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Published: April 5th 2010
So this random Thai guy...
bumped into me at Sydney airport and asked me to carry this case for him for a few dollars and a business class seat. Imagine my surprise when taking a sneaky look in the plane toilets that it was stashed with Benjamins. RESULT! I'm not working again for years...Some brief ramblings detailing an awesome 38 days in a stunningly beautiful country with
the friendliest people I have ever met (obviously excluding you ugly lot 😉. They are chilled out Buddhists and mad footy fans - is it appropriate for a monastery to have a satellite dish for Champions League games??
To put a few basic things in perspective:
1. Most places have only 5-10 hours of grid electricity per day;
2. The information superhighway is regularly switched off, sites blocked etc…;
3. Only one party will be standing at this year’s election;
4. Locals opposing the lovely rulers regularly disappear…
5. The national newspaper, The New Light of Myanmar, states in every edition that
‘the BBC is sowing hatred among the people’. It is rated as being the 5th worst country in terms of freedom of the press by ‘Reporters without Borders’. I thought CeeBeebies was bad but?!
6. Most of the university graduates return to their familes to work in the fields. There is little work for tertiary educated people.
There is an unfortunate and rather sad irony that the author of ‘1984’ spent part of his life here. The Ministry of Truth is everywhere
and I'm pretty sure I was followed at one point.
Mandalay
There is a road. It’s not very interesting. Bit like Mandalay unfortunately.
Mandalay-Mytkyina train
30 hours of joy on a 200m long bouncy castle with square wheels during which I inadvertently perfected the art of levitating whilst sleeping.
Bhamo-Mandalay ferry down the Ayeyarwaddy river
The river level was too low. It was about 4-5ft deep. They knew it. We knew it. They even overloaded it with cargo. We must’ve weighed +150 tonnes. We still sailed. We got stuck on a sandbank. After 2 days during which we made progress for about 5 hours we hired a local boat to take us downstream.
Katha
The home of a ceratin Eric Arthur Blair for a year or so. Burmese Days was based on this quaint little village which had the most delightful Chinese restaurant run in a classic family hierarchy styley. I think the Grandma was a closet Ninja.
Tried to start up a Welsh-Newspeak cross over language but the locals were having none of it 😞
Bagan
4,000 ancient temples.
4 days of
'You only live once'
Their first ever listen to The Strokes.
"Twenty ways to see the world..." severe illness. I won't go into detail but the food here isn't always that good.
One hot-air balloon ride to see them all. Stunning views.
Kalaw-Inle
Hiked for 3 days to remote villages in +35C heat.
Gatecrashed a Pa-O wedding and became the official photographer.
Stayed in a village one night and a monastery the next.
Left a t-shirt depicting a man hitting an ironing board with a baseball bat in a Buddhist monastery. A monk now has this...the irony of it! (Sorry for that).
The villagers have no (or an extremely limited amount) of electricity, basic sanitation, a trickle of a water supply but are some of the happiest people I have ever seen. This may not last if the Coca-Cola Santa arrives in future.
Inle lake
Chilled out lakeside environment with picture perfect sights.
Mawlamyine and Hpa-An
Southern state characterized by the relaxed locals although there is a fair bit of insurgent activity against the oh-so-charming rulers. Power to the people.
Rangoon
The former capital before the Junta moved it to a location further north for strategic reasons.
Full
of run down colonial buildings built by us Brits.
A city of +4m people that basically shuts down after sunset.
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Random Stat Attack
Mossie bite:kill ratio = 473:9
Hours stuck on a sandbank = 24
Average train delay = 4 hours
Number of days I wanted to give the not very nice military peeps a clip around the ear = 38
Michelin star rating of Mandalay train restaurant car = -127
Number of military checkpoints visited = 10
Continuous days of severe stomach cramps and vomiting = 4
Temples seen= c.4,500
Favourite number = 73
Top tunage = Neil Young - Live at Massy Hall (1971)
'88.2%!o(MISSING)f statistics are made up on the spot (Vic Reeves).
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A comment from my high horse - please use your vote in this years election, the Burmese are still fighting for this right. Ta.
Off to Tamil Tigerland today...
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George D
non-member comment
Burma
Hey Chris, Hope your doing well. Seems like your having a blast. Looks like an eye-opening experience. All the best. George