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Published: April 15th 2012
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So the third match day commences. The Manager sees the Photographer and Surgeon off as the meet their taxi at 6.30am before nipping out for a jog (yep, starting to feel horribly unfit). All talk of a training sessions seems to have evaporated for the Key and Choir masters due to a dodgy prawn. Ears' Grandma Jenny was at the hotel bright and early with freshly laundered kit waiting for Kingsley to ride shotgun into the township. What weighty subjects would be discussed at breakfast? Einstein's theory of relativity? World politics? No none of the above, the debate focused on whether Captain was having Cornflakes or Frosties for breakfast. How could you tell? Sox got to the nub of the matter when he espoused that to know for sure there was a need to try them before sugar and milk was put onto them. Mail rounds; Sleepy made us wonder whether he had his phone when he admitted to having heard best wishes from home already?! Slodge was unimpressed at being replaced by a Tortoise in his little sister's affections. We boarded the bus to the Nyanga Township to play Lagunya RFC which proved a bit of an eye opener. It
was in the more affluent end of the township, if it is acceptable to have township and affluent in the same sentence. As we got close Boots assumed a new name 'Old Boots' Venter because he was afraid to wear his shiny new yellow ones in case they were stolen from his feet. On the bus Choir selected an appropriate tune from Iridescence (sic) which had lines such as "save me from cold desolation and desperation" the boys lapped it up. Keymaster started practicing his Glasgow Kiss action as we entered the car park to be confronted by one pitch with post sans crossbar and the other which struck a jaunty pose to the right which would have significance once the game started. To be honest it was better than the ground I used to play on in Gainsborough. Old Boots said "thank god I'm not the slowest player on the team, I won't be caught first", Slodge just said "Sh*t!" We went on the pitch and the boys found a bit of glass and some money which they gave to the urchins surrounding the bus. One of the groundsmen picked up the ball and the boys looked on in
fear until they discovered he just wanted to play. The pitch was dressed with flags, post pads and markers for all the important lines and the support team retired to the small stand at pitch side. The team's balls (rugby) were snaffled to be played with whilst the match went on. The Lagunya team came out resplendent in their purple shirts and the referee ran on in full Irish rugby kit, I think he said his name was Brian O'Driscoll (Louis). At 1057 the game got under way with the Exiles displaying zero aggression, dropping the ball on the first move and letting Lagunya break down the left to score from the half way line. 7 zip! The boys realised they had a game on and moved the ball right then left. We got a tap penalty, Yoko drove forward then passed left with Puck slamming down in the left corner. 7-5. Exiles started to gain a foothold with good runs from Squeaky and Puck but the move came to nought due to a forward pass. Mistakes were the order of the day and cost us 7 tries, all in all, due to shabby execution by the team. For the
next try Old Boots broke and Yoko took it on, quick ball from a clean out by Munch and Kermit put it down on the left. Now controversy Rocket went for the conversion and struck it beautifully, it went between the base of the posts and over the bar but over the top of the tilting left upright 10-7 Exiles. The first half concluded with a converted try for Pacman who ran it in from a front row 65metres (6.5cm in the real world) and another from Rocket on the right. Ghost experienced a scary moment when he was picked up over head height by a snarling adversary who fortunately realised what he had done and put him down as gently as a featherbed. Halftime score 22-7 Exiles. At half time a Lagunya micro-spy infiltrated our huddle and stole they keys to our defence. So into the second half, Lagunya broke through immediately because Sleepy had lived up to his name and fallen asleep by forgetting he was playing fullback. (No kidding! Predictably he puts it down to poor communication from the coach) The break went for 70 yards before Old Boots managed to haul a certain try scorer down
from behind. It stayed a little cagey until we dropped a ball and they ran it in from 60 yards out 12-22. We came back but knocked on. A great tackle, secure and clean out by Tackles who was loving playing flanker but you guessed it another knock on, breakout and long range score. 17-22 Exiles. We hammered back, dropped the ball, break out down the right, long range score 24-22 to Lagunya with 6 minutes left. Squeaky bum time! Exiles hit back and worked a move down the right from a tap penalty, 3 on 1 overlap........knock on! Gulp! Last play of the game was a defensive scrum to Lagunya which we pushed them off then from 10 yards out Yoko picked and drove to score 27-24 Exiles, conversion missed. 22 very chastened, blushing lads left the pitch despite the win. So into the clubhouse for a terrific function, the Exiles supplied loads of kit to the home club after a great welcoming speech from Louis, who actually wasn't Irish, but teaches at a local school whilst developing rugby. A spread was provided with hotdogs for the boys; our hosts waited patiently whilst the locusts attacked. We awarded our
prizes and the Manager took a few camels for the local kids. It was like feeding piranhas as the camels vanished into the throng. A great day out, back to the hotel to change and then off to Stellenbosch to watch 2 games of rugby at the Danie Craven stadium. Maties are the local team so Matty now has a picture for the tour scrap book in front of their scoreboard. The first game was Maties against Besoekers (Visitors), won by Maties 29-20 in a good flowing game. Then came the main fare Western Province against the Argentine Pampas ( Pumas 2nds). Resplendent in purple the Pampas fought the Blue and White hooped Province and in a tight contest the home team came out on top 20-16. So to the awards; Play of the Day to Yoko for sparing our blushes, Tackle of the Day to Old Boots for never giving up and Pigz of the Day, in abstentia, to the groundsman who dug the hole for the wonky posts.
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