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Published: July 13th 2010
So now that all the serious stuff has been blogged about, its time to get back to Reety's adventures! The mayhem that is me! For all those that like to read these on the companies time, be assured there will be no tears (unless of laughter), I wont mention any names Lynn...
This blog skips back a little to leaving Battambang on the bus... we were originally going to book a private taxi through the hotel but we were quoted $45USD so decided the local $4.25USD bus was a better option! We jumped on and got the back seat. Ah bliss.... 5 seats between the 3 of us... until some random dude just came up, stared at me sitting near the window.. I got the hint he wanted that seat.. so grumpily I moved over and ended up in the sucky middle seat. Right before the bus left we noticed the bus driver coming up the aisle giving out plastic bags to everyone... Now I have seen this happen on the Island Ferries but was a little confused in such a flat country knowing that the road was pretty straight, as to why everyone needed plastic bags... We guessed it
was for people that got motion sickness but thought it was weird that a big deal was made out of it.. especially when the bus driver didnt give us any! The journey started and we settled in. As we went along the bus started to get a little fuller until suddenly we were all packed like sardines... There were people sitting in the aisles and the bus was playing really bad Cambodian comedy on a tv screen, which was clearly funny if you knew how to interpret the Khmer language! The bus was filled with loud laughter the WHOLE way!
You dont make friends with Vegetarians.... Or Cambodian Military
We stopped about halfway for a toilet stop... and just before we left an old guy jumped on and came sat between my feet on the step to the back seat... like I wasnt squashed enough. I noticed he was holding a little bag of chicken and rice and then he decided to start speaking to us... Picture this.... Jakki at the window.. Narelle next to her... Me in the middle with this old Cambodian soldier (or crazy man.. we are still not sure) between my legs...
We had all our bags squashed around us.. Anyway the crazy man as we shall now call him starts eating his chicken and rice with his fingers before sticking his hand out at Narelle to shake her hand... He then does the same to me... GROSS... at this point, Jakki is trying to tune out by listening to her ipod and pretend she is asleep....
I then grabbed my bag and put on my lap so that I couldnt engage in any further conversation with him. The crazy man then gets out something from his wallet and hands to Narelle (we think it was a business card of some type) before she decides this is a cool thing to do and hands him her business card... He then decides he wants to meet Jakki, so Narelle shakes her and tells her to meet crazy man... Crazy man then proceeds to shake Jakki's hand. After he finishes, I see the funniest look of horror on Jakki's face and she says to me in a really distressed voice... "Get this f*cking chicken off me NOW" ... yep thats right... our resident vegetarian is sitting there with chicken chunks and grease all
over her hand... She was almost starting to freak out as I absolutely nearly wet myself laughing, while at the same time trying to find her baby wipes and Advil...
A few minutes later, he shakes Narelle's hand again... only for her to turn to me freaking out going 'get it off me get it off me'... I look over and there is this chunk of chicken on her arm... OMG I was laughing so hard that I almost wet myself again.. it was the funniest thing.... Narelle then turns to me again and with a look of horror tells me he is wiping his hands on her bag.... SOOOOO FUNNY!
Narelle proceeds to hand him a baby wipe and tried to show him how to clean his hands... What followed was him completely fascinated by this 'wet cloth' and he spent the next half hour cleaning his hands... the cloth was BLACK when he finished... Narelle did the charitable thing and gave him the rest of her packet to keep! Soooo funny.
The bus finally arrived in Siem Reap and as we stood up to get off the bus the crazy man decided he should carry
our bags for us... bear in mind these are our bags with all our valuables so we are completely freaking out.. he grabbed Narelles and he was off down the aisle... there was never any ill intention we dont think.. he was just crazy! As we made our way down the aisle we worked out why those damn plastic bags were given out at the start... there was vomit EVERYWHERE in the aisle... man those Cambodians eat ALOT of corn! One looked like it was pure creamed corn! Bahahhahaha!
Viva!!!
We made our way to the Seven Candles Guesthouse which is run by Ponheary and Lori... settled in, had a quick shower and decided we needed food. We headed into pub street and when we got there a big bright orange place on a corner caught our eye... Viva Mexican Restaurant with a huge sign advertising
"Happy Hour 10am - 8pm everyday! $1 Margaritas, $1 Tacos, 50c draught beer" ... well you know what happened next dont you.... 2pm we are settled in at Viva's eventually leaving about 8pm that night.... The place was fantastic, free wifi, great staff, amazing food and Margaritas to die for...
While sitting there we were constantly having kids approach us trying to sell us everything from postcards to books... we bought the usual postcards and books... got to meet a lovely disabled man who had lost his arm in a land mine accident (we got books off him). We had a couple of boys keep coming back to sell us stuff so in the end I said to them in my sternest 'work voice'.. "Look if I buy you something to eat will you LEAVE US ALONE?!?!" ... "Yes" they said with big grins... So we sat them down at our table, gave them a menu and let them order something to eat.. It was great and I felt much better at feeding them then anything else.. they were very polite and even offered us some of the food when it arrived.... While they were eating a few more kids came over wanting food and we told them that we couldnt feed everyone so if they wanted food to try again another day!
One little girl came over and kept asking Jakki to buy her some 'sports shoes' .. she said they were $6USD. Jakki kept looking at me
with the helpless 'should I, shouldnt I' look.... I told her that if she felt that she wanted to, to do it, but to go to the market with the little girl and buy them for her... When she got back she was laughing as the 'sports shoes' had turned out to be Hot Pink Patent Leather shoes! Haha we then laughed saying she probably took them back for a refund as a scam to get the money after Jakki left... We called it an early one as we had the temple tour with the kiddies the next day...
Margarita Tally: 21
Day 2 dawned and as you know we headed off on the school excursion which I blogged about last time... after finishing, Jakki and I both decided we had a 'Viva' craving so off we went.. back to Viva... this time we were joined by Randi and Veris from Singapore, Narelle turned up at some point after some shopping and Lori showed up for a drink... While having dinner, the little girl from the night before that Jakki had bought the shoes from turned up.... proudly wearing her new hot pink patent leather 'sports shoes' ...
at least we knew that she was genuine, and Lori assured us that in Cambodia they ARE sports shoes (along with any other type of shoe!!!). After we finished at Viva we headed off for a wander down pub street... too tired to think we decided it was time to call it a night.
Margarita Tally: 14
Swimming Pools, Bikes And Drunk Tuk Tuk Drivers!
Day 3 came way too quickly and we all had a sleep in... the girls decided not to do any more temples after an epic day the day previous... we decided to relax by a pool for the day so after some breakfast we headed to a hotel close by for a day of relaxing by the pool.... once we finished Jakki and I headed off with Lori and Ponheary to the bike shop to see the bikes our charity money had raised! After being shown the bikes and meeting the bike shop owner, we set off again to you guessed it, Vivas for Margaritas & Fajitas! Seriously we had such an addiction and didnt care about all the other places that we might be missing out on!
Jakki
and I headed to Viva while Narelle went and did her own foodie thing! She met up with us for a drink before deciding she needed a massage and some shopping time... Jakki and I then decided (regrettably) to hit Pub Street and ended up at a little club called Temple Bar where we proceeded to get smashed on $6 JUGS of Redbull/Vodka... you got a free (tacky) tshirt with every jug so after the 2nd we made a bad decision that Narelle needed a tshirt too and got a 3rd! The 4th jug was pretty hazy but by this stage we had two of the local tuktuk drivers at our table drinking with us and we are pretty sure that the majority of the 4th jug was theirs (along with the free tshirt!).
Margarita Tally: 9
Vodka/Redbull Jug Tally: 4
The next thing I remember is leaving the pub and seeing one of the drunk tuktuk drivers SMASHED and stumbling towards us mumbling something about driving us home... It was like a bad scene from the latest zombie movie and I, through clouded (or drunk) eyes decided it was a great idea (WTF)... Jakki however had enough
wits about her to grab the closest sober tuktuk driver and away we went! LOL...
Bum Blasters & Hangover Hell
The next day we awoke with hangovers from hell! Not such a great idea! Narelle was up bright and early and went on a mission to eat as much as she possibly could visiting all the recommended restaurants one after another.. seriously we cant understand where the food goes and how she is so skinny! She also went out on a aeroflight... on some weird contraption.. kind of like a bicycle with wings! She did an hour flight and it took her all over above the temples and lake area.. she said is was amazing... it was originally something Jakki and I had contemplated doing (even though I would have had to take ALOT of valium) but thankfully my hangover prevented me doing it - hehe!
It was also the day that my 'Asia Belly' decided it was going to get worse (even though it had been lingering around almost for a week).... At this point, with limited toilet paper I decided it was time I did the Asian way and learn to use the
bum blaster... Now let me tell you... the thought of squirting cold water at my nether regions does not exactly inspire me... and when I am hungover and with 'runs' its even worse, but at that point I just couldnt care...
I am now proud to announce I have mastered it... actually its pretty good... well it was on the day anyway! Haha! All you do is blast 'there' and 'there' and then pat dry with toilet paper! No mess! It actually works and I can see the concept! Am I going to install one in my bathroom when I get home?! Well no... but when you are visiting the toilet with 'Asia Belly' 10 times a day it sure saves a sore butt! Haha! Moving along....
Jak and I stayed in bed the WHOLE day with Narelle popping in every now and then bringing us any cure she could think of! LOL.... Finally we stumbled out of bed late afternoon and headed straight for Viva! We were so dodgy and tried one Margarita but it just wasnt going to happen... alcohol was NOT on our agenda! By this stage though the staff were loving us and we
asked if we could buy a staff tshirt.... they wanted $5 but then we decided after the amount of Margaritas we had drunk we deserved free ones... so the manager came over, and with a bit of convincing that I would plug his restaurant on my website, free tshirts were ours!
Margarita Count: 1 (between us!)
Asta La VIVA baby
... Which leads me to say (and I say it with genuine sincerity!)... if you are going to be in Siem Reap.. get yourself to Viva's for the BEST Mexican I have ever eaten outside of Mexico (not that I have been to Mexico) but it sure beats anything I have ever eaten in Australia and the Margaritas... well the tally count says it all!!!! After sad goodbyes to the staff, we headed off to do some last minute shopping... and I have to say the night markets are fantastic.. got some really good tshirts and souviniers DIRT cheap... we also went a little silly on the oil paintings which were AMAZING... I ended up with the most amazing oil painting for my dining room which would be 150cm tall by about 3 meters wide..
if not more! It is going to look great! ..... the only pain in the ass thing... yep you guessed it.. travelling with it! But that is a whole other adventure!
Thanks for hanging in for an epic blog.. Phnom Penh was going to be on this blog but its just too long so I will sign off here and get you another soon! When I find the time!!!!!
Love to all
Reety xxx
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Gaz
non-member comment
Keep em coming!
Hey Reet, I love your blogs, entertaining, funny, cringeworthy and touching! Ive done thailand many times but not had the chance to visit Cambodia and your blog is inspiring me to make there sometime soon. Looking forward to your next installment. Gaz