Death By Coconut

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When coming to Zanzibar one is told to expect all sorts of interesting, bowel-distressing, general health-reducing, occasionally fatal diseases and experiences. Malaria, Yellow Fever, (little ebola going around in Uganda...), a batch of cholera here or there, jiggers: really fun: you can see them wiggling around merrily laying their eggs in your feet (in reality you don't usually get as far as the wiggle stage... a friendly neighbor will take a knife to your toe and start digging before that happens...) being in any kind of moving vehicle: rocks, dogs, cats, other people, other cars, yawning precipices -- all aimed directly for and then swerved away from (in most cases) at the last possible instant. - The ultimate game of chicken. (In a recently relayed Kate adventure ... when asked why she would not re-board her dala dala: "he's still a reckless driver who doesn't stop when someone is punching him in the face"... apparently someone threw himself across the windsheild of a moving truck to climb into the driver's side window in order to properly beat him up... ?)
And then there are the coconuts. Death by one is not something that crosses the average mind when contemplating tropical palms waving on white pearly beaches, turquoise water a-lapping. (Yes I am in school right now.) But when you are sitting on the ground interviewing some fishermen and on crashes down next to you - you start to wonder. And when you ask (in Swahili) if people die from coconuts falling on their heads - the answer is a very matter-of-fact yes. And as you start calculating the number of hours you would have to wait for a boat to take you to the next island so you can drive to a hospital (more likely a 'dispensary' with a room with an IV in the back) - they assure you taht death is instantaneous. So there is that... although I'm sure you could also just end up with a shattered hand, foot, leg, etc. and then the hospital calculations might come in handy. You also think about it quite a bit when you are lying coverd by your mosquito net too hot to sleep and a couple fall and roll onto the tin roof over your head - and it sounds like the world is basically ending.
Despite the potential death by tropical fruit, there is a lot of the fantastic here too. ... just one more thing before i get into the fantastical here: NEVER talk yourself out of the conviction that things are crawling on you. Nevermind that the last 10 times were false alarms, it just so happens that your outfit consists of 3 strategically wrapped peices of unfinished cloth and there were some threads hanging down - doesn't matter... that thing crawling up your thigh - DEFINITELY has legs... just a word to the wise.
So the fantastic: (mostly an ode to the women (and their fashion sense) here...)
* A woman walking full hijab and ninja (what you think when you think Saudi Arabia) with glasses on OVER the ninja - except the eye slit is narrower than the glasses - very strange variation on bifocals...
* Everyone here dresses to match. Three little girls in matching headscarf, tunic, pant outfits in a satiny periwinkle material. The same material in bright blue on three grown women wearing matching dresses and headscarves as they walk across the street in perfect step with each other. Women wearing one half of a kanga as a head scarf, carrying her baby tied on to her back with the other - or if she really went for it she is also wearing the kanga as a skirt and has another little girl by her side wearing it as a dress...
Guess I should explain Kanga: brightly colored and patterned light-weight material sold in sets of two. When worn properly: worn OVER another dress or skirt/blouse combo... wrapped around the waist as a skirt and over the head, shoulders, and chest as a head/rest-of-body covering. The concept of color clashing DOES NOT EXIST here - many times one kanga will be striped and the other covered in bananas in colors that should NEVER been seen together - somehow these women pull it off. Also the kangas all have some swahili expresion across the bottom and at times people purchase kangas for the saying. Example: A woman's husband claims that here is not enough money to send their daughter to school, but he happens to have found enough money to buy a new sound system. The "its more important to love people than things." kanga might be just the thing. incidentally - this kanga is bright yellow with large blue and turqouise polka dots and a border - in the same color scheme- of massive flowers to fulfill any hawaiian shirt afficionado's dreams. (don't worry I own it... ) for the curious: a set costs between $2.3 and $4.5 depending on quality and your bargaining skills... if used strategically... quite a bit of bang for your buck.
* SPACE IS RELATIVE (as is cleanliness as has been mentioned earlier) Einstein really is a genius.... what I'm getting at however: There are about 12 people on a bench 15ft. long - they're pretty cozy - but someone else needs to get on (shockingly this is yet another dala dala description - public transport really is the best people watching spot the world over) so suddenly there just enough room materializes for them to squish their behind in, around, and on their new neighbors so they are basically sitting supported by the pressure of the rest of the bench - you know equal forces and such.
* another thing different here is people's trust with their kids - kids are passed hand over hand as mom gets her shopping together, often sat on strangers laps for hour long rides, then passed back out again (sometimes simply over the side) when their stop comes. People work together here in a way that is dramatically different from anything I've experienced, and it is done so casually. The closest thing I've experienced were the sheroots in israel - minivans that follow certain bus routes - people just pass their money up to the front and their change is handed back to them - no one ever seems concerned that they won't get it back... blew me away...
* A little girl (maybe 4?) dressed in a very pretty party dress (think late 80s prom) - poofy sleeve, lace trim, big bow, bright satiny purple... looks up at you with the biggest brown eyes recently mid sob - becuase you are in a dispensary and little people's experiences at the doctor's are never something to look forward to... but she is staring at you with these gloriously huge eyes and her face is dripping kohl - becuase, yes, eyeliner is definitely baby-wear here. Just in case you were wondering what I was doing in a dispensary - turns out not drinking enough water and spending hours on the beach in the equatorial sun collecting molluscs can give you quite a headache - the good news: my anti-malarial techniques seem to still be going strong!!
* women here can carry ANYTHING on their heads. (I'm convinced that they occasionally do it just to show off.) Massive suitcases, a bucket of about 30 kilos of freshly-collected molluscs as they cross a pond of loose submerged rocks, water about mid calf... and I'm having issues keeping my balance and my clothes dry with just a bag with a notebook and camera!, large bundles of sharpened wooden stakes for seaweed farms, buckets of water, etc. anything goes.

so thats it for the odes... but some fun facts:
1. this was written over a month ago in Nyamanzi... but haven't had time until now to publish it.

2. It is unbelievable how useless of a human being I am when there is no running water or power in a place... I def. am a failure at cocunut husking, bivalve collection, generally any form of cooking.. you name it...

3. I ADORE PESTICIDES!! 98.11% DEET!! when it comes to keeping my ankles and toes mosquito bite free.

4. To those of you who have ever mistakenly looked down into a pit toilet ans seen lots of blurred activity - but couldn't quite make it out- a SEA OF MAGGOTS... white, gooey, and wriggling....

5. Unhappy, out of water, blowfish/pufferfish(?) make for a good game of catch.

6. People in Zanzibar have a really nice habit of exchanging high fives and then touching their hearts - when a toothless grandma cracks a spectacular smile at you when she shakes your hand and then kisses her hand - the habit is that much sweeter.

7. Fun term: TAMVI - sweet noodles - spaghetti cooked in coconut w/sugar and salt and a medley of Zbar spices.
JIONGO TAMVI - big round sea cucumbers that expolode their VERY STICKY innards at you as a defense mechanism - long, clear, noodle-esk strings.... makes perfect sense!! but might turn you off noodles for a while.


sorry this one is massive... All of the above was written, agian, about a month ago. So funny... when writing earlier I mentioned ebola in uganda... at the time I did not know I would be going there!! Just got back today. it was fantastic. Spent shabbat with the Abayudaya... a community of Jews up in the hills in eastern uganda... then spent new years on an island on a lake (lake Bunyonyi - hostel: Byoona Amagara GOOGLE IT!)... unbelievably cheap, and relaxing, and beautiful.... although the transportation there was not quite so chill... motorcycle up a potholed, dusty dirt road over a mountain.... the mantra being "I will NOT eat shit, I will NOT eat shit / I PROMISE TO TAKE A TAXI NEXT TIME!!!" but then all the craziness happend in Kenya which quadrupled gas prices in Uganda... so well.... didn't use one over the mountain again.... but.... anyhoo. lived to tell the tale. so yes, still in africa - home in 4 DAYS!! I have been traveling around northern Tanzania and Uganda for the last 3 weeks... went to Ngorogoro Crater, climbed a chunk of Mt. Meru, bummed around, am going to visit baby adva for a night tomorrow... was supposed to be there tonight also, but "THERE's NO HURRY IN AFRICA." which some times translates to... well.... so you wait.... and then sunday night back in Arusha Backpackers Hostel (my home away from home) and then I start my ridiculous plane voyage home: Kilimanjaro to Dar Es Salaam to Dubai to New York to SAN FRANCISCO!! hoping for 30 hours if I'm lucky... also ... have to add ENTEBBE to the airport list. so thats it... probably the end of my travel blogging... sorry that they've been few and far between. will maybe upload photos .... ENJOY!!

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