Beautiful Burma

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Beautiful Burma April 2017



After living in Thailand for 6 years, I was finally heading to Burma, its largest neighbour and a previous British colony. Since the opening of its borders proper to the outside world, this secretive country had been bombarded with tourists eager to explore and companies vying for business. My goal was to get there before McDonalds, which you may think was a rather ludicrous notion, particularly as KFC had already beaten me to it. But it was so much more than just another fast food chain slowly but surely taking over the signage of the streets and the diets of the Burmese people. It was significant in what it represented - the beginning of the decay of the traditional Burmese way of life as it was locked in a secure downward slope towards Americanisation and materialism. Indeed, the very notion that tourists would continue to come in swarms and trample over decaying religious ruins, taking photos and leaving behind plastic rubbish as well as a huge carbon footprint, filled me with an urgency that had taken 6 long years to manifest.



To be fair though, I had planned to go 6 months earlier in September 2016 and had even bought my Bangkok Airways (the boutique airline don’t you know) plane ticket and accommodation (at the time of booking was called Rama Hotel, but later confusingly changed its name to Ostello Bello (OB)). However, three days prior to my departure, I had ventured out of the safety of my condo for a short attendance at a friend’s birthday; promptly got overly merry and had fallen over twisting my foot and cutting all up my left leg. Waking up in agony several hours later proved it necessary to visit the hospital to get a cast and crutches. That Burma trip was no more.



So April 2^nd 2017 was now the due date to finally leave on the 1.5 hours flight from Bangkok to Mandalay. I was looking forward to seeing Burma before it became spoiled and experience the untainted beauty of the land and the people, and that is what I did….well to a point. Despite having these grandiose ideas of being the sole genuine traveller who would truly appreciate the land that time forgot, I rather naively kept to the tourist trail of Mandalay – Bagan – Mandalay – Kalaw – Lake Inle – Yangon. Eugh boring! Well actually, as ever, I had a great time and had some amazing experiences. As more often than not I was travelling alone, and as much as I was often asked by people whether I was with anyone such as when I asked for a table for one, rather than just a flash of a pitying look, it was actually mixed with genuine admiration - at least I like to think that was the case anyway.



What to take



Diligently I began to get my essential travel kit together for my 3-4 week trip. This consisted of the following items:



My phone (with a waterproof case) and my waterproof Olympus TG4 camera

Wet wipes (antiseptic) and tissues; Head torch and spare batteries; Ear plugs and eye mask; Passport and visa (perhaps this should have been first on the list, but tbh, the online application for a tourist visa is now so fast and simple that it took only 2 hours to receive the confirmation and for $50); A credit card, ATM card (if different); brand spanking new and crisp $US; Thai baht; medical card / insurance; student card (no driving license as we are not allowed to drive there)

Hat and sunglasses; Mossie repellant (usually add here sunscreen, but I wanted to buy the locally made and used Thanaka when I was there); Tampons; Tea bags (I’m British OK?); Sewing kit; First aid kit of plasters, scissors, painkillers, propolis (for cuts, ulcers etc), tiger balm (for bites, congestion, preventing sniffing bad smells), nutmeg oil (for stomach problems), arnica (bruises), eye drops, Quadriderm (a cream for all types of skin problems), Canesten (girls you can never be too sure), antibiotics, berroca (a shot of high dosage vitamins and minerals cos you know you’ll need it at some point); Travel towel; Headphones and a small speaker; Toothbrush, toothpaste, small containers of shampoo and conditioner and a small bar of soap; Neck pillow; Book(s); Water bottle; Adaptor plug with USB and chargers; Copy passport and visa letter; Download Mapsme app.



Anything else I could either do without, or it would be excess baggage and I prefer to travel light. What I would say is this, except your passport, visa and money, never travel with anything that you can’t live without, or would be expensive or difficult to replace in the event of loss. So I never take a watch or other jewellery, clothes or other expensive items, it’s pointless. You are there to travel, explore and experience, not to swagger around like an entitled twat and the last thing you want to be doing is having to find a police station to report a loss, contact your insurance company (if you have one) and piss around wasting time and money. Lecture over.



Clothes-wise, people always take too many clothes and you end up lugging around a much heavier bag than is necessary. So I suggest taking enough for 1 week, as believe it or not, there are places to get your stuff laundered everywhere now and if not, hand wash! Consider where you are going and the weather. Is it hot, cold or wet? If it’s hot and you are going to be wearing flip flops 24/7, then don’t pack socks for example and water proofs are unlikely to be necessary. If it’s hot and wet, you will dry very quickly although waterproofs for your bags (and electronics) are an excellent idea. (Note my waterproof camera, phone and speaker).



My backpack weighed just over 12kg and my daypack around 3kg. I have a cover and lock for my backpack, as they are easy targets for thefts and also potentially for someone to place a suspicious package in. The cover also avoids tears and the straps from getting caught in anything. To avoid all this, use a rugged cover and lock it.



Money



Bangkok Airways leaves from Suvarnabhumi airport and this was relatively uneventful, except the fact that there is no Bangkok Bank ATM machine in departures – it is inexplicably on the 1^st floor, departures is on Level 4, so if you are with them, ensure you have got the cash beforehand. Speaking of cash and this is important, you hear about the Burmese wanting crisp new unmarked American dollar bills to exchange for dirty crumpled old tattered Kyat (pronounced chat), well IT’S ABSOLUTELY TRUE! Seriously! I thought I had fulfilled all this criteria, but at the money changer in Mandalay, called KYAT Currency Exchange on 78^th Street and 26/27^th Streets near to Ostello Bello Hostel, upon a fleeting inspection, they saw…….something that I couldn’t see, or feel and apologized that they could not exchange it. WTF? This unfortunately left me $50 dollars down, and they do not exchange for any other currency. You can, however, go to a bank, if there is one and it is open (they usually open from 10am until around 2pm Monday to Friday), so you really have to plan your cash and have it on you in advance. I was a bit unnerved about having to carry so much cash around with me, but to be honest, Burma is very safe, but just be sensible and don’t carry it all with you or leave it all in one place, but do keep it close to hand. Some banks also do not exchange Thai Baht. Best bet is to take high denomination brand new and crisp US$ and exchange as soon as you get there. If you download the XE Currency app, this gives you a good idea of exchange rate and this was often the same as or close to the rate I got. It is also a fallacy that you can use US$ bills as day-to-day currency – you cannot. It is kyat only and in cash and make sure you have low denominations.



Arriving in Mandalay Airport



I arrived at lunchtime from a quite enjoyable flight. Bangkok Airways serve a snack and drink which is welcomed. After grabbing my bag I walked up to the information counter and bought a bus ticket to the hostel. I paid with Thai baht (they exchanged at a fair rate) and gave me kyat in change. Ticket cost 4,000 kyat and was to the door of the hostel. Bus was a comfortable mini bus and outside the airport exit and we left immediately. Best and cheapest way to get to the town, which is some 45km away.



Arriving at Ostello Bello



One of the best hostels I have stayed in and I have stayed in many! Light, open, airy, friendly and clean! I booked mine via Agoda and so was already paid up. As an aside, when I wanted to extend my stay, it was actually cheaper going online with Agoda again rather than book with them directly, so be warned! The guys who work there are really friendly and helpful. They have tablets and guide books to use for free in exchange for an ID card, free local sweets and cheroots, beer is 2500 kyats, happy hour from 7pm – 9pm on the roof which is a great place to hang out, although seriously needs fans up there!



I had booked a 4 bed dorm and gratefully had the bottom bunk. They also have cages underneath the bunks to store your stuff, so bring a lock. My bed included breakfast which consisted of a variety and mix of egg, toast, butter, jam, pancake, rice and always water melon. Free tea (Burmese tea only, so if you don’t like the bitterness of it like me, bring your own), coffee and water, so please bring your own water bottle to save buying it and wasting plastic. I didn’t actually buy any water for my whole trip, as I always able to refill it. Not only was it freely available at the hostel, it is also available in the pagodas and on the sides of the road and in villages, in clay containers on a shelf in the shade to keep them cool. Such a great idea!



What to do in Mandalay



I’d booked 5 nights and thought that would be sufficient to chill out and absorb the town and the people and the excitement of just being here. However, my peace was rudely disturbed as I kept hearing the words water festival, Thingyan… Erm, what? I thought I’d left the water festival or Songkran as it’s known in Thailand, behind. Apparently, despite my thorough research, I’d overlooked the fact that Burma is the only other country to celebrate their new year at the same time as Thailand and in the same way, ie throwing water over everybody and everything for 5 days solid. Oh joy! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve celebrated Songkran 5 years in a row and it is fun, like seriously fun IF you are in the mood for it. If you are not, and frankly I was utterly over it, it’s a complete pain in the arse. Not only does everything shut down for the whole week (including transport and accommodation that is either full, expensive or not available), many pagodas, shops, restaurants etc are all shut as everyone leaves to go home; and many activities, tours etc don’t run - so much for me waking up each morning and deciding what I wanted to do. So it meant me having to franticly plan the next 2 weeks in 2 days and that’s not much fun, so always check on festivals and celebrations when you go away and see how it will affect you so you are prepared. Mine was a schoolgirl error, but it was manageable, kind of.



The one main thing I wanted to do was take a boat trip to/from Mandalay to Bagan. I love travelling by boat and watching the river life go by, perfect. When I enquired at the OB desk, they were adamant that there weren’t any, for the whole month! What? I asked them to call the companies they used and sure enough, they weren’t running because of the water festival. I couldn’t believe it. The one damn thing I wanted to do here. I had no choice but to book a bus to Bagan instead. But I still had to change money, so I went around the corner and as they were busy exchanging my crisp unmarked US$ and apologetically refusing my invisibly marked US$50 bill, I asked about a boat. No problem they said, when do you want to leave?! Apparently there were boats after all, and so I booked one back from Bagan to Mandalay. It was with the Ayeyarwaddy River Cruise via River Nmai Hka Travels and Tours and cost US$32. So, never trust what you are told, there may be another way, and to be fair there usually is, you just need to find it.



So after I’d arranged my life for the next 14 days, I was finally able to explore Mandalay. Foreigners are not allowed to drive motorbikes so motorbike tours as pillion is very common, or hiring a car if there are several of you. As a walker and perhaps a tad stubborn, I was determined to traverse the city on foot and off I went to the palace. It didn’t look far on the map and into the heat of the day I ventured. Despite my pride and determination and relative enjoyment of observing life on my way and smiling at the locals, the roads seemed to get longer and the heat more intense. I had heard that foreigners were only allowed to enter the palace from the East gate, but of course the nearest gate to me was the South gate and I wondered whether I could enter there and walk around the perimeter of the palace to avoid walking on the pavements which were being currently taken up with wooden construction platforms for the forthcoming Thingyan. The answer was a firm but polite no. So back out onto the busy roads I continued to walk and frankly it was becoming rather uncomfortable and I was beginning to droop. Despite this, I was set on a course and finish it I would, waving away several men on motorbikes who offered to take me round on a tour. “No thank you, I’m walking” I’d smile and tramp on. I rounded the south east corner expecting to see the east gate in sight, to find that I couldn’t even see where the east gate was. Instead a very very long road stretched out in front of me, with oncoming traffic. My confident walk turned to enfeebled steps and my melting body was beginning to disturb the workers as I passed them, grimacing and hitching up my bright yellow daypack that was drenched with sweat. It was not a pretty sight and I was just beginning to question my decision, when a woman appeared in front of me and asked where I was going. “To the palace” I said as I wiped sweat from my eyes. “Would you like a lift on my bike? I can take you round Mandalay for 10,000 kyat” “Oh god yes!”



Funnily enough, I had booked to go on a motorbike tour with a woman called Zimi (referenced in the Lonely Planet; more on her later) the next day to the outer towns around Mandalay. Not that I distrusted a male driver, but I wanted to have a female driver for a change and there didn’t seem to be many around, and here inexplicably was one right in front of me! Her name was Hasina (09777977450 or whatsapp [phone]) and off we went to her friend’s place for my first tealeaf salad and lime shake; palace be damned, I had earned this! So the tour took the rest of the day which was fine. A full walk up Mandalay Hill (from the very bottom I might add and not from mid or higher up as many tours give you) and it’s a fair way up! On the way I attracted the company of a 19 year old student who was very sweet and we chatted. I also then met a 79 year old man who professed to be an astrologer and offered to explore my stars – for $5. Ah no thanks. Ok then $4. Erm no again. Ok $3. I’ll give you $2 – alright! So we sat down and he then proceeded to give me a good luck blessing and tell me I was to have good luck for the next few years. Better than a smack in the face and I was glad of the rest to be honest.



We finally got to the top and I was then accompanied by a host of school children who stared and giggled and I had my photo taken with them. The view was lovely. I’m not saying it was amazing and I was aware that many people make the journey up here for the view at sunrise/sunset, but I’ve seen better views, so up to you. Hasina had wisely stayed at the bottom and after a good hour I rejoined her and off we went visiting practically all the pagodas and chedis Mandalay had to offer. I met many genuinely lovely Burmese people along the way, who put thanaka on my face and turned my cheeks into leaves; smiled and wanted to have their photo taken with me which of course I was more than happy to oblige…for a fee…I’m kidding….they laughed. A very full day and worth the money for sure and it proved to me really how big a city it is. No way on Earth could I have traversed it, no way! The silversmith and the stone cutting were both very interesting and no pressure anywhere or from anyone to purchase anything which was a refreshing change.



In the evening I had bought a ticket to see the traditional puppet show. This cost me $10 and was on for an hour and starred the oldest puppeteer in Burma at 80 something. I’m always interested to see traditional activities and crafts, but this really was massively over priced. The wooden seats were very uncomfortable and despite being inside, I was eaten alive by mossies and both factors made for uncomfortable viewing. There were only 7 of us in the audience and I think the price has a lot to do with that. Why it has to be so expensive I’m not sure.



Next day I was really looking forward to being driven around by another female driver, Zimi, recommended by LP. However, a man turned up instead and when I asked about Zimi, he said she was busy. I was a little annoyed actually as I had made the point of saying to her that I was prepared to pay a little extra for the tour (17,000 as opposed to 15,000 kyat) as I wanted a female driver, as she lets me down without even bothering to let me know. Hey ho, lets go. Today was to take in the surrounding areas of Inwe, Amarapura (where the U-Bein bridge is) and Sagaing. The first unexpected stop was the monastery where everyone and I mean everyone, seems to go to see essentially a lot of monks line up for food donated by a wealthy family. That’s it and I don’t get the uniqueness of it or why it’s a tourist attraction. I mean I’ve done it myself for goodness sake (not as a monk though admittedly) and frankly I felt awkward watching them do it. So I left early and on we went to Sagaing.



Sagaing



An outer part of Mandalay resting on the Irrawaddy river containing multiple pagodas, the main one being Soon U Ponya Shin Pagoda, reached by numerous stairs to reach the summit. A beautiful ride around and many opportunities to take photos while riding pillion.





Inwe



Another past capitol of Burma between the 14^th and 19^th centuries, finally abandoned after a series of devastating earthquakes in 1839. In order to get to Inwe, we evidently had a choice of ways and methods, so the driver informed me. We could continue by bike that is not so scenic and costs another 2,000 kyat, or across a body of water by boat and a horse and carriage ride which would cost 10,000 kyat. Erm Zimi did not mention any of this and why do I have to pay another 2,000 kyat to continue on the bike? After further discussion I told him emphatically I was not paying anymore as I was already paying 2,000 over the average as it was for a female driver I do not have! Both a little peeved, off we went along the not so scenic route and rather pleased, as I discovered later that the horse and carriage looked and indeed was, (as confirmed by several people I spoke to who had done it and were still walking a little hunched over), decidedly uncomfortable and not worth at all the 10,000 price tag. Once again lots of religious ruins and I asked him to stop off while I had a walk around the village and chatted to the locals and the kids playing – well I said Minglabar (hello) and they said hello back, so we communicated rather effectively I thought. One of the main sites here is the MalNu Monastery is still complete with ancient beauty. The Ava Palace is now virtually deserted save for the Watchtower that you can only see from the ground as you are not allowed to climb up it. The beautiful wooden Bagaya Monastery has still retained its intricate carvings and you can access all areas on foot. There are numerous attempts of women to sell you jade and other wares just in case you missed the opportunity before. There are many other stupas as you drive around that have suffered varying degrees of destruction and decay, but fascinating to see and explore nonetheless, including Yadana Hsimi Pagodas with the large Buddha still standing proud in the ruins.



Amarapura



Final stop on our whirlwind and rather muted tour, as the driver failed to actually explain where we were at any one time nor discuss any background to any of the sites whatsoever. The capitol of Burma pre Mandalay, known as the “City of Immortality” is now a leafy suburban area that contains the U-Bein teak footbridge. I was managing to take a number of pretty good “drive by shooting” shots of every day life as we drove around and it was proving to be a very interesting and quite beautiful area with mountains, rivers, lakes, pagaodas and views for miles around, and of course the U-Bein bridge – the longest teak bridge in the world. You can walk across the whole thing in about 30 mins taking in the views on both sides of fields and the river. Many people come for the sunrise but I’m not a morning person and believe me, the sunset was breathtaking. The bridge has several sections along the way where you can sit and shelter, get some refreshments and with steps to explore below. After I had walked the length of the bridge, had my photo taken with random smiling strangers including monks and turned around, I chose the steps closest to the side I’d started from and so closest to the sunset. Conveniently, there was a bar shack, where a Myanmar beer and a plastic table and chair had my name on it. A water buffalo in front of me set the idyllic picture perfect. Afterwards, on my way to find my driver, I met a monk who despite being in his 70s had only been a monk for 11 years. His story was that he had been a political prisoner for 7 years and when he came out his wife died. What else was he to do and so he joined the monastery and meditate, fascinating. A great day, despite the lack of a guided tour, but one thing for sure, no matter where I was or how long I was at any particular place, I was always found by him. I’m not sure how he did it - now there’s a skill and a useful one at that.





Bagan



Because of the boat to Bagan debacle, I was now lumbered with a 5 hour bus journey. But I had high hopes that it would be on one of the bigger buses with air con and some legroom, no worries. A songtow (a human cattle truck) picked me up, but from my experience this was just going to take us to the bus terminal…right? Right! Ha! Travelling experience right there! The bus, however, was not the large bus, it was a small local bus, with no air con or suspension, but nay fear, it was more comfortable than it looked and I bagged a seat at the front with some decent leg room. 5 hours later we begun to pass ancient relics of the Burmese religious past peaking over the dried brush and trees that littered the sandy landscape. We were here! I raised a momentary internal cheer that was suddenly sent screaming back down when a woman jumped on the stationary bus and demanded 25,000 kyat (US$25). Erm, what? Who are you and what for? For the honour of entering into the sacred archaeological zone of Bagan…….



Now I must explain something here to you. I was never a big fan of visiting Bagan to begin with. The only reason I wanted to come was for the boat ride, but after that was thwarted on the way, I decided to see what all the fuss was about and visit it anyway, I mean I was here I may as well right? Then when I managed to secure a boat ride back, it was clearly meant to be! So as I was only staying for 2 nights, I had cleverly decided to bring only my daypack and leave my big bag at the hostel in Mandalay, and only bring enough money for 2 days. So I had budgeted carefully – but not for this. Not for 25,000 bloody kyats. I had no choice but to pay it, otherwise I was to spend 2 days in a sand pit on the border of Bagan. Instead I was to spend 2 days in a sandpit inside Bagan with only 9,000 kyat to my name and no way of getting any other money out. The Ostello Bello hostel was already paid for online thank goodness and the lift was to the door, however, after they took my 5,000 kyat deposit for the key, I had 4,000 kyat to my name. E-bikes were the only way to get around (you can get a bicycle but the sandy roads make this an almost impossibility unless you are Chris Hoey) and they cost 7,000 kyats. Oh brilliant! Ok what to do…..and then I saw a guy I had met (I say met, basically spoken to for 5 mins the day I had arrived in Mandalay before I promptly fell asleep with my book over my face). His name was Chris from Germany. I remember because he was my temporary savior and my dad and my best friend are called Chris, so it was a sign….. ahem. Anyway, it just so happened that he was leaving that night and still had his e-bike that didn’t need bringing back until 9pm and I could have it! Yey! So I dumped my bags and waited around for the free sunset tour the hostel offered that left in 30 mins. Well, so they said, I mean, I did ask about the tour at reception several times and I hung around like a suspicious character for longer than that, to then find out they had already left. Dammit! So armed with a small inaccurate paper map, I set off on my own to explore what I could of Bagan while there was still enough light and I still had a method of transportation; so effectively 2 hours with the e-bike travelling at 20mph. I had accepted the fact that I was not going to see many of the sights but was determined to do my best.



Bagan is fairly spread out with many and I mean many pagodas all over the place. Deciding which to see is a personal choice after time spent researching them and seeing which would have the best and most breathtaking views for the sunset. For me, it was the closest one with the highest roof, done! Let’s go! Unfortunately the one I chose had also been chosen by 50 other people who were already crowded onto it. I bravely fought my way through, took some photos of the sun’s flames expunged by the moon’s magnetism (if only it had been that dramatic), ooh and ahhd (I didn’t) and went down. Right I have 30 mins of light left, so I set off at a mighty pace to see what I could in the time I had left – which turned out to be not a lot on both counts. It transpired that the road I decided to take was long and took me away from the both my ultimate destination (my dorm room) and any pagodas of significance. Before I had time to turn around and head back the way I had come, it was getting very dark. No problem, I’ll switch on the headlights ……no headlights. Oh bugger. Rather problematic as there was no other source of lighting on the road, nor buildings, nor sky as it happened that night. I was left with only one alternative, my phone torch, which I masterfully placed between my breasts as the only place it could have been of some use to see where I was going. So chest out, deep breath, off I went to try to end the day without further incident or injury. Inevitably I got lost and twice had to ask the way, while temporarily blinding the director on each occasion. Finally, after another nerve wracking 20 minutes, I slithered in on sand and sweat and gratefully handed over my suicide mobile. “No lights” as I gestured towards the bike. Simply and with a smile she leaned over and switched them on. “Oh, right” erm, “thanks” and sloped off next door to my room. No dinner for me, cos I had no money. Best to just go to sleep.



After showering and lying on my top bunk reading, I got chatting with my lower bunk buddy, Theresa from Hong Kong. Lovely lady and I garnered her with my days tribulations and grievances and once unburdened, turned back to my book. About 5 mins later she stood up and asked whether I had enough money for food. Basically the simple answer was no, but I had already planned out in my head that breakfast was included, there was a spoonful of pasta at 1pm and 7pm at the hostel and I could refill my water bottle at my leisure, so I could manage. She looked doubtful and held out her hand. I had automatically taken the object before I realised that it was a 10,000 kyat note. “For some dinner.” I was mortified and incredibly embarrassed. “Oh gosh I couldn’t possibly, I mean I didn’t tell you to suggest that…oh no” She was so sweet and said that she realized that I would be embarrassed and so was she for offering in case I refused it, but me refusing it would cause her more embarrassment. How could I refuse now? So so lovely of her. I felt humbled and stupid, not a good feeling in all honesty and I made a mental note never to short change myself again in future. She left the next day and although I bumped into her in Mandalay and offered to repay her or buy her a drink or dinner, she politely refused and was on her way again. I was so fortunate to meet the people I needed to at the right moment. And the dinner I bought the next evening at the Moon vegetarian restaurant was delicious and I highly recommend it.



Actually the next day was much improved. I decided to do a walk about and find a pagoda that was quiet and secluded so that I could do some meditation. Actually, that was all I wanted to do, but so far had not had the chance. So off I went. Now, I must point out that it is low season for a reason, it’s hot and I mean BLOODY HOT! OOOOH say around 45 degrees celcius. Seriously! I melted, again. Eugh not pleasant. Luckily I literally tripped over pagodas they are so plentiful; clean, not so much; empty, well apart from locals seeking shelter from the sun and having a nap; quiet, only if you ignore the blaring karaoke that seemed popular at 10am. So on I wandered and finally found somewhere that looked, well, OK. It even had a brush that I used diligently to clean a square metre for me to plonk myself down and meditate for 30 mins.



Afterwards I went for a walk and headed down to the Riverside Restaurant, which was funnily enough supposed to be by the river. What the now disintegrating map didn’t show you was that it also consisted of a walk of several miles to get there. These Burmese maps so far were really misleading. It looked so close otherwise. Anyway, once committed….. and so I marched and got to the gate where a man looked at me and queried where I was going. As I told him he looked quizzingly at me and I was curious as to why. I was soon to find out. I was entering what appeared to be a parkland consisting of many tracks, trees, people working, and a stag! Unusual, but true, there was a stag in an enclosure. Who knew? On I walked, dutifully following the signs to the restaurant with the river view, until I finally arrived. Wow! What a view, not of a river as such, more a large pond, but a lovely view all the same. And a deck chair with a footstool and cushions. I had arrived! Beer please (with the little money I had left but I had deserved it). Upon drinking down the cold liquid gold, I looked out at the stunning view and unbelievable 2 more stags wandered into view! They played around in the pond and munched away as I smiled at my good fortune. This was definitely a marked improvement on yesterday’s palava!



After having a nice nap and heading back out again, I came across the Moon restaurant which finished off a great day. Still, I looked forward to leaving the next day, despite the 4am start and 5am boat check in. It would be worth it…and it absolutely was! Although the taxi to the boat was 10,000 kyat (expensive but a 30 min ride), I had arranged for a take away breakfast that I was grateful for later. The OB hostel, although the usual clean etc, was also extortionately priced at $30 for a 4 bed dorm. So all in all I did not enjoy Bagan. I know I know, people rave about it blah blah and I kind of get it, but it wasn’t for me and could have done without the added and hidden expense.



With Bagan behind me, the boat left around 5.30am with 11 people plus crew on board. A simple affair, but with air con downstairs and an open deck upstairs. We enjoyed sunrise and as the boat ride was upstream, so rather than the 10 hours, it took 15 hours, we got to see the sunset over the river as well. Perfect! Best way to travel and observe river life as you pass by. Tips for a boat ride. 1. Always presume the trip will take at least several hours longer than it states. 2. Take lots to read or do ie card games, writing etc. 3. Take extra food with you. Although they did serve you breakfast and lunch, that was it and there was no shop on board for anything else except beer, which is all well and good if you wanted beer. If you did not, then you were a bit buggered. They did have water though and didn’t charge me for it as I refilled my water bottle like a good girl, rather than buying new bottles. 4. Take lots of pictures and watch the world go by.

5. Chat to the crew. The locals usually speak fairly good English and like to practice and have interesting lives and aspirations. I got chatting with one of the female crew members who was practicing her English to be a tour guide and she kindly arranged for someone to pick me up at the pier and drive me to OB hostel for 2,000 kyat. Happily reunited with my bag and money, I had a few beers, enjoyed a pub quiz on the roof and slept soundly. Another early morning awaited, as I was booked on a 9am bus to Kalaw. Oh joy!











Kalaw



Fully breakfasted although still without enjoying a cup of tea, as I just couldn’t take to the bitterness of the Burmese tea and only brought peppermint tea bags with me, why? Why? I was collected on time and roughly dumped at the bus station. Despite paying 14,500 kyats, hopes of a large air conned bus quickly faded as I was pointed to a mini bus that had seen much much better days and looked badly in need of a service. Still, I’d had worse and still reached my destination…eventually. What I wasn’t expecting was that apparently we had already had seats allocated to us and mine was squashed right at the back – the worst seat in this sorry vehicle that even when it was brand new and empty would have had no suspension and no legroom. My back was going to kill me and my legs were going to abandon me. I tried to explain that I wanted to change, but was met with a solid no, that was my seat, take it or leave it. I was seriously thinking of leaving it to be honest and wistfully looked over at the large VIP coaches thinking how on earth do you get a seat on one of those things? Like bloody gold dust! Anyway, I thought I’d try my luck at asking the other passengers inside, despite the abrupt driver’s refusal. So I smiled as I looked around the bus and asked if anyone would very much mind changing seats with me as I get car sick (I thought this was easier to convey than cramped legs and an aching back). Fortunately, they very kindly shifted around some seats and gave me the one by the door. Magic! Je zoo bar!!!



Sometimes, you may be sorry for what you ask for and this was partially true on my journey. Now I don’t get car sick at all and they were probably wondering how I was managing with reading my book diligently while the driver drove erratically on the other side of the road as we rapidly climbed the mountainous winding inclines. I felt mildly guilty, that was until the woman next to me starting vomiting, quietly admittedly, but when it’s right next to you and is orange and smells of well vomit, it kind of grabs your attention and doesn’t let go. The questionable caliber of driving was incessant as were the numerous persistent turns around the mountain that only exacerbated the unsettling and outpouring of the poor lady’s stomach contents. Dear god the smell was in fact quite nauseating. Fortunately after a quick stop to let out a passenger, this freed up a seat in the front and I literally threw myself into the free space, not just from my eagerness to escape the smell and sound of retching, but the fact that the driver had already set off at a pace to challenge Usain Bolt. A safe distance away, I reached into my bag and found my tiger balm – use #45 - preventing nostrils filling with vile odours. Thankfully, after 5.5 hours, we were finally in Kalaw without further traumas and what a relief, not just to be rid of the bus, but to breathe cool mountain air!



I had no idea where my guesthouse was, but was offered a lift for 2,000 kyat to take me and after literally a 3 min drive, I arrived - it is that small a place, essentially one main road in and out. A far cry from Mandalay for sure and that’s fine by me. I can finally walk again! The place I stayed at was called Genesis Motel and what a perfect place to restore my energy and sort myself out. Quiet, homely and the people who ran it couldn’t have been sweeter or more thoughtful.

My room was small, clean and with an ensuite, but no fan. Now I know it can get chilly in the evenings but this was smelting heat season and there was little chance of me requiring a heater which is exactly what I found in the corner thinking it was a fan. When I asked for one, I was told they did not have one, so I had to insist on them please finding me one which they did do and it was duly installed in my room. Perfect. After then enquiring what I would like for breakfast (including the number of pieces of toast) and the exact time I would like it, I asked about laundry. There was no laundry, but they offered to do it but priced per piece. This was to become a rather familiar method for laundry here and Lake Inle. Kalaw in particular was very expensive as she quoted me US$15! Now I know I had a lot but not that much! I said I would take my bundle and find one, it couldn’t be that hard could it?



So off I went on a wander through the single main street of Kalaw with my dirty laundry under my arm. Despite the relatively remote location, I was not alone, for it seemed that the whole town was turning out for an event as they lined both sides of the road. I could hear distant chiming and drums and some costumed folk, but nothing that had actually started yet. I drew some glances but didn’t think anything of it, I was used to being looked at, a stranger in a foreign land and all that and off I continued on my search for a place of detergents and clean smells. Alas, after walking the length of the road and enquiring at a few places, no one knew of anywhere. I even stopped in at Ever Smile, the trekking place to book my 3 day trek to Lake Inle. I spoke with Toe Toe, a rather humourless woman who was quite happy to add my name to the list leaving in 2 days time and take my money but not very receptive of my questions, one of which was whether I could wear flip flops on the trek (an absolute no no) and where could I get my washing done. Her reply was that people were too busy working and keeping house to do such things and maybe I should hand wash it myself! Frankly, even if I had room to hang it and a place for it to dry in time for my impending departure on a 3 day trek, then I would still prefer for someone else to do it. I hate hand washing and if I can inject some income into the local economy to remove a fundamental hated domestic chore while I am travelling, then that is what I’d prefer to do thank you! So after being separated from 40,000 kyat for the trek that includes everything except water, beer and the 12,000 kyat for entry to Inle Lake which she confirmed went straight to the government’s coffers and not to the community or the environment, I picked up my bundle and continued my desperate search to do my laundry.



Once outside though, I was met full on with a massive procession, which included hundreds of brightly coloured and fanciful male and female dancers; oxen pulling carts, highly decorated floats and carriages with people throwing confetti and flowers; stunning proud and manicured black horses and 3 gorgeous painted elephants, each with a young boy sitting on their heads, also in full regalia. The crowds were jubilant, smiling and looking immensely chuffed with the whole event, often interspersed with curious looks at me and then my bag of clothes. It was not until I looked down at the bag that I realized that I had at least 2 bras that had sneakily ended up protruding from where I had not so securely tied it up, and so had in fact exposed my dirty laundry through the street of Kalaw and to all its population. Brilliant. I gave my creature comfort grin, stuffed them back in, took a few more photos and shuffled off again. My search was becoming in vain, especially when I stopped in at a guesthouse and although they did laundry, it was only for residents and not for the likes of me. Sigh.



Just as I was about to give up, there in front of me, by the clock tower, there was a sign, a glorious sign that said “Laundry”! I was saved! Up a side street on the left hand side and a further 50 metres along, there it was. Again per piece but it came to a total of 8,600 kyats. Expensive still but cheaper than at my motel and I needed it doing. In hindsight I should have gotten it done at the hostel before leaving Mandalay but I really didn’t expect it to be so difficult or expensive. This was the only laundry place in the whole of Kalaw!



The next day, after my specific breakfast at the allotted time, I went off to explore Kalaw and walk to the Cave Pagoda Shwe Oo Min. It is a 30 min walk though Kalaw and is a charming and easy walk through such a beautiful town, greeting friendly people and watching life in the mountains. I love caves and a pagoda in a cave was a dead cert. The cave is actually in what appears to be a national park and I seemed to be the only one who walked there. Everyone else arrives by car or bus. As a consequence, they miss out on the local life that surrounds the pagoda. This consists of long shacks, divided up on one side into individual sections each dedicated to an individuals business, including a barber, a sewing / mending place and others that seemed to be either grocery shops or selling posters. On the other side is where they live and so it’s a charming separate community that I presume supports the pagoda and the monks who live there.



The pagoda and cave itself are absolutely stunning and for me is one of the most aesthetically glorious religious buildings and settings I have ever seen in a long time. The caves are cool and packed full of Buddha statues, some with flashing colourful haloes which was to become a common sight oddly enough. When I enquired as to why such revered artifacts had this modern addition, I was told that it may be to portray the energy emanating from it. OK.



It was quiet and solemn, save for the garish flashing lights and I managed to find a secluded corner in the back of the cave for some meditation. Really quite an extraordinary feel about the place. I loved it. Once you leave this cave, there is another cave, but this is damp and dark, which was fine for me, but slippery so be warned.



The evening brought me out to try the Nepalese restaurant, ingeniously called “Everest”, but the food was excellent and fairly priced. I bumped into a couple I met at the U-Bein bridge and they took me to a really cool little dive bar round the corner called Hi Snack and Drink, miss it and you miss out. It’s a tiny dark place with the owner as bar tender and the locals who play guitar and sing, well as it happens. The main drink here is a rum sour and boy it’s moreish and at around 1500 kyat a good deal. It closes when the last person leaves, which in a place like this is actually quite early, around 11pm. There is nothing on afterwards, so go home and get some sleep!



The next day consisted of me collecting my laundry (hooray), getting some money out and obtaining some Thanaka. This is the bark from the Thanaka tree that is the local natural sun cream and all round amazing antidote to ageing and wrinkles. I asked about it at the motel and they were so sweet as to give me some raw Thanaka. All you do is add water to a flat grinding stone and grind the bark into it and it creates a thin greenish paste that you apply directly to your skin. Brilliant! But erm how would I take this on my trek and use it? After refusing to take the flat stone that weighed more than my daypack, she recommended me buy the already prepared thanaka in a handy tub. Be warned, there is on sale fake Thanaka! Yes, there is a fake Thanaka tree apparently and they sell it to unsuspecting tourists. The most natural pre-prepared one is the Shwe Pyi Nan and at 1500 kyat for a large tub is great value. Just add a bit of water to it and rub it on. It really works and replaced any need for me to buy anything else. After finding that and mooching around, I ended up having a really lovely last day chilling and preparing for my trek the next day and with clean clothes. One thing I wasn’t able to get though was money, as the banks closed at around 2pm and didn’t open again until 10am the next day. However, they assured me there were banks in Inle and I wasn’t going to need much money on the trek so not such a trauma, but bear this in mind.



Lake Inle



So after 2 days chilling in Kalaw, I would have liked to stay a bit longer actually, I was ready for the off. You only take a daypack with you and the company sends your backpack to wherever you are staying in Inle. So I went with Ever Smile as it was highly recommended and to be honest, it is deserved. We had a large group and it is supposed to be maximum 12 people, but last minute there were 3 others who wanted to join, and of course we agreed and were given another guide. So our group was 14 to start off with, but this was later to grow again, as on the second day, another 2 joined us and of course who were we to say no. The guides called Lou and Zol were both great. They looked after us, talked to us and explained everything we wanted and needed to know about Burma, the people, the dress, the food and the surroundings.



The food was absolutely superb and all vegetarian! The accommodation was all authentic homestays in villages that we had trekked blimin’ miles to get to and in the searing heat, frequently in open countryside and so shelter or shade was few and far between. The groups after us though ended up trekking in the pouring rain, so take your pick as to which you would have preferred. Either way, I loved the experience, although felt that often times it was more a forced march than a trek, as if you stopped to admire and absorb your surroundings, the group had advanced 100 metres and you had to catch up. Added to which, the alleged absolute need for me to wear walking shoes had meant me ending up with painful blisters from my shoes that had evidentally not been fully broken in. I ended up doing the rest of the trek in my flip flops as I had initially intended and had enquired about. As with all treks, it’s down to the guides and the group you are with. The guides were just great, the group were OK, albeit young and full of inane conversation, so by the end of it, I was glad to get to Inle.



I was staying a week in Inle as I just wanted to chill and avoid Thingyan, the water festival for Burmese new year. With open wounds on my feet, it was best that I didn’t venture out anyway and I was absolutely fine with that! I was staying again at Ostello Bello (OB) and it was just great with the same clean and fun conditions, friendly staff and a roof top area. Food was good although bit pricey, limited choice and slow to arrive, but who’s in a rush? Tomato salad was great but they do like their food oily. After a few days I had finished my tomb of a book and wanted to venture out, so I braved getting wet, and went for a traditional Burmese massage. I’m used to Thai massages and wasn’t sure what to expect, so let me enlighten you – it’s hard and fast and with needle like fingers of steel digging into your whole body, it didn’t make for a relaxing or rejuvenating experience. I went to Venus and they were lovely, They even picked me up on their motorbike so I didn’t have to walk (it was raining as well and a bit chilly), but despite this, there were still some resistant guys around who were intent on still celebrating the water festival and I got a bowl full of water poured over me. Cheers. 7,000 kyat though for the massage so not bad I guess and it got me out the hostel.



I also managed to do a cookery course with Mercury, organized through the hostel and it was fun, although due to the residual new year holidays, the market was sparce. I made peanut curry; lentil soup; tealeaf salad and a Burmese appetiser that was deep fried and not so tasty for me anyway. The rest though was delicious and I brought back the rest with me. They also gave me some turmeric and tea leaves so I could prepare my own.



Finally the rained cleared and the water festival was over, although there were some restaurants and places still closed, which was a bit frustrating. I hired a bicycle for 1500 kyat and attempted to ride to the caves, but took one look at the rather mountainous path, turned around, and cycled around the flatter terrain of the town for a few hours, concluding with a visit to Aqua Lillies spa for a couple of hours treatment. Perfect! I then spent my last day on a boat on the river. First was sunrise. Yes I got up at 5am to see this amazing spectacle. What I would advise is this, do it, but don’t do it just for the sunrise as it’s a waste of time and money. The fishermen do this fake practiced acrobatic performance that is supposed to recreate the act of fishing, but clearly isn’t, and they expect money. You can actually see them authentically fishing during the day and for free. Get a boat for the whole day from sunrise and you can also dictate to them which workshops and places you want to go and visit, rather than be at their mercy. The various unique flavoured cigarillos that are hand rolled are interesting and they have free samples. However, if you like them they are only available here, as are most of the products sold on the lake, including the lotus silk. Other silk items woven by the long necked ladies are also individual to these women, so if you want a special memento and one that is useful, then buy it. But be warned again, the lotus silk is 7x more expensive than silk! Unbelievably! So a scarf is around US$300. On the whole, all the shopping is expensive on the lake but the lake and the floating gardens is such a serene and fascinating place to be and to be taken by boat is such joy. Well worth to pay around 20,000 to 25,000 per boat, so the more of you the cheaper it is.



So, relaxed and beautified I was ready for Yangon. Having given up on ever getting a 10 hour VIP comfy coach, I wisely opted for a 1.5 hour flight. Interestingly, I tried to buy a flight from Heho (the airport serving Inle) to Yangon online but couldn’t get cheaper than $92 and it wouldn’t go through anyway. So I found a travel agent and it was actually cheaper at $82! And the taxi from there was also cheaper than at the hostel at 15,000, where other taxis wanted around 20,000. Plus someone saw my ad for a taxi share, so we shared the cost there and at the other end. Bonus!



Yangon



Heho airport is a tiny place and I was able to ask if I could watch the planes take off and land. I have always had a fascination for this and they happily allowed me. Terrorists be damned! Pleasant flight and despite no seat allocation, there was no death defying rush to board.



And so I reach my final destination in Burma and successfully before the evil golden arches of McDonalds arrives! Finding a taxi was easy as you are accosted as soon as you leave the airport, but remember to haggle. We were told initially 20,000 to take us to downtown, which is extortionate, so we refused and moved on. Finally we got a guy to take us for 10,000 kyat. No taxis have metres so all fares must be agreed prior to getting in.



I was staying at the Shwe Yo Vintage Hostel on 15^th street and what a great place this was! The family who own and run it are really genuinely lovely and so helpful and interested in where you want to go, how you get there and whether you have a good time. They offer free breakfast which is basically what they eat and is delicious. They also offer lunch for only 2,000 kyat. I’d booked a double room with ensuite as a little luxury for my last 3 nights. The room they gave me was lovely and clean, but it was next to reception and so was quite noisy, especially in the morning, so I asked to change. No problem, they gave me the twin room upstairs. Same condition plus an antique Burmese dresser that smelt divinely musty and historical. Free tea, coffee and water with cucumber in was also provided in the reception and breakfast area. They also arrange tours, taxis and the usual helpful stuff. It is also quite ideally placed for everything, especially Chinatown, the buses, the river and food! The food is just fantastic. I met a friend on the penultimate day and she introduced me to Mala Hin, a spicy veggie dish of noodles and lotus root, it was absolutely delicious. I went back again to the same place on my last night for the same dish. This was on 19^th street in Chinatown called New Shwe Minglabar, opposite a sign for Kao San (similar to Khao San the famous touristy place in Bangkok). Street food generally is good and plentiful and readily available, especially downtown and near the river at the night market. This was also the location a young tattoo artist considered would be suitable to set up his mobile studio and I watched with a mixture of interest and horror as he steadily tattooed another young man’s chest, as massive trucks came hurtling past lit only by their headlights and a makeshift lamp.





So things to do: Striking having a tattoo off my list, I instead decided to take the circular train around the city the next day, which is cheap for only 200 kyat. I was told upon arriving at the station that the next train was due in an hour, so I sat down to watch life go by and a train arrive and leave. When another train arrived, a man on the platform gestured for me to get on it. I indicated the destination of my train by making a circular motion with my hand, he seemed to understand and nodded. But just to be sure, I showed the ticket to the driver as he stuck his head out of the cab, yes sure enough I got on. So don’t be too reliant on what people in the know tell you! The carriage seemed cosy enough and not like it had been described to me by others who had used it, so I settled down opposite 2 girls who giggled and stared, as did most of the people around me. I was just happy to be there, so started Minglabar-ing everybody and looking out of the window.



Many people move through the train selling food, drinks, cigarillos and beetle nut packages that can contain a varied mixture of some but not all of tobacco, lime paste, coconut, beetle nut, and wrapped in the leaf. You put in your mouth for a variety of reasons, including refreshing your mouth as it has health properties, getting a high (tobacco) and it’s a general past time. However, if you have too much, then your mouth goes red and your teeth go black and tend to rot. Swings and roundabouts.



The girls opposite me got a bag of fried crickets that they offered to me and I thought why not. Not bad but not for me. What I did buy was a delicious mix of tofu (baybya), coriander, spring onion and chilli. YUM, and only 100 kyat. They departed at Insein and it was 2 stops after that that the conductor came up to me and asked me where I was going. “Oh just around” I said. “Then you must get off here, change trains and track.” Oh right OK. It was a station in the north called Danyingon and what a fascinating place! The market sprawled all over the tracks and was in full swing when I arrived around lunchtime. I was the only foreigner and it was so great. I wandered around taking photos, making sure that if they were close up I asked. I think it’s rude to take personal shots of people without doing so. I found a little shack that served me sweet milky tea that was delicious and I watched a bit of a crazy Burmese soap opera. When finished I went in search of a toilet, passing inquisitive and giggling kids and adults, nuns and monks, although they didn’t giggle so much, but they still smiled serenely.



After my little wander around which ended up to be fruitless, it was pointed out to me that it was directly across from where I had arrived and was currently standing. Typical! That done, I only had a few minutes to wait until the train arrived. As soon as people started shifting their wares and getting all excited, I realized it was time. The train was packed, disgorging people from all carriages and baskets and wares through the windows, but being immediately refilled by more people, food, huge bags, and carriers. I ended up being the last on as I couldn’t find the secret to getting on amongst the melee. Once on I finally found a place next to a large woman surrounded by her purchases. This train was very different to the last one I was on and more akin to the ones previously described to me. It occurred to me then that I may have been on the wrong train earlier, but nevermind, I seemed to be heading in the right direction…I think. Mapsme came out to confirm I was. Everyone seemed happy regardless including an ancient monk who was listening to a radio programme on a mobile phone that was held up to his ear by a fellow passenger. More beetle nut packages, more food, more drink, more interesting life both inside and outside the carriages as we travelled along the countryside. Village after village, small, large, some with satellites, some with animals, but all sadly and inevitably with a huge amount of rubbish that was often piled high alongside the huts.



Once back in the city, I went to Scottsmarket just for a looksee. It was interesting but I’m not one to buy souvenirs and really didn’t want to buy anything at all, so just mooched on through. I ended up on the other side where I had an iced milky tea and watched the world go by. One thing I noticed was that everyone always looked smart with their longyis and happy and friendly with their smiles. I’d seen some bakeries recommended and thought I’d check them out on the way back to the hostel. I do not recommend the Parisian bakery in Chinatown. It is expensive and not that tasty. Daren’s bakery is also expensive but had some nice things but not a big choice. One thing that is hard not to miss are the huge number of very large crows that inhabit the city, unusually and no one seems to know why or how. Strange.



Chinatown is always an interesting place to walk around and Yangon is easily traversed being on a grid and serviced by many buses if you don’t wish to walk. There are 2 exquisite Chinese temples that I visited, as well as a book shop (the only one I saw) on 15^th Street that contained a number of English books and ancient manuscripts, mostly copies, but interesting all the same, including a book glamorizing and commemorating the achievements of General Ne Win….ahem.



The last thing on my list was the National Museum that was only a 30 min walk from the hostel. As I arrived I was met by a volunteer guide who was lovely and informative, albeit a little wayward on some of his information, about the Rohingyas for example needing to go back to their country of Bangladesh etc. I just listened. I was there for 4 hours and asked countless questions as I am want to do and so tipped him 4,000 kyat, although he did not expect it. I know this because you are required to leave your belongings in a locker outside the front door of the museum and you depart ways before that. So they are genuinely volunteers which is a good feeling that you are not expected to tip.



I got a bus back into town for 200 kyat and thank god I did as my back was killing me and I was hot and tired. Learning about the history of Burma was exhausting! I had successfully done everything I wanted to do in Yangon in only 3 days, including of course the Shwedagon Pagoda that my friend took me to for sunset. It is a stunning building and the 8,000 kyat entrance fee is well worth it and stay around for about 30mins to an hour.



Final Thoughts



I loved Burma, the country and the people. I want to go back of course, but more off the beaten track next time and head south, now that I have a better idea of what to expect. Expect intermittent or no wifi and multiple electricity cuts that I don’t care about. What was more important to me was to get a feel of the place and the people and I was satisfied that there was a lot more to explore and discover, but away from other foreigners, that’s where the richest knowledge and experiences lie. What annoys me is that wherever there are foreigners who come and buy things, they have a tendency to compare the local prices to those from their home country and of course the price is always going to be a lot cheaper, so they think they are getting a bargain and so they pay the first price that is asked. This then encourages an inflation of the prices, which then has an effect on the local market economy and changes peoples impression and opinion of tourists as stupid and ignorant and so they charge more and more until it begins to affect the actual cost of living in that country. It’s happened all over the world, Thailand in particular and I’m afraid will happen to Burma now that it is open to the world. Accommodation is already expensive for both locals and tourists whilst minimum pay has not changed and this will only get worse. It is bound to become more materialistic and Western influenced which will only have a negative impact and will be such a shame. Currently it has this naïve traditional beauty about it that is rare in this day and age and should be treasured.

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