Freaking hell its hot

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Sunee Seday shiny little followers of the light

So we've been in Cambodia for three days, and besides becoming attached to Angkor beer, available in large Quart sized bottles for stupidly low money, we've seen some crazy crazy stuff, and insulted all manner of locals, fellow tourist diplomats, and i think a monkey.

We landed in Phnom Penh, and for the first two nights in this crazy cool spot we decided to drink ourselves into a stupor and wrote down notes of what we saw. Actual extracts include;


Dear God its hot
Sweet merciful Allah its hot
Buddha already new its hot, its why he's taking a power nap half the time
Beer is awesome
Beerbitch used to be cool, that mans changed


So we go out with some tourist people, and decide to drink like mine workers at the Wooly Rhino bar. Its the two of us, and Chicksbru. Beerbitch, in all his gimpy suckness decided that instead of tightening with the ou's after 6 months, he's going back to his hotel room
to read. We agree with you, he's obviously lost all respect from man, woman and child. He's worse than nothing to us, he's a Manchester United fan. At half two in the morning we stumble back yo our beds, and on the way a tree goes "Ka kaar"at me. I've decided that i can fluently talk monkey/tree/bird/strange tree dweller, so start "ka kaaringïng" back. This goes on for two minutes, until i realise that i am completely hammered, standing in a road, and screaming at a tree.

The next day we took in the sights of Phnom Penh. I'm not going to describe any of that utterly crazy S.21 malakese. that shit was fucked up. Pure and simple, stuff was disturbing. If you want to know anything else, go read up on it. Fuck that for a ball of chips us telling you lazy assed folks. The museum and market where cool, so was the palace, which some dodgy tuk tuk driver told us was closed, so we'd go to the russian market instead.

Saw the killing fields too, nuff said.

Many many beers followed (as they do)

On the way back to our hotel room, we run into the same tree we saw before. its now stupid o clock, officially, and the tree remains strangely silent, as both Danish and I "Ka-kaar" to no avail. Stupid monkey, cant handle a proper intellectual debate.

We get to the hotel, and the "night guard" is asleep on a sofa in the lobby, with our key on the desk, this is Fort Knox style security.

After getting back to our hotel at stupid o clock in the morning, Danish giving himself third degree burns from a kettle (dont ask me what the hell he was up to, personally, i think he's on crack) we get up and climb on a bus to take us to Battabang. It was awesome.

This belt drives through Cambodia hooting all the time. blaring out crazy assed Cambodian karaoke in the 35 degree heat, with all sorts of weird songs and stuff. Halfway through, everyone starts hallucinating, Danish was twitching like a dog, in the words of someone else on the bus. I have the sort of weird assed dreams not suited for a bus, nor really anyone but a 15 year old boy. Crazy assed shit

Gemma's present got fed to a goat at this point of the fight. Because i can.

I'm getting bored of typing. Enter photo time.

P.S. fanks to those people what subscribed, screw you to all those what didnt!
'
el bastardo

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Comments

[Workgirl]

Have a beer for me....
or though by the sound of it you already have.... had.... a.... lot..... on.... my... behalf and on the behalf of the entire population of London! You and Danish back in the country on the 31st March?

[Laut]

The exotic tongues of Beer
From what i have heard... those cambodian trees are very private, and the best hope one has of holding a decent conversation with one is shneakily sneaking up on it and tackling it!! Unfortunately, there are no known cases inwhich El tree hasn't come out tops!! Danish... what is it with you, burns and holidays?? Lay off the crack, Gorgeous!

[Tracy - the cuz]

Looks like you guys are having a great time. Look forward to seeing you back in rainy ol' England in a few weeks. Take care, T