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Published: October 16th 2006
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Jesty, Linguisa and Daz
Here's the lad we brought the Uniform for. Photo taken at a 'P' Party night.
Here is another Blog as promised.
U'd better appreciate this one and excuse the spelling because we've been partying for 2 days solid now!!!
Anyway, After dicing with death with Great Whites we spent a couple of days at Plettenberg Bay and then a couple of nights at Port Elizabeth. Not much to report from these places but we met some wkd people and spent most our time sitting around the Braai (barbecue) drinking Beer and sipping cheap Red Wine.
We were planning to get the Baz Bus which is a hop-on hop-off backpackers bus service that travels all across South Africa, all the way from PE to Durban but we were informed when we booked our ticket that even tho it was only 2 inches on the map it would take 17 hours , sod that!!
We were advised to break the journey up and were informed that the place to go at the mo was a place called Coffee Bay. We'd never heard of it but it was popular with Backpackers.
Not expecting much we provisionally booked for 2 nights, we left a 'week' later!
Coffee Bay is in the Transkeei region which is
Me at the Shobeen
mmmMMM i really enjoyed that!!!!!! a mass of green Hills and Mud huts, this is the poorest part of SA. The Xhosa people are native to this area and this is the main languge spoken here. Your Wealth is governed by how many Cows you own. If a Xhosa Male wants to marry a Xhosa Female then he has to ask the Females Dad how many Cows he thinks his daughter is worth. Obviously it was mainly the ugly Females married as they are the cheapest!!!
Eventually we arrived at Coffee Bay and the Hostel and place was a amazing, from the moment we stepped off the Bus there was a wkd vibe to the place and the staff were more than friendly. Some hostels u stay in are like prisons, they make Robben Island look like the Savoy.
We'd only been there 2 hours and decided to extend our stay with reception not knowing wot lied ahead....
...They have this stupid rule in the Bar area that if u spot someone drinking with their right hand u have to shout "BUFFALO" and then the person has to down the rest of their drink through a Funnel. This of course started off
being a bit of a novelty but on the 6th night when we were still being forced to drink Cocktails via Funnels it became a burden. A planned quiet evening turned out to be having to be put to bed by the Hostel staff at 4am.
The Hostel (Coffee Shack) arranged trips and excursions during the day whilst having to mix it with partying every night.
It rained for 3 days solid when we first got there so the plan for our first day was to take a Surf lesson on the Beach.
Sounds simple so far doesn't it, ur wrong and so were we.
Torrential rain meant the rivers we had to cross were fast flowing but normally this time of year they run dry.
Picture the scene. both geared up in our 'figure-hugging' wet suits and a Surf Board under one arm we had to cross the first River just outside the Hostel which wasn't to bad except for being bare footed with Razor sharp Rocks underneath ur foot but it was so murky we couldn't see what we were treading on.
One down, one to go. After slipping and sliding down narrow walkways that were now
mudslides we arrived at the 2nd river with the Beach in sight. There was a group of 5 of us and our instructor Neil, we all stood in shock staring at the river we had to cross, i'm sure our White Water Rapids were supposed to be at Victoria Falls and not here!!!
Neil stood there for 5 minutes cursing under his breath and one of our group pipes up "i don't mind attempting to cross the River as long as i know we can definately Surf when we get to the other side". No probs replys Neil and with that we went one at a time accross the River.
It was far to deep to wade across so we had to lie on our Boards and paddle like hell.
OH MY GOD, how scary was this, as soon as our Boards touched the water we were already 30ft downstream heading towards the Sea. The current was so strong, we could picture ourselves appearing on '999' back in England with Micheal Burke doing the 'voice over'.
However, a hell of alot of effort and ending up 50ft downstream of our target we finally all made it across.
There was the shocked silence again, only to be disturbed by Neil saying "Shit, Sorry guys, the current is far to strong to surf today".
So time for a summary, we'd risked life and limb to reach the Beach for an hour and now WE CAN'T EVEN SURF. We ain't the violent type but at that precise moment we're sure our Surfboards wouldn't of looked out of place imbedded into Neils skull.
A few Beers when we arrived back and all was forgotten(ish).
A couple of days of heavy partying and it was time to explore the Xhosa culture.
We had planned both to do this but Daz got hit hard by the "BUFFALO" rule the night before so I left him tucked up in bed with a box of immodium, at arms length from the toilet!!
This was by far an experience i'd never forget.
The trip lasted for 5 hours and in that time i'd eaten local food with a family inside a Mud hut.
This consisted of Millies, which is basically a Polenta/cous-cous dish with 'Wild Veg'. Wild, they weren't joking either. The Wild Veg was a mix of Dandelion
Xhosa's Haywain
The Music ran off Car Batterys!! Leaves and Grass. I'm sure i got lumbered with the biggest plate and felt rude leaving any. Possibly the most rankest thing i'll ever eat in my life!
Next was a visit to the Village 'Spiritual Healer'. This bloke sits on a mat all day every day and never leaves his Mud Hut. Xhosa people visit him for counselling or healing if they are ill etc.
It was decorated with a churchy theme (if u know what i mean) and we were invited to ask questions via our interpretor.
I was in a group of six people and was summoned to sit opposite the healer on a mat. He made a little cocktail of herbs and asked me to breath in the fumes, before doing this i asked our guide exactly what was supposed to happen after completing this. It was to make me a Man and Masculine.
Bonus i thought, why think of signing up for a gym membership when i could just sit in a hut in Coffee Bay and enjoy the Fumes.
Guess what, nothing happened. I thought i'd feel like Jonny Bravo leaving that hut but instead i felt a bit light headed ang giggly!!!!!! (sorry
Spiritual Healer
Apparantly he communicates with his dead Ancestors for healing advice. We think he's just an old man who smokes to many Herbs!! mum) :-)
Next stop was to a local 'Shobeen' which is their version of the Haywain (pub).
We all sat in a circle on empty Beer Crates and shared a traditional tin of their local beer. Check out the photo to see what i thought of that!!
After falling into a River on the way home I arrived back at the Hostel wet, light headed and a little tipsy. If this was an everyday experience for a Xhosa person then thank god i'm English!
Now time for the emotional part......
Grab a cup of Tea, sit back in your favourite chair and stick on 'Graham Torringtons Late Night Love' as loud as it will go, or, if your at work, just keep reading.
One lad who worked there 'linguisa' (as seen in the photo) had to quit college halfway through his course as he couldn't afford a Uniform to attend anymore. He was working at the Hostel to earn money so he could get back into education, but only earning 6Rand an hour which is about 30p. The Uniform he needed was 500Rand so me and Daz done our bit and brought him Shoes, Shirts, Trousers, Shorts,
Spider Bite
I don't wanna talk about it! Jumpers so he could start College again. Honestly this lad was a Legend, it wasn't just a drunken moment but 35 quid to him was like a mini lottery win.
Ok, Mushy stuff over so turn Graham off.
The only bad point on Coffee Bay was that i got bitten by a Spider whilst sleeping, believe me, if u'd seen the size of the Spiders you'll understand why i didn't sleep for three nights after it!
So all in all Coffee Bay was wkd. Met some fantastic people who we are meeting again in Oz and the Staff were like family for a week.
Next stop St Lucia so till next time....................................hope ur all wkd............see ya.
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Claire
non-member comment
Ahhhhhh
I can't believe some rich westerner hadn't bought him his uniform before that the tight arse wankers...... what a good deed boys.