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Published: March 18th 2010
Subtitled: The trip where everything went wrong.
Secretly subtitled: Don't anger large groups of traveling foreigners who speak the same language.
We were up at 5am and downstairs waiting for our pickup by 5:25. Our bus was scheduled to leave at 6am. We wanted the early bus because then we'd get to Bangkok mid-day, just in time for lunch. The drive was supposed to be faster, too. Seemed like a few extra dollars well spent.
*cue the ominous music*
After waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting... I was in panic mode and Julie was looking uncomfortable. I swear, she's unflappable. I was trying to get someone at our guest house to call the company or do anything, but they couldn't seem to understand why we were getting (or in my case, was) upset. We even handed them the phone number and told them specifically what to ask, but they just thumbed the card and stared at it. It was like talking to lettuce.
Our ride arrived at 6:10. By the time we picked everyone else up, we'd managed to figure out that there were too many people needing pick-ups and that half of us hadn't even been registered. Nice, eh? We made it to our bus and promptly left at 7:20am.
By now we were all crabby and one guy had taken it out on the driver of our pick-up who couldn't understand our anger. I realize that face saving is important, but what he didn't seem to realize was how close he was to losing his face, literally. The American was ranting and never did really calm down. I was angry, too, but realized that the men in our group were scarier, so I just sat, thinking it couldn't get any worse. We were on our way, right?
*cue the ominous music, again*
They finally came clean and risked losing face in the Asian sense by telling us the truth: whomever had sold us our tickets didn't have a bus. And half of us hadn't been accounted for, which explains the morning pick-up fiasco. So, being without a bus, the guy called his friend who runs a tour bus for Koreans. He neglected to mention that we needed to get to the border. The bus/tour owner found out after he'd chased us down on a motorbike with his wife and climbed on.
Oh, and incidentally, they weren't quite sure how we would get the rest of the way to Bangkok after we crossed the border.
Did I mention that we paid extra for this early bus?
So, there we were, bumping along, all half-asleep, getting closer and closer to the border. I had dozed off but woke up when I realized we were slowing down. With three kilometers to go. Yes, that's right, our bus overheated and we rolled it to a stop. After a very extended five minute wait we were off again, but not until after two guys had tried to make a break for it and hire motor bikes to the border. You know, to catch that second bus that we were scheduled to take to Bangkok... that probably left an hour ago if it even existed.
*cue the ominous music that was never cut*
We made it, crossed the border, and waited for our bus. They had managed to get us one, somehow. By the time most of us had amassed ourselves and were sitting on the sidewalk, they told us it would come at 1:30pm. But until then, for the next few hours, we could go swimming and eat lunch in the area by the bus company's station. Which was nowhere to be seen. And no, lunch wasn't free, we would have to pay for it.
This didn't go over very well. We'd all paid extra to arrive in Bangkok anywhere from noon to 1:30pm, depending on who you talked to. There was a lot of shouting at a guy who said he wasn't the manager but we could talk to his boss when we got to the station. I think we all thought he was the manager and was lying to us. Either way, now I am part of an angry mob. And I'm angry enough that I'm starting to chime in with the loud men. Even Julie was looking angry. One pick-up truck arrived and Julie and I jumped in, tossing our bags in the back with everyone else. Of course, we needed two trucks, but I wasn't waiting for the second one. I suspected that doing so would cause even more headaches than I cared to imagine.
*cue music from that one scene in that one movie--you know the one--where it all starts to come together
By now we were riled up and angry and plans were forming. We'd talk to the bus, get our money back, or at least part of it, we'd cause some hell if we had to. Everyone in our group had been traveling for a few weeks and we just weren't going to take this run-around. And if they tried anything...
As many of us predicted, the boss was not at the station--or the restaurant where we were dumped--but he was conveniently in Bangkok. That was the last straw. The men with the truck left to get the rest of our group, including the really angry guy from before and the two men who'd tried to make a break for it in Cambodia. We looked at each other and knew this was going to get even uglier.
*cue the theme from Rocky*
A British guy and an Aussie started asking for the tourism licence number. Thailand wants bad tour groups reported because tourism is such a heavy industry. The people looked at us cluelessly. Another lettuce moment. The rest of us were milling around, not sitting down, and not ordering food. Two Dutch women wandered across the street to the market because they were hungry, but they certainly weren't going to buy anything from this racket. I noticed the swimming pool that we were free to use charged a nice fee.
*cue the theme from Mission Impossible*
By now, the woman who ran the restaurant was sensing she had a huge problem on her hands. She transformed from lettuce to lettuce that knew she was in trouble and wanted us to go away. The British guy used the phone by the cash register to loudly call the boss. The boss must've been hard of hearing or hiding in a nearby closet under the linens because the British guy had to keep repeating everything loudly. When he got off the phone with the unhelpful boss (spinach?), he again started asking about the licence. Then he started digging around in the drawers by the cash register, determined to find it. Lettuce lady kept saying she didn't understand. We had surrounded her. We looked mad. We were loud. Except Julie. Julie had sat down to wait it out and ordered pad Thai from the ladyboy. With us keeping lettuce behind the counter--a panicked look upon her face--the ladyboy (who had the highest voice I have ever heard) had to wait on the entire restaurant. Which, thanks to us, wasn't very full.
*cue the angel choir*
Finally, a mini-bus, big enough for our half of the group appeared. It was suddenly available. I guess it no longer needed to sit behind the trees next to the restaurant. The Aussie ran to find the Dutch women while the rest of us loaded in our bags before something else happened. We pulled out just as the pick-up with the other group arrived. We had tried to secure a ride for them, too, but were told that it was either us or them and we wait a few more hours. We wisely chose the former.
*cue the theme from Smokey and the Bandit*
We drove off, still talking, still in awe. At one point we thought we'd lost our driver. He got out, we assumed to use the toilet, and one guy thought he saw him get into another car and speed off. It turns out he just stopped to get lunch. You know, like the rest of us hadn't. We drove through Thailand, the scenery blurring from green to grey as we encountered our only rain of the trip. The air conditioning didn't work well and I was crammed into the back corner. The two snootiest French people I've ever met had managed to keep up with us and turned down the fan without asking any of us if we minded. Between that and the snide remarks they'd been making all day, I think they should be glad that we didn't leave them at the swimming pool.
We arrived in Bangkok at 3:30pm, three and a half hours late. We'd been on the move for 10 hours. This trip was definitely worth the extra money.
*cue the relaxing music of your choice*
We checked in to our hotel and napped and showered. Ahhhh. We went in search of food. I opted for pad Thai again. With a pineapple shake again. Julie said she saw a guy from the second group stumble by our table around 7pm. He looked like he was looking for a place to stay.
Then I treated myself to a head, shoulder, neck, and hand massage for an hour. That was the best $6 I spend all day.
*cut the music*
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kiwisailor
Jill & Rod Martin
Leaving from Sihanoukville at 8 AM tomorrow - Oh the anticipation!!!!! what time will we arrive? will we arrive? If so, where? Will Bangkok still be there when we arrive? The joys of travelling in Asia Kiwisailor