The Whinging of an Independent Traveler: Or, how to include British in a Post Title

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As many of you know, I often travel by myself. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a girl. A blond, curly haired girl - I can’t really fly under the radar. I’ve been frustrated lately by the limitations of independent travel. I should also note that when I was in Cape Town with a group, I was frustrated by the limitations of group travel, and when I traveled with my brother last summer, I was occasionally frustrated by the limitations of having only one travel companion. This is all as a caveat to state that I’m unable to ever be pleased with whatever situation I’m in. The grass is always greener, you know.

But there are significant limitations to being on my own, especially in a new, potentially violent city. Cape Town, especially the part where I’m staying, is relatively safe. But it’s still more dangerous than my neighbourhood on the south side of Chicago at night. I chose my location because of its easy access to the University of Cape Town campus (there’s a shuttle that leaves from close by). But at the same time, I have to leave the library in time to take a shuttle back to the city and walk home before dark, which, in winter, leaves me with a whole stack of unproductive hours before bed time. I’ve taken to analyzing the linguistic patterns of South African soap operas. Today I have to get out to the University of the Western Cape, which is heck of far away. There’s a train that goes straight to the campus, but it goes by way of some questionable neighbourhoods. If I had a guy with me, I just might risk it. But instead, I’m taking a taxi, which will cost me $28 each way, instead of the train, which costs $2.

But while the limitations of being by yourself are frustrating (you have to know exactly where you’re going and how you’re getting there most of the time, you can’t just hop off into a new city without figuring out what areas are ok and which aren’t, you can’t go out after dark without special effort, etc) I think the most frustrating aspect of independent travel is the fear that creeps in on occasion. If you find yourself in an awkward situation, you have to instantly put up your every guard. For example, a very kind shuttle driver offered to drop me off at my guesthouse rather that at the shuttle stop, causing him to go significantly out of his way. He also tried to strike up a conversation, asking me questions about myself and what I’m doing here. And the first thought that entered my head when he asked my name is, “I don’t want him knowing where I’m staying.” (I should also note that he proceeded to tell me his work schedule, and ask me why he hadn’t seen me before, etc). And I know that I’m to trust my instincts, so I made him drop me off at the corner and I walked down a good block and a half, making sure that he had turned the corner before I turned into my building. Now, I’m sure that the man was just being conversational and kind, but I have been made so leery of seemingly good intentions (especially those of men) that I was probably downright mean to the poor guy.

See, if we were to get down to the heart of the matter, I think we’d find that it’s those fearless women who travel by themselves, those who are inclined to trust in others for help and who relish the incidental conversations along the way. It’s also these who are the most frustrated when the fear is thrust upon them, and when distrust can creep its way in because of your seeming vulnerability. Because, even though the man was probably just being nice, I would rather be rude to him and come out alright than have reckoned wrongly, and ended up on the evening news. Because I’m sure that in some part of me, I can keep traveling alone because I keep coming out alright - a “well, it worked out last time, so let’s give it another go!” approach. And who’s to say that if something bad happened, not someone stealing my stuff, but something really bad, that I would be brave enough to go again? I once heard of an American grad student on a program in Moscow who was assaulted and raped, got pregnant, and got an abortion, and didn’t go home until her program ended six months later. I could not be that resilient. So I guess the conclusion is that you have to keep your guard up, and discern when you can wisely let it down.

So, independent travel is fun and awesome - after all, the only one you have to please is yourself - but it does have its costs, emotional, social and financial. I still think the best way to travel is with a few well-chosen travel buddies. If possible, they should not be close friends, at least not if you want to still be friends after your trip. Choose people who like to spend money and time the way that you do, otherwise you’ll really end up frustrated. In fact, the best people for me to travel with are my brothers, despite the fact that we can bicker till we’re blue in the face. They account for all the practical concerns (big, strapping guys who can act as deterrents) and we really do share a lot of interests in common. We can also argue if we need to, which is good rather than allowing hard feelings to sit and stew, as they do on many a trip.

Thanks for reading my rant - Here’s to many trips, alone and with company!

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Comments

[Wenda Dueck]

Safety
As we like to say here at Frontier - Safety is always #1 and i am so glad to know that you are practising that. We love you, Mom