What do you say?

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Hello All...

So what do you say to a single 20 year old young women, 5 to 6 months pregnant, who has just learned that her HIV test is positive? In my case, you hold her hand and say nothing while a kind compassionate case worker tries to console her. This was my experience on Friday at the FACES clinic.

I was back on duty working admissions and referrals. It was pregnant mothers, mothers and babies day. You have to remind yourself when you are there that the women and children here (and there are so many) are HIV positive. It really is very surreal. Anyway, my skills at filling in paperwork are improving. I have had to relearn how to write by 2's (no loop -- otherwise the scanner thinks it is a 6) and my 4's (cross required -- otherwise it is a 9) so that they can be scanned properly. We were just finishing up with a family -- wife (25), father (28) and 2 week old baby girl. Both mom and dad are positive -- don't know about Baby Fiona as she is too young to test. But there is concern because mom has just come forward and has not been on ARVs --we don't know the circumstances of the birth. They have another daughter Lavender (age 7) at home and her status is also unknown. The good thing is that they are now all in care.

Then Beatrice was shown to our outdoor curtain enclosed cubicle. Dennis who I was working with asked her how she was. It was like watching the whole world come down on her as her beautiful brown eyes filled with tears. Can you imagine? I still can't. All I could do was take her hand send her all my positive energy. Dennis was amazing going between Swahili and english explaining that she will need time to digest this, that there is hope if she chooses to look after herself and her baby. That there is every reason to believe that her baby can be born with out her transmitting the virus and that with ARVs and a good lifestyle she can live to long age. Beatrice is still in college -- missed last term. She knows the father but refers to him as a friend. She doesn't know if he is positive -- she will have to decide whether or not to tell him -- still so much shame and taboo around this. Dennis spoke about Beatrice now having the chance to live a focused and purposelful life. It was an interesting way to try to put this in a positive light. She no longer could be reckless -- there were things she now had to do for her and her baby to survive. Very interesting indeed. Needless to say...I have been a little off ever since -- quite shaken really.

Now to change the subject completely -- you should know that I am writing from Nairobi. Arrived hear yesterday morning as the guest of Aga Khan University. My best new friend Evelyn (Ebba for short -- because she is Luo and there is no v in their language -- so Evelyn is shortened to Evva to Ebba -- love that!) is escorting me around and ensuring I am well looked after. I am staying at the beautiful Nairobi Serena Hotel. Very posh...and I am enjoying the pampering. Spent a few hours yesterday and today lounging beside the pool.

I had the opportunity to connect with Rachel Perks, the daugher of Trish Bond who I worked with at United Way, last night. Rachel has being living in these parts some 6 years and is off to work in the congo in September. Her speciality is conflict resolution and governance. We laughed that she looks nothing like her mom...but as I got to know her a little bit more...she is very much like her mom in her commitment to make a difference in this world and to serve others. I joined Rachel, her room mate Tenereh (Iranian for melody -- pretty yes?) and another friend Jim for dinner at a favorite ethopian restaurant. Wonderful flavorful food washed down with great Kenyan beer. You eat with your hands and use a crepe like flat bread (that expands in your stomach big time) to sop up flavorful and saucy meat and veggies dishes. Wonderful and very fun. Great food, great drink and great conversation. Tenereh is American and studying to be a fashion designer. Jim is just relocating to South Africa (from New Jersey) to join his wife who is working for the Clinton Foundation. Jim has been the CEO of the NGO Council here in Kenya -- very well connected lad. After dinner, we headed off to Gypsy -- a happening watering hole to hook up with more of the international group of friends (UK, Indian, Italian, American and Canadian) for a drink and then on to a night club - Club Afrique -- higher end club that plays African Music. It struck me that we really could have been in any city in the world. Nairobi is very cosmopolitain!

Rachel's and my night finished with a run in with the infamous Kenyan Traffic Police. A little scary actually...as the fellow was wielding a big gun. We misread a traffic sign (no exit) and went the wrong way down a street. This was apparently a very big crime. He stopped us, asked for Rachel's drivers license, told us to park at the side of the road -- and proceeded to berate us...threatening to take us down to the station and that we would have to go to court on Monday. Rachel was the epitomy of calm under duress and in a very submissive voice and manner asked questions about what we had done, what the crime was, where was the station. She apologized profusely saying that she didn't see the sign. She was expecting him to ask for money. Fortunately a few other vehicles went the wrong way and it seems the officer got tired of all the questions (deliberate strategy on Rachel's part). She asked meekly for her drivers license back, she got it and we were allowed to leave. Phew...quite the experience..which I thanked her profusely for arranging -- not!

This situation is common. I was also shocked on the belligerance of the guy. At one point he yelled at us..can't you read english. Complete power trip. Anyway my hat off to Rachel who handled the situation with diplomacy and finesse. Police figures are not highly trusted or respected here. Drivers are typically pulled over for speeding or other made up offenses and to get out of it..pay a fine (aka bribe) on the spot so as not to get hauled off to the station or go to court..which is a time killer as you can imagine. What is encouraging though -- is this is regularly discussed in the media and steps are being taken to try to remedy with police commissions etc. In the meantime, big lesson...you do not want to be stopped by police or crook, particularly at night, when driving a car.

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Comments

[Mairi]

Life Changing
Wow Jan, what a life changing experience you are having. Just picturing the scene at the aids clinic makes my stomach tighten and I'm thousands of miles away reading a story!! Seeing it first hand ,as you are, is something that stays with you forever I am sure. People talk about making a difference but you are just out there doing it...can't think of anyone who does it better either. As usual, you are a fab role model for all. Keep the stories comin', they are so interesting and as told with the "Jan twist", also always very entertaining. Take care of yourself. Love M