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Published: December 7th 2006
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Spider Eating!
I don't know if you can really see it, but trust me. The spider is huge. Today I cried for this country and it's hellish past full of war and famine, and it's future full of corruption and despair. I cried for the people of the country, doing everything they can to stay afloat. I cried for the little boy who was chased away from a food stall with a whip. He didn't cry or yell, just looked with old eyes upon us tourists, pleading silently for something to eat while purple welts formed on his arms and legs. I cried for the dog limping on three legs who was chased away as well, but even more violently. Not once did he bare his teeth or snarl, too tired and hungry to fight back. I cried for the amputees, innocent vicitms of landmines who are relegated to begging for a morsal at the bus stop. I started crying, and couldn't stop. It is too sad here, too horrible. Not knowing how much more I can take, I talk to more locals who tell me more horror stories of their struggles for survival, how their lives were affected in some way by the wars, how their families are hungry and there's just no work and no money. I
Spider Eating
And not very tasty. cried for them all.
I try to shut them out, the faces and the voices. But it doesn't work because then I feel cold hearted. I can't not think about it. So I buy them food. 8 buns/buscuit things that cost me a mere $2 and brought them a meal for the day. It wasn't enough though. I don't think there will ever be enough.
Last night Wen took me to a hotel restaraunt where there was an outrageously expensive buffet and a mildly authentic song and dance show. I had invited Wen to join me for the buffet, but in the land of 5 star hotels Cambodians are a 2nd class citizen in their own country. He was not allowed to join me in the dining room area. He would be provided a free meal in the 'waiting area' especially made for the drivers. Wen was just happy he would get a free dinner.
An uneventful bus ride to Phnom Penh this morning, save for the bus stop horrors described above. At the second bus stop there were huge tarantula like spiders all fried up and ready to be eaten. Without even having had a drink
Beauties and the beast....
Me looking like a big frump with the beautiful Cambodian women... first for some dutch courage I bought one and shared it with another french passanger. Apparently the key to spider eating is you don't eat the legs, just the fat juicy head and torso. You snap them off and pop them in. Just like that! HA. Just like that says I. I made the mistake of biting the torso bit in half, because I couldn't bring myself to eat the whole thing. Man, it was some disgusting in there! At first it had the consistency and taste of cardboard. The consistency stayed the same, but the taste sure didn't. It was like chewing bitter, acrid cardboard. I refused to spit it out, and somehow managed to swallow it, drinking a half litre of water right after. This turned out to be a mistake however, as there was no toilet on the bus. I was doing a pee dance by the time I got to my guesthouse, and the tuk tuk driver wouldn't leave me alone as he really wanted me to hire him for tomorrow. Finally I just went to the bathroom in my room while he layed on my bed.
My room is especially plain and simple, but
Pagoda
At the royal residence I've got my own private bathroom and shower and it's only costing me $3 a night. The restaraunt and patio overlooks Lake Tonly Sap and so the sunsets are supposed to be amazing. This afternoon I went to the Royal Palace and the Silver Pagoda, full of grossly obsene gold leaf and diamonds weighing 15 carats and head dresses made out of pure gold and Italian marble and so much wealth my head was spinning after what I have seen and heard the last three days. Afterwards I was looking it all up in my Lonely Planet and it turns out I only noticed a quarter of everything that was on display. My head was literally spinning (maybe it was partly the heat) and I was disgusted. I was disgusted at the display of wealth, but also at myself because I couldn't help but be impressed by it all.
I miss my dog and my home and my family today. Just a week more before I can go home. And at the same time I know when I get home I will miss this world, this life. Everything is so real here. I think of home now and it
Royal Palaca
The throne room seems sterile to me. Boy, I'm a mess today, aren't I? I think I might phone my mom, even though it's an ungodly hour there right now.
Hugs and kisses,
Cathy
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BIG HUGS!!!
And phone me you did! At 5:50 a.m. yet!!! But the one lucky part of that is I am working day shift and my alarm had just rang 2 minutes before, so you aren't in trouble you lucky thing!!! Remember dear that we all love you very much. Rmember that you are a visitor in a country of horror and sadness and you do not live there. Remeber that even though you bought a days meal for a few, you cannot, singlehandedly fix everything over there. Just try to remember the beauty and the good things you have witnessed - the man who gives a safe place to all the young amputees (land mine victims), Wen and Wen's mother and her big hugs (She probably thought he was bringing you home to introduce you to his new wife haha), the beauty of the ancient temples, and whatever else you have experienced. This one leg of your trip alone, I think, will be life changing for you. Remember all at home who love you and remember that Ty is missing you very much, although he sure has settled in well here. We all miss you and can't wait for you to come home. Oh ya, remember one more thing! The silk factory - that is what I was talking about, that is what I wanted you to see. Oh boy oh boy I wonder if I will be a recipient of a gift from the gift shop!! Oh goody goody gumdrops! I think I just might be. I am so excited. I love you, big hugs!!! XOXOXO MOM