When I wake up in the morning.......

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Well I never! Woke up this morning, looked out the bedroom window (aka Boeing 747) and what should I see...........only blooming South Africa!!!

Had a good flight, took off at 18:50 instead of 17:50 as some plonker checked in but didn't board the plane so they had to scramble through all the luggage to get this person's back off off the plane. Do they literally have to search through all the name tags on all the bags and hope the one they're lookig for is somewhere near the front? Bummer if it was the last one they got to!

Watched a couple movies on the plane - Beowolf and Juno. Just started watching Enchanted and we had to land, how rude!

Managed to get a few hours kip. Was mighty confused when they switched the lights on at half three, "well there's just no need for that is there, why would they do that!" then it clicked, "ohhh, two hours time difference and it is in fact breakfast time......oh my gawd, then it really clicked, I'll be in South Africa in less than two hours, aaaaaaah!" Then it really set in how much my pore (I've forgotten how to spell pore, pour..........somebody help me out here) butt was hurting after being sat on it for ten hours. Honestly thought I'd be sitting on a rubber ring for the next two weeks. Gave it a good go at sleeping on my side but it just wasn't happening. Think the people either side of me thought I was a bit strange!

When we landed, which I didn't realise had actualy happened (didn't have window seat - boo!), I was on the verge of doing a little jig, "I'm in South Africa, la la la laa la la." Obviously I refrained from doing so, couldn't have them thinking what on earth have they let into their country already. Wouldn't blame them if they did mind as the first thing I go and do is go to the wrong terminal, queue for a fair few minutes (I'd be lying if I said it wasn't more than twenty minutes), showed my passport with a big old grin of excitement oly to be told I'm in the wrong place, doh! So, had to do the walk of shame back past the still "rather too large for my liking" queue obviously still with a huge smile as "I SO know what I'm doing!"

Finally got to the right terminal, got my luggage (always a bonus) and headed on out to find domestic flights when what should happen...I get caught by a nice airport porter. He saw me coming a mile off I tell ya, little blonde English girl walking around in a big old daze (actually it was more like awe, how dare he interupt my moment of aweness). Asked me if I was on a domestic flight, obviously answered yes (I'm not too good at the whole putting two and two together) and before a I could say "jumping geraniums" we were off on a marching mission, 100miles/hr, to t'other side of the airport. Dingo here thinking all the way what a nice service to provide, then came the catch - apparently the airport doesn't pay them to do this so they have to rely on tips. Ding, ding, ding! "Oh man, why'd I let myself get suckered into this one!" Didn't have any change on me so the smallest note I had was 50 rand, which having not quite grasped the exchnge rate yet, I was reluctant to part with. However, when I actually figured out this was a big old sum of 4 quid I sternly told myself, "get a grip girl, hand it over".

Next was the domestic flight to Phalaborwa and what a trip that was. Had a couple hours to spare before it left so having been givinhg a free newspaper I took it upon myself to read it. Turns out the darn thing was almost the same size as me. Thankfully found a table to read it on otherwise the word numpty comes to mind at the sight of me trying to hold the thing up, don't think my arm span would reach either side.

Went through to the boarding gates at about 9:45. I really should pay more attention to where things are when reading signs. I'm sure I properly read where the E gates were but it turns out I totally ignored the downwards pointing arrow and turned right towards the D gates. As I walked further and further I got it into my head that the E gates were sure to be after the D gates, only logical I think, even though there was an obvious lack of signs for E gates. Went all the way to the end, why on earth I didn't stop myself is beyond me. So then I had to play the whole "I SO know what I'm doing" card again and onbiously by looking at the departures screen and then down at my watch people will realise I'm early for my plane so I'm just gonna walk all the way back to get some grub (that's the story I played in my mind anyhows), I'm sure they were convinced.

I did eventually find the right gate, got on a bus which took us to the plane. We all trotted off the bus about to get on the plane only to be told it's the wrong plane, get back on the bus. All got back on the bus, waited 5 minutes only to be told it is the right plane after all, I'm sure they were just messing with us. The plane was tiny, only had a about 30 seats. I really thought to set the scene there really should be a few chickens and ducks flapping about the place, wooden crates, feathers flying everywhere like. It was so noisy, couldn't hear a thing. If ever there was a perfect moment for the Indiana Jones theme tune to be playing, now was it. I think I may have sung out loud for a bit, what the hell, nobody could hear me anyway (I think). Landing was an experience and a half, hilarious (if not terrifying), think I left my stomach up in the sky on multiple occassions, would go along a bit, drop down a few meters (hence the loss of my stomach), go along a tad further and go back up a couple meters, then drop again, finally got somewhere near the ground and KA-BAM, touch down, slammed on the breaks and came screeching to a halt, and breathe!

Welcome to Phalaborwa!!!

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