No One to Impress

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My stomach was in a weakened state this morning. So a simple breakfast it was: honey/lime crepes and dried bacon. Afterwards I said goodbye to Stacey, whose holiday was coming to an end. When Stacey’s car had pulled away, the cute Cambodian staff girl said it was no fair that Stacey had to leave and I got to stay. I puttered around Kampot for a couple hours and then it was time for me to depart as well. Before I left, I ordered one more luxuriant watermelon juice on the Rikitikitavi terrace. I gazed out over the sun dappled river and smiled. But as I did, I got the sense that this place was Stacey and I’s place. It was not for me alone. I got up and said my goodbyes to the awesome staff and left for Kep.

The hotel room that I managed to book last night was the last room under $200 left in all of Kep. It is at the Villa Kep Resort, which it turns out is in a quiet corner of Kep National Park. I am there now. It is far away from the beach, down a dusty road, and opens out on to a space of tranquility. The guests here are mostly middle-age Europeans, but for me today it is perfect. I wanted a couple days to detox, recenter, and just be peaceful before entering the hurly burly of Phnom Penh.

As I was reclining on a poolside deckchair under a grass thatched umbrella, I let my breathing still. I listened to music and tried to clear my head of all thought. I did as well as anyone could. This place seems to exist outside the world. A secret corner of the world that does not really belong to anywhere. It is a pause. It is a moment where your heart can slow. Your skin can warm. It is a day that cannot be found on any calendar. There is nothing I must do. Nothing I have to try. Up here in the hills above Kep I don’t even have to be me. I just have to be. I have no self up here. No one to impress. Just do what I want, not even have to do the Cambodian thing. This is the first place in Cambodia where there is no noise. I feel less stirred up and can finally be still. Tomorrow I will jet off to Koh Tonsay and a different kind of tranquility. More of a rustic, Robinson Crusoe, living like the Cambodian villagers thing.

This space is exactly what I need to segue back from traveling with a friend into the adventurous solo traveler I aim to be. Being with a friend is great. It is far easier than traveling solo. I felt very comfortable and safe at all times. Every moment was filled with conversation and laughter. However, when you are with a friend you do not feel the country as much as when you’re on your own. Even in the back of the tuk tuk ride from Kampot to Kep I began to clearly see and observe true Cambodia again.



This short entry comes directly in full out of the paper journal I kept with me on my trip through Cambodia.

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Photos

My View During DInner
This hill became richer and richer with color as the day came to a close.

Place of Inspiration
My bungalow where I sat and wrote this journal entry.