to deliver eggs in the rain in Cambodia:
1. Put on a plastic rain poncho. (Pink is a good color.)
2. Gather up a few layers of eggs in open flats of 2-3 dozen eggs each
3. Get on your moto, balancing the eggs in one hand (Prior training as a waiter may be helpful.)
4. Off you go!
Personally, I think that when
The Amazing Race filmed an episode in Cambodia, this would have been a great task for contestants.
How to make friends with tourists if you’re a Cambodian:
1. Notice when you see the same white people riding by on their bikes or buying fruit at your stall.
2. Ask them if they live here now.
3. When you say goodbye to them, add, “See you tomorrow!”
How to deliver a live pig to market in Cambodia:
1. Get a large, live pig.
2. Have several friends help you hoist it onto your moto, belly-up.
3. Tie it on.
4. Off you go!
Maybe this would have
been an even better task for those
Amazing Race contestants. They could have chosen between “Don’t scramble the eggs” and “Don’t drop the bacon”!
How to be a good teacher in Cambodia:
1. Study hard, finish high school and teacher training, and learn some English.
2. Save your money and buy a moto so you can get to the school to work.
3. When your younger sister needs school fees to finish high school, sell your moto to pay her fees, and walk the seven kilometers to school every day.
4. When solar equipment is delivered to the school, sleep on the floor at the school every night to protect it until it all gets installed.
(A teacher at Tchey school named Rithy has done all of the above.)
How to paint a school in Cambodia:
1. Buy a five-gallon bucket of paint and some rollers.
2. Go to the forest and get some sticks to tie on the roller handles.
3. Study Jackson Pollock.
4. Dip your roller in the bucket of paint and attempt to get some paint on the walls.
How to be a
really cute kid in Cambodia:
1. Be born in Cambodia.
2. Hope that Angelina Jolie doesn’t come adopt you and take you away to be cute somewhere else.
How to get home from school if your bike breaks:
1. Look sad and stare at your bike until the principal notices that you’re the last kid in the schoolyard.
2. Watch the principal and a teacher try to fix your bike with a hatchet and a big honkin’ screwdriver.
3. Look sad and worried some more.
4. Get on the principal’s moto with the principal, the teacher and your broken bike.
5. Smile all the way home on the moto.
(See photos below.)
How to wash a chicken:
1. Assemble a rooster and two plastic bowls of water.
2. Lovingly lather your rooster.
(See photo below) (I don’t know
why you need to wash roosters, but there must be a good reason that just isn’t obvious to me…)
How to use a toilet correctly:
1. See photo below: it’s self-explanatory. Though I bet you didn't think you needed instructions at all, did you?
How to blog about a trip:
1. Write obsessively about every little thing that happens for the first two weeks of your travels.
2. Take endless photos of cute kids, monks, pigs on bikes, and strange foods in the market
3. Post blog entries and check every day to see if anyone has left any comments.
4. Drink a lot of beer and start forgetting to take your camera everywhere.
5. Settle in enough that every day is NOT a totally novel experience and decide to stop writing and boring your friends and family.
6. Drink some more beer and just enjoy the moments as they come.
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Steph and Alexis
6 months - 4 continents - 18 countries
Bahaha
Jess! I know you will check shortly to see if anyone has left a comment, so I thought I would leave one for you. This entry was so funny, Steph and I were laughing out loud in the internet cafe down the street. Really good stuff (might have to put the link up in our blog). Keep'em coming and thanks again for the beer last night.