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Published: August 31st 2013
And so the loop to Uganda brought us back around to Nairobi and found me with ox testicles in my mouth. I suppose I should clarify that sentence. The first 2 weeks(previous blog)delivered many highlights which involved animals, so it seemed only fitting that we should go to a restaurant and try to eat the vast majority of them. We visited Carnivores and paid the exuberant fee of $50 for an all you could eat meat buffet, although sadly those GreenPeace hippy types have ensured that a lot of the more interesting dishes can no longer be eaten. I'm all for saving the planet but I wanted to eat some zebra dammit, if only for payback at having to see 3trillion of them during the tour and the way they act like they have better eyelashes than me. We slowly but surely devoured half a game drive which resulted in some curious findings, for example crocodile goes well with tikka masala sauce and ostrich is delicious (and in Zimbabwe I found out warthog steak is lovely) you can also avoid high bar prices by sneaking in your own bottle of vodka and secreting it under the table. I have also realised
that testicles-when cooked, sliced and neatly presented-weren't too bad at all and that I'll pretty much put anything in my mouth if it looks aesthetically pleasing, which could bring a whole new dimension to how I spend my weekends in the future. Nairobi also brought goodbyes to a few members of the group we really liked which was a shame and the start of the final leg for me, one that would whip me through another 5 countries in 3 weeks and include such highlights as the Serengeti, Zanzibar and Victoria Falls.
Ngorongoro crater & Serengeti. Me and safari parks don't get along. In my experience they give lots of hype and promises of amazing opportunities and rare sights which more often than not fail to deliver, I have previously been to 4 different parks and gone on about 8 game drives and during all those I've never seen a leopard or cheetah for example. Instead they involve hours of aimless manoeuvring to try and catch a glimpse of some beautiful creature worth staring at whilst constantly being told there was plenty of rich pickings the previous day, but invariably you end up finding little and settling for
some hippo or elephant and the result is a huge anti climax. Actually It's a little bit like my nightclub visits now that I think about it. But thankfully the 2 day trip to the ngorongoro and Serengeti delivered on all fronts.
First we visited the ngorongoro crater which was a stunning sight to behold before you even take into account the abundance of wildlife there. The world heritage site is situated in the remnants of an extinct volcano which has sunk in to create a deep crater, the result is a perfect bowl shape with wide open green spaces and a large lake, sunlight streams in from above and there are steep slopes which pretty much keep the animals trapped inside. It's like some kind of genetically modified Jurassic Park where somebody has created the perfect goldfish bowl environment and then thrown in most of the animals you ever wanted to see, I guess some would say that was God but he seemed a bit busy making the rest of the continent poor(apologies to Ricky Gervais for plagiarism). During our drive we saw some of the 'usuals' such as elephants, hippo, the ever present zebra and wildebeest, flamingo,
ostrich and hyena to name but a few. We also got to see some big cats in action when we watched a pair of female lions hunting a lone zebra and for a moment we thought we were going to see the much vaunted kill, but they startled it and it got away. They then climbed a tree which was fascinating to observe and watched intently from above as a herd of buffalo passed directly underneath them, again we were all waiting for the big leap and attack but apparently they never go for any in a group as its too dangerous. It's a wonder any males ever get fed at this rate, bloody women's equal rights they'll be giving you the vote next...We also got really close to another lion drinking at a river, it looked beautiful and rather serene lying there lapping contentedly but I resisted the urge to lean out and stroke it, mind you it was a female so I bet I'd have been alright. Some people thought the ngorongoro was the highlight and with the setting of the crater and sheer volume of animals at each turn it was easy to see why but for
me it was merely the warm up.
That same day we drove the long dusty road to the Serengeti and arrived just before sun set, we were only making our way to the camp but came across 2 leopards and then 5 minutes later we saw a pride of 14 lions, in 30minutes of the Serengeti I'd already seen more than the previous 4 parks combined, it was going to be a good trip. By the end of the following morning we'd seen a total of 25 lions including males, 5 leopards, 4 cheetahs and a vast array of the 'usuals' too, again I realise its a lot about luck and people I'm with insist they have seen similar amounts in the Masai etc but for me these 2 days won hands down. The only thing to make it perfect would have been a kill but we were denied on a further 3 separate occasions, watching each one in action was truly thrilling though and worth the admittance alone. First a couple of leopards took a break from relaxing in a tree to stalk some antelope but gave up when they moved too far(leopards must be the teenagers of
the cat family) then we watched a stereotypical cheetah chase that was right out of an Animal Planet documentary. After some careful stalking it chased an antelope across the plains and was every bit as fast as you'd expect as it effortlessly made up the ground but just at the moment of impact it zigged right and the antelope zagged left and it got away-the perfect moment ruining antelopey bastard. We later watched a female lion for what seemed like an eternity as it patiently inched toward some prey but again failed so overall we saw 4 attempts at a kill and not one success, in fact those stats are eerily similar to my night club visits too. I thought I'd had my fill of safari parks and seen all I wanted but there was one last twist in the bloody tale from Chobe later... After leaving there, and via several shots at the bar in Arusha, we spent a couple of days on the truck travelling through Tanzania past Kilimanjaro and the cradle of mankind, the latter especially reminding me of just how ancient this area of the world is and how long man has been travelling across it,
him with a spear and me with a smart phone. Eventually we arrived at Dar-el-Salam and after a cattle like ferry we reached the island of Zanzibar.
Zanzibar. Our first stop on the island was Stone Town where we spent a few hours wandering the labyrinth of narrow streets containing market stalls, bazars and ornate doors that detailed the mix of Arabic, Persian and Indian influences. It was all a throwback to the one time importance of this island due to its position in the Indian Ocean and the bygone era of the spice route, plus the murky world of the slave trade that thrived there. Stone Town is also famous for being the birthplace of a certain Farrokh Bulsara, a.k.a Freddie Mercury, although this wasn't hugely glamourised around the place which I suspect is a result of his sexual orientation in a place that is predominantly populated by Muslims, a fact brought home with the news of the acid attack on two female tourists just days before we arrived. In a choice of a world filled with Freddie or one where freedom of expression is denied I know where I'd rather be. We moved on to the
north of the island and spent 3 blissful days and nights on the beach there. It was my first real rest since arriving in Africa 4 weeks previously and in that time I had scaled Kili and then jumped straight on to the tour so the chance to lie in one place-not to mention in an actual bed with air conditioning instead of tent and with hot showers instead of cold trickles-was much appreciated and needed. Sadly the weather wasn't overly kind and two of the days were cloudy which has rendered me still looking Scandinavian. But the days passed happily enough as I lazed on loungers on pristine sand, contemplated massages, watched bikini clad women play volleyball, ate beautiful sea food and occasionally dragged myself wearily to bask in the warm Indian Ocean or to watch the football from the bar with a beer...don't be so envious people it's not a pleasant trait... I also had it in mind to scuba dive but nobody else fancied it so we did some snorkelling out on one of the islands. This was pleasant enough and we did at least get to see a turtle but I'd have much preferred the scuba
and getting up closer, it was a little like taking a fork to a soup convention as you couldn't really experience it properly, plus we were stung relentlessly by microscopic plankton which caused bad reactions and sent one of our group to hospital. Thankfully we found a solution in alcohol so spent our nights exploiting the happy hours and drinking our way through the cocktail menu whilst sharing lots of laughs. Sadly Zanzibar also marked the end of the trip for a lot of people including my Team Oooganda(you sort of had to be there) and it meant it was time for some emotional goodbyes to the mix of Aussies, Kiwis and Dutch. The tears are starting to fall on to the iPad so I'll be brief but saying goodbye to this group of 8 who I had been pretty much joined at the hip with for most hours of the last month, and with whom I'd enjoyed some of my best travelling times ever was difficult and I felt bereft after it. I could be found staring forlornly at empty spaces on the truck and snarling viciously at the newcomers who had adopted my friends tents.
Malawi. Once I had finished howling at the moon it was time to board the truck again for a 3 day slog across Tanzania and the regular grind of long bus days, tent sleeping and mojhito-less drinks kicked in. It was a good chance to get to know the new group though, we originally started with 29 people, which dropped to 22 and we were now left with just 10 for my final leg, another good mix of personalities and some great times had, I have been very lucky with the groups on this trip. We visited Malawi to spend 4 nights around its huge fresh water lake that is the 3rd largest in Africa and takes up a huge 20% of the land mass of this landlocked country. Lake Malawi is 570km long and is surrounded by gorgeous beaches, mountains and blue skies,it stretches away as far as the eye can see and it is bewildering to think this is a lake and not an ocean, the water itself has a fairly big tide yet is confusingly fresh and salt free. We took a trip out to an island in the middle and did some cliff jumping, snorkelling and fishing
but otherwise simply relaxed on the beach, again. On the other days there we visited a local village and health centre where they are working hard to combat the malaria and HIV rates which are appallingly high, the latter being 12% of the population, Malawi is deemed one of the poorest countries in the world as over half are deemed chronically malnourished. These seem like meaningless numbers on a page but when you actually stop and think about a country which has a life expectancy of just 43 and especially when you see it up close it really hits home. But is is also known as the warm heart of Africa and this was certainly evident in the chatty, smiley and friendly locals we encountered, how people can be so happy and willing to share while having so little is inspiring. We also visited a witch doctor(now I admit my distain for such things is is matched only by what I feel for psychics and star signs so maybe I'm biased)but he basically danced for us for 5 minutes then bit off a lump of lit charcoal before showing us some 'potions' he kept in Fanta bottles. Those gullible, I
mean wiling enough to have a reading were taken to a dark room and not offered tea leaves or tarot cards, but just the power of his handshake with which he could divine your future. Imagine what he could achieve with a high 5. A trip of mine wouldn't be complete without a spot of cross dressing and the group had one very messy night drinking home made punch, shots and local beer which I tried to not spill down my black sequin dress and pink headband. Freddie eat your heart out.
Zambia. Once I'd removed the lipstick and wiped away the mascara and sense of shame we boarded the truck for a 3 day trip through Zambia, a landlocked country that boasts an impressive 8 borders. It was noticeable that the further south we travelled the more difficult conditions were for people, whilst Kenya and Tanzania seemed impoverished at the time it was evident that this was nothing compared to countries like Malawi and Zambia. This is a country with grim statistics, life expectancy is only 40 and a massive 30%!h(MISSING)ave HIV, even though it has a lot of natural resources and tourist attractions to profit
from. I don't have any solutions or know who to point a finger at-be it a mismanaged government or a lack of help from the Western world, but I just can't begin to contemplate how a country in today's advanced world could have a THIRD of its people with the virus and the average person dies a few years older than I am now. The country itself is very large yet thinly populated and vegetation is sparse which adds to the feel of the place but it does have one major draw card that will keep visitors coming and spending money, the mighty Victoria Falls.
Victoria Falls. Forget Niagara, Angel et al, because Victoria-much like her namesake-is the ominous grumpy looking mother of them all. It Is the largest sheet of falling water anywhere in the world, 1700metres wide(3 times wider than Niagara) and 100 metres high(twice as high as Niagara) and is listed as one of the seven natural wonders of the world, the locals simply call it the 'Smoke that thunders'. The falls also serve as a natural border and so can be seen from two sides, at Livingstone in Zambia and Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe,
and as is the way with such things on a grand scale the only way to truly take it all in is from above so me and a few others took a helicopter ride over from the Zambia side. We actually went during the dry season when the falls are only 20% of full capacity but this is apparently in our favour because at full pelt during the wet season the falls are so powerful that they throw up mist and vapour hundreds of metres in all directions severely restricting visibility. From above and with perfect visibility we could fully appreciate the scale and power and personally I think it reigns regally (see what I did there) over Niagara and Iguazu Falls which I have seen. It is also seemed unique to me because instead of falling into a large wide river and flowing onwards like the others it has instead carved a deep gorge into the rock face which it cascades down with massive force, then the water meanders sharply off into the distance traversing back and for across other gorges that is has carved out over millennia. The water seems to flow unknowingly towards the edge before disappearing
down what is essentially a huge crack in the landscape where some unseen force has prized two huge slabs of land apart. It was a great view from above and well worth the money, a sentiment echoed by those who did the microlight over, and beggared belief that this was only a fifth of its natural power. We also visited the falls from the Zimbabwe side which allowed us to get even closer and feel the force and mist for ourselves.
Botswana-Chobe National Park. Botswana, I was surprised to discover, is 85%!c(MISSING)overed by the Kalahari desert making it a pretty dry and desolate place. The result is that the little water the country does contain acts like a magnet and drags pretty much all the African wildlife available(aside from rhinos) into one small place, and that place is called Chobe National Park. Chobe forms a natural border between Zambia, Botswana and Namibia and is best viewed from a small speed boat which ultimately led to it being one of the trip highlights for many people. These included sights such as a herd of elephants swimming across the river, crocodiles so close we could touch them and one
that practically boarded the boat, hippos staring us down from the bank or disappearing beneath our boat, giraffes drinking whilst doing the splits, monkeys stripping trees and the usual litany of grazing animals such as buffalo and gazelle. We also went on two game drives and got to see a lot of these up close including a few male lions stalking around. But the icing on the cake occurred as we made our way out of the park and found a pride of lions feeding hungrily on a water buffalo. It's probably a bit wrong to have been so delirious at seeing a group of animals including cubs covered in blood tearing at the innards of another, but the deliverance of such a sight on what was my final day in Africa seemed to good to be true. It deserves a lot more credit and airtime than I am able to give it here but Chobe was fantastic.
The speed bumps of Africa. So that is East Africa finished, 8 countries in 6 weeks with a whole host of highlights, from trekking Kilimanjaro to tracking gorillas in Uganda, the haunting images of Rwanda and rafting the Nile, visiting
schools and orphanages, the wildlife at the Serengeti and Chobe, relaxing at Zanzibar and gazing at Victoria Falls to name just a few. The overland trip was an experience in itself, long journeys, basic amenities, tiresome border crossings and camping in a tent can take its toll. But the thinking is done for you and the trip is well organised, plus the groups I met along the way as ever made it, Dave, the Irish and group on Kili, my still missed Team Uganda and the great group for the final leg. But perhaps the best aspect is travelling across this vast continent and observing daily life, while sitting on a truck and simply passing through doesn't allow huge amounts of interaction with locals or a chance to share their thoughts or views, I'd still maintain it is a good way to sit back and just experience Africa happening in front of you. There are huge tracts of land to cover, long open stretches of countryside occasionally broken up by a small village or settlement. Outside these people toil in fields under a blazing sun outside house of mud and straw that bring to mind the Celtic roundhouses I visit
so often in Wales, but they are 2000 years old can Africa really be so far behind? Children run around in tattered clothes using sticks to push along old wheels or fashioning toy cars from beer cartons and bottle tops using only what they find. Utterly oblivious to iPads or play stations they seem happier than any children I know as they dodge in and out of the precious livestock grazing lazily. The long bumpy roads spill onwards full of pot holes and speed bumps, broken up by small yet busy towns consisting of lots of small shops and market stalls, all adorned by bright advertising selling the cheap necessities of daily life and surrounded by litter. Men wearing premier league football tops gather on motorbikes or sit around on plastic chairs engaged in lazy conversation, whilst women bustle to and fro carrying huge bundles on their delicate looking heads as babies strapped to their backs bob along oblivious to the sweat and toil. Overcrowded vehicles ferry people between towns while blaring African beats, covered in religious messages promoting Christianity. 'Jesus saves' and similar messages adorn cars, walls and shop fronts as people continue to keep the faith and believe
in the small print, despite everything signifying they should have torn up their God contract a long time ago.
Yet just like the speed bumps that cover their roads there are always reminders of the journey ahead, child trafficking posters and domestic abuse posters abound, HIV rates and life expectancy that defy belief, the homophobic views, families surviving on shreds of clothes and the meagre food they can grow, orphanages at every corner, mosquito nets being used for fishing nets as the need for commodities takes over from the common sense, security with guns in every shop and a land where someone like Mugabe can be 're-elected' time after time. Each country has a similar story, one of of ancient civilisations surviving for centuries before colonialism takes over, exploitation, slavery, a fight and victory for independence, a ruthless leader intent on one party state, coups, bloody battles, corruption and modern day economies as flimsy as their one ply toilet paper. But East African countries can't be pigeon holed so easily, just when you think you have them figured out and that each new country is the same as the last it surprises you, the mask slips and the disguise
is revealed. The people are tough, they have survived as long as civilisation itself and will continue to do so, regardless of their situation a smile is always on the lips and children and adults wave constantly as we pass by and dance for joy when the muzungu(white people) wave back. They laugh freely and happily, perhaps it is these people untainted and unspoilt by the world we enjoy who are truly freest. It all makes for a unique travel experience that gives plenty of food for thought in a place that gives a lot of thought to food and makes people like me want to come back again, we aren't finished yet Africa.
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Home and Away
Bob Carlsen
Great conclusion...
with appropriate philosophizing. Are you headed home? My son will be attending Bangor University starting 23 September so I now have a personal Welsh connection, in addition to some fellow Tb'ers from Wales.