There and back again...what to do now?

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This is my first message in a long time it seems. The last written explaination of life in SA was back in jefferey's bay, since then i made it to storms river, where i managed to pluck up the courage to do the worlds highest bunjee (caught on dvd so u can all have a laugh when i get home), more surfing down in Wilderness in the western cape, then a mixed time of too many late nights, idiotic moments where i let my gaurd down, and trying to experiance the beauty of a city within a mountain range.

Cape town's experiance has confused me. I found myself once again questioning the whole idea of what i was there to do. Too many times i find myself in the early hours down long st. (main pub/bar street) thinking this is fun and all but really this doesn't fulfill me. I know i may seem to be questioning every thing i do on this trip, and my reasoning, but that is how my mind works, so forgive me if i am boring you on the internal thoughts of joelsupertramp.

I had this idea, a dream some may call it, that adventuring around the world, all by myself, would gain me a life long confidence, some internal insight into what i want and need, and how to realise my potential within myself. Certain instances that i come across, or walk blindly into, turn me around from this and point me in the other direction, towards, losing myself again in a myriad of questions, unsloved problems and too many annoying thoughts and self doubtebness(word?). I wont go into the details, but i get so frustrated when i fail to stick to my guns and make use of my opinion, inquisitivity and so on....

any way, what has struck me, after travelling back up to Kanyamazane, is that maybe all these thoughts and feelings, are test of character, maybe not how i want it to be presented to me, but how the reality is for me at this time!

So, a little on cape town. Cape town is a strange city, the beauty of the beaches down on camps bay and clifton, set against the mellow bustle of the city bowl seem to be overtaken by the towering presence of table mountain and its counterparts. Cape town has a lot to offer, its very cosmopolitan and almost western/european in its approach, so different from my time here in Mpumalanga. The mountain however seemed to dominate my thoughts.. . think i could of stared at the changing seasons on the table top all day, at once very beautiful and appealing in the morning sun, and then very quickly can become quite mysterious, as the top, and only the top becomes engulfed in a shroud of cloud, that can stay there in one spot all day, like a rolling smoke machine has been placed on top!

So the travel back saw me hop on a flight to jo'burg then a connecting bus to nelspuit, back in the idea of home life; watching t.v. and getting up early. my arrival soon turned into more travelling as i went on a trip to durban with my african 'father' mr. Manana who is the circuit manager for several schools in the region. Together with about 20 headteachers, we managed a 13 hr bus trip down to the city, one day of disorganised pleasure at the Durban aquariam and sea-front, then back on the bus the next day for a 14 hr drive up through Zululand and Kwa-Zulu Natal, which i was too tired and reflective about my exsistence on this trip to appreciate!

Now i think i need to move again. Without a school to go to everymorning, iam struggling to fill my mind with things to do, so i think maybe a little sojourn to Mozambique would be appropriate, for a few days, just to get me ready for christmas in the sun!

Joelx.

p.s. christmas tunes in 30 degree heat just ain't got the same effect i'm afraid!!!!

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